OGna2017, Sometimes all you can do is just try your very best. You and your sister may just have to gang up on her every once in awhile to visit, check her out and get things done. Grace and Peace!
My mom has not allowed myself or sister to visit for over a month. I am concerned she has lost alot of weight and refuses our assistance as perceived as our doing for her out of resentment. She has multiple chronic illnesses but refuses assistance so her apartment becomes littered with dirty dishes and laundry piles up this happens too often...I can not go in and rescue her again and again. She will not accept consistent assistance.
Depression led a friend, age 56, into a mental floor of a hospital. She suffered for years with deep clinical depression. The support from her children and their families was always missing in her life. Her family was Every thing to her, yet they couldn't or wouldn't help her with any kind of support. In one year she had been in the hospital over 6 times. I watched as her family assumed , or ignored, that by getting in and out of the hospital that just like that she was all better. Please if you have a parent who does suffer in silence don't hide yourself as well. They need support more than anything else and to know their needed and loved. A support system is the #1 hope . Without it they will not survive.
Lol! I called it Negative Nancy. She has. 1 lexipro (antidepressant), 1 remeron, (antidepressant), and 2 depakot - 1 morning and 1 evening. She was sundowing in the evening and getting agitated at everything. At first she slept more but after a month she was fine again. Adivan just calmed her down fine but it made her more confused and she is a fall risk. These meds take a little while to work and it's trial and error. Seroquill made her go berserk. She slept during the day at first too. Made me a little worried. Not now.
bootshopgirl - What medication helped with your Mom's mood? And how long did it take for you to see a difference? My Mom has the negative Nellie attitude - like she just doesn't want to do anything. Thanks!
Lostadultkids, I read your profile about your mom. She may be having some depression going on. Sometimes that and /or dementia starting can cause the negative attitude. Plus if she is having mobility issues maybe it's time somebody goes with her to the doctor and treks him what exactly is going on. Good luck!
From a rehab stint in the NH my mom was sent to a geriatric psych. Wing of a hospital. There she was put on an anti depressant and it has made a weird of difference. By by Miss Negative Dementia. Hello Mama!
Nice heads up article. However, most caregivers WILL ignore the signs of depression. Most are too busy worrying about caregiving. And, when caregivers realize depression is seeping into their lives, most do not have the time to face or treat the problem. Caregivers have become a "learned controlled" environment, caring for everyone but themselves---24/7. Difficult to say this...but, there comes a time when "caregiving is all we seem know." Like human robots...do this, do that, make certain priorities are met--meds taken, hygiene addressed, clothes washed, appointments kept, balancing checking accounts, paying bills, being quiet while they nap, talk to them, play games---anything, so they do not become bored or depressed. With many caregivers not having outside support and no family members to help...yes, we cry, we reach out to nothingness, we are depressed, resentful, we dream, we wish, we don't sleep at night because we hear our loved one roaming throughout the house turning on/off lights, turning the TV volume up/down, yelling and chasing the cat around the house at 2am, opening closet doors, up & down the stairs, etc. Personally, I'm tired of hearing how we should take care of ourselves. A membership in a nearby country club would be nice with an adjacent adult day care for those who are so concerned with caregiver's health. Until society and the medical field broadens choices and provides REAL solutions to address health concerns so caregivers can gain emotional balance and structure in our lives nothing will change...only grow worse. With Alzheimer's on the rise with indicated numbers doubling within the next decade, the bottom is falling out. Soon there will not be adequate 'unpaid' caregivers to care for those in need. Yes, I wish there were solutions---caregivers pray for solutions. However, a Prince Charming showing up on my doorstep is more likely to happen than waiting for REAL resolutions to ease caregiver's responsibilities. Just the way it is. Sorry, I must run. My Alzheimer husband is screaming because his electric razor will NOT turn on the TV! Welcome to my world!
glassgirl, hopefully you got resolution from November 2014. My mom broke her hip 11-2-14. She has slowly improved but in the last month or so seems to have regressed. She probably has always been depressed but now seems more so. A great fear of falling again as she has had a couple of bad experiences with home helpers of late. Dr just put her on a low dose of Zoloft, so we will see how that goes. Hoping if nothing else you are being proactive and doing something to help your mom get better.
Recently Mom injured her back. The only treatment she accepts is a heating pad. She sits in a lounge chair all day and sometimes sleeps there. I found out she is refusing phone calls from family and friends so am especially worried. Her primary doc isn't helping her. What specialist does she need? She lives nearby w/ sis who disagrees but a month after her back injury she seems no better and is confused and forgetful.
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Warning Signs of Depression in the Elderly
Sometimes all you can do is just try your very best. You and your sister may just have to gang up on her every once in awhile to visit, check her out and get things done. Grace and Peace!