This is a difficult situation if you are looking for the VA Aid and Attendance Pension. Given your mom's situation, this is not a fast process, and don't know if there is enough time for you to get through it all in time to benefit. You can be paid to be her caregiver, but she would have to actually pay you for the care in order to claim the expense. Would it be possible to have Hospice increase the amount of time they are coming in to help to allow you to work part-time out of the home if income is an issue? Perhaps someone else on here will be able to offers some other insights that are not VA related.

I am taking care of my elderly mom. I quit my job and she moved into my home a month ago. She is on Hospice and is declining. I live in Ohio and wondering if anyone knows of any financial assistance . My mom gets a little over a thousand a month and that is all the income we have.

I get paid also and about 30 percent goes to taxes, this is why you should get at least $15 an hour, it's a killer. Anything like her diapers, heat, food, etc is not taxed as those checks are not written out to me. Don't use your money for her bills, have her pay them. You should not pay taxes on those things, use her money.

My mother lives with me and my family. She has dementia and advanced MS. The family agreed that I would provide the best care for mom. My sister got a lawyer and arranged for her to be guardian over the estate and I guardian over my mom. I have requested from the estate a daily stipend to help pay for expenses. I can't work because I am now a 24/7 caregiver. Now my sister wants to 1099 me for the stipend used to care for mom. What can I do? I have kept records showing how much has been spent on CNAs but my home is not a home based business and she wants to 1099 me for the monies used for living expenses.

If your loved one is a veteran or surviving spouse of a veteran, you need to check out the VA's Aid and Attendance program, which is a tax-free financial resource that can help pay for care. A family member can be paid as the caregiver. If you do a google search for VA Aid and Attendance, you will find a site totally dedicated to this pension benefit.

Veterans in Ct get free home care , but I would call your local Veteran facility and inquire ..

Only if he pays you I would think? Usually the parent pays or the veterans if the spouse was in the war.

i have a question. my boyfriend and i live together, not married. i want to care for him. can i get paid for this, and if so, even though i work a part-time job?

hi my husband got hurt in a storm and my motherinlaw needs around the clock care.I do all the shopping and appointments for docters and also have children at home. Can somebody tell me the first step in getting money to take care of my mother inlaw. I had to quit my jobs cleaning houses and now my bills are behind. I need help please and im not real good on computer.

Same here my sister wanted no part of it and now that he is in a nursing home she tells him oh you could have come dowwn here to Va for 6 months and back there for 6 months. She came out and said no way could she stand to take care of him due to the fact that we never lived with him.. I ended up giving 15,000 to the nursing home but its a small and nice one and I know some of the girls that work there for I was a CNA in homecare, hosp and hospicecare for ages 6 months to 106... Some people just cant do that kind of work and some give it their all...

$1500 a month is low, $900-$1,000 a week is the norm for a caregiver contract when they live with you.So true Sanderella, the nursing home takes it all if they end up there for sure. The lawyer made out a contract for myself to earn about 1/2 the cost of a nursing home, that is fair. My deseased father would never have wanted me to give out the inheritence and throw mom in a nursing home, its for her care, and only the best for her! As for my situation , its been years now and the money is all gone now, its rough but I am glad she is still with us. It was never really about the money , it was about the siblings not getting it when they wouldnt help.Shame on them for not helping, they are getting exactly what they deserve, nothing. Dont let that happen to you, you have the right to compensation, you work so darn hard and have put your own life on hold, unlike the siblings.

If you think about it the nursing homes are taking $12000.00 a month , why shouldnt you get paid at least $1500.00 a month to care for your loved one at home. I did and I know I did a beeter job. write up a contract between you and your parent and dont feel bad because in the end the nursing home and state take it all. Your pqrents wanted you to have some of their saving now in this day and age you need to take it or loses it......

dollie, I felt the same way about being uncomfortable about using my parents income. Then I talked to a lawyer and he told me I am not taking their income, I am taking my siblings inheritence, the siblings that do nothing! You as POA can have a caregivers contract out and be paid at least 8 hours a day , even tho you do more. I am in the same boat here and refuse nursing homes. Two other options are medicaid and pay for your own help. Have someone help a few days a week, at $2k a month thats certainly doable. Even if you do hire a few days, you still get paid and you definately need the break!

My sister feel as if our dad needs to be in assisted living and i totally disagree. My dad can get around physically but mentally is somewhat a challenge. To help out with this memory loss, we have set up an automatic drafting account for all of his bills. My dad isn't ready to go to assisted living and I'm not ready for him to go. I would like for him to be able to stay in his home and enjoy the rest of his life. I am recently unemployed and was wondering if there is any financial assistance I can receive to take care of my own financial obligations and be able to care for my father?

Where the hell was this information 10 years ago. I heard my moms nurse talk about people getting paid to be a caregiver, because face it many of us are unable to work as a result of being a caregiver to a disabled or elderly parent or loved one.

I am sooo steamed , I just hope everyone else can take advantage of these programs.

My father has dementia,copd,cellulitus and many other ailments.I am the eldest of five children.Before my mother passed,I promised her that I wound never put either of them in a nursing home.I get no help from my siblings at all.In fact they don't even call their father on holidays,birthdays,etc.My father lives in my home with my husband and myself.My husband recently retired and our finances were cut more than half.My fathers retirement check and medicade amounts to less than $2000.a month.He is at a point where he can not dress himself,or shower without my assistance.He has lost control of his bladder and bowels to the point that I have to change his depends and clean up after him.He has a condiction where his legs break out with large ulsers that run (weaps).I have to change his bandages daily,sometimes several times a day.We have home health care that comes out once in a while and brings the bandages,but that is all that they do.When they are not coming out to the house,i have to buy the bandages.Which cost several hundred dollars a
month.Because I care for my father,I am unable to get employment outside of the home to help make ends meet.Because of his mental state,I fill uncomfortable using his income,even though I have his power of attorny.Is there any help out there for me?

I agree Albertd, well said.

see I feel somewhere for all of us caring for an elderly parent, we do not want to place them in a home because we do not want them to suffer i do not want her to. I love my mom as she did for me all my life and will to the day of my rest give her the best love and care she deserves

If your mom has any money, she can pay you, if not, medicaid will cover daycare, and most all other expenses for diapers, etc. I dont know about any grants, we are all in the same boat tied to the dock! sorry

I need help with my mom i live in PA and it is hard, i got to go to work and someone reported me saying my mom is home alone. I told them i have no problem staying here and looking after her until someone can come (an agency) to look after her. I have to take a leave of absence for my mom but wonder until i find an agency (medicaid) to help us, where can i get a short term grant to help me until i get her proper help? someone please respond to me and assist me, thanks

My mother is taking care of her oldest sister, who can't do for herself, do to back problems. Her sister moved in with my mother and has her own room with all her medical supplies. My mother's sister has two sons, who really can't take care of their mother. Is there any way, my mother can get paid for her services on taking care of her sister? My mother was sitting for elderly people before this happen and was getting an income. She still needs some kind of income and the two sons really can't help out.

iregrandmapapa, if FIL has money or assets, he must use it for his care. He can pay for in-home care (including you as a caregiver for one shift if you mutually agree to that), or for assisted living, or skilled nusing facility if that is what he needs. Most seniors will long term chronic conditions like dementia wind up spending their assets on their care. They may have intended to leave it to heirs, but, sadly, plans have to change.He kept the farms. They are his. He needs care. He needs to spend his money/assets for that care.

Is the situation that each son lives on one of the farms, and expects to inherit it? If you are trying to prevent selling off assets to pay for FIL's care, then it seems to me both sons should contribute equally to the costs of care. If you provide some of the care you should be paid for it, to help keep it equal among the brothers. But you'd better be darned sure of the will before you undertake this. I think your next step is to consult an elder law attorney and also line up the round-the-clock caregivers that will be needed.

Good luck! Let us know how this progresses.

My Father in law has dementia and fell and broke his hip at the in of April. He has been in a NH for Rehab but has refused to do anything. Thus Meicare says no improvement no stay. He comes home tomorrow. He has farms in his name . So we can't get medicaid. He refused years ago to turn them over to the Boys. We have just enough money to keep the farms going and pay is normal bills. I've quit work to care for him but now we need 24/7 care. THE Other son refuses to help with the care. I've had one melt down before all this he had to do a week of care and wasn't happy. Need some Idea where to go for help that won't brreak the farms. TX

Hi there, I was in your shoes for 10 years and until my Mom needed 24 hour care I didn't get anything, I never even thought of it. You should go to work and if your Mom doesnt like it then she needs make out a contract to pay you. tell her you need to work and she will need a caretaker to come over but you cant not work because of her. I work full-time and have a caretaker for my mom and then I go home and do 8 more hours caring for her. I do not think you will get any compensation unless you live with her. If she is disabled in 3 or more areas and your dad was in the service or war, you can apply for the A&A funding but if she is wealthy she cant get it. Your mom needs to decide what she wants after you tell her you are going back tow work.good luck, its a long road'

I am so glad so see this site and hopefully get some input from people in similar situations. I don't live with my mother but I do need to visit her on a daily basis - pay her bills, take her shopping, take her to doctors appts. etc. She had brain surgery 26 years ago and it left her with some brain damage - she doesn't understand what people are saying a lot of the time which is why I need to visit daily and do everything with her. I have 2 sisters who both live out of town. Since my father passed away 3-1/2 years ago my one sister has had her visit for a few weeks three times. My other sister went on vacation with her twice (mom paid all expenses). I tried getting a full time job but mom made life miserable so I now work one day a week only so I am not able to help my husband with paying bills and finances are just about gone (I worked full time before my father became ill but stopped working to take him to all of his doctors appts and help get mom out of the house daily to give him a break) I feel awful thinking I should get paid for everything I do for her - even if it is just watching movies but she is sitting very very well financially and both sisters are able to work full time and go anywhere (including vacation - we take her everywhere we go) without having to worry about mom . Because of her brain damage she likes to argue with everything I say (she did the same with dad now I have taken his place) and since the sisters live out of town she loves hearing from them and everything they say and do is wonderful. Does anyone have a suggestion as to if and how much a family member could get paid by their parent for helping them on a daily basis? Thanks!

I receive no pay for caregiving for my Mother. I thank God everyday that I have been able to manage her finances and save where ever I can. My husband and I have done a lot of handyman work over the 10 period since my father passed away. Some of the work we provided materials without charge. Neither of us are wealthy either.

My goal has been to save and invest every dime left over from life insurance from my fathers death to be able to provide assisted living at about $5,000 a month for 4 to five years.

I have accounting experience and have kept detailed financial records to protect my husband and I from being accused of stealing. If she outlives her funds for AL she will have to go on Medicaid and into a nursing home. It is my understanding that the government can go back 5 years and review her finances to see if funds were manipulated to avoid using them for her care. So a word of caution, make sure any payments out of funds from the caregiver receiver are legal and documented.

My father was recently placed in a nursing & rehablitation ctr because he can longer can for himself. my two sisters who had access to this checking acct abused his accout; by paying there own expenses; overdrawing his checking acct; destroying documents; cashing his insurance policies; so know my brother and I have applied for guardianship of him to handle his finances; but these sisters of my only care about themselves and my father cause the purse is going to cut off from them. It is very frustratring.

My 96 year old mother is in AL in Colorado...her decision after many, many conversations, arguments, etc. to help her move to be near me (NC) or my brother in GA. She finally gave me a general POA so I could pay bills, etc. but her health had deteriorated preventing the move East. My question: How much travel reimbursement and other related caregiving expenses are reimburseable. I used my CC and Debit during my caregiving stays with mom. I have in one year's time, spent approximately $14,000 on airfare, rental cars, lately hotels, groceries to stock up mom during the times we had a caregiving service at her home. Thanking you in advance for any information and/or resource you can provide..

I care for my mother since her stroke in 1988, lived together since1999. I retired early and receive a small pension, but need supplemental just to live. Mother does not qualify for medi-cal here in calif, and has a fair income, but I scrape from month to month just to put food on the table, she pays the utilities, taxes and insurance on our home--the home that I had to quitclaim because we could not pay the mortgage on and she decided to do a reverse mortgage. Now I have to look forward to being homeless when she passes, though I have been a homeowner for 30 years previous to this arrangement. My siblings are too wrapped up in themselves to even bother answering emails if it entails them doing something as simple as commiting to one day per month to see mom so she has something to look forward to. I don't know how they manage to live with themselves, but that is another story. I finally asked my mother to pay me a set amount per month and, though she tried to avoid it, she finally agreed to share her wealth! It is like pulling teeth when payday comes around, and I know she is saying to my siblings that I do not deserve the pay and that my boyfriend and I do not do anything for free! This is after 20 years of caring for this woman, 12 as a full-time caregiver, the last 5 nearly 24/7 due to falls and illness. I have gone thru a fairly substantial savings and all of my retirement before even approaching this subject, as I know how frugal she is, but I never asked for this role and never really wanted it, I just took over for a sibling who made promises he didn't keep and it fell back on me. My life as I knew it as a successful businesswoman is long over, and I receive food stamps and have taken a crash course in humility. Take care of yourselves and your loved one; something good will come of it--someday!

When my father died and left me to take care of Grandma, I took her into our home when she fell and could not live alone any longer. I sought the help of an "elder law attorney". I have power of attorney and paid the fee for the consultation from my Grandmother's assets/account. It was well worth the $300 to find out what I could do if anything to protect my Grandmother's assets and to plan for her future needs. The consultation took only 2 hours. Best of all, the attorney told me a monthly amount that I could legally collect for rent, utilities, and groceries which helps me immensely and won't interfere with her medicaire benefits. More importantly, it gave me peace of mind in knowing that I am doing what is best for Grandma without harming the finances of my own home and I had legal representation and advice....what a load off my shoulders.