Easy to read, and very informative
(0)
Report

Unfortunately for most of us, the title of this article should be "Planning Ahead For Mom & Dad's Elderly Care Because They Didn't."
(0)
Report

harley25, many of us are never prepared because we aren't able to see into the future. I never pictured my parents ever being elderly, and when that did happen I was at my wits end wondering what to do next. My parents never took care of their own parents, thus I never knew about dementia or other age related issues. Now I was up to my eyeballs with all of this, thank goodness for finding AgingCare and the people who participate in the forums.

One thing I did do was get my parents to update their legal documents. The Wills, which were 10 years old would have been a landmine if not changed. My parents had used their real estate attorney to draw up the Wills.... I had the new Wills drawn by an Elder Law Attorney. Whew. That was close. As my Mom [98] sadly passed on within that year of signing. And just this past month, I got finally my Dad [94] to do a Trust.

** Now, there is a suggestion... we get to get our own Wills, POA's, Trusts, etc. in order immediately.... and update them every few years.
(0)
Report

i am currently taking care of my mother with alzheimers,i didn't see the warning signs until it was to late,this is a terrible thing too see anyone go through.my mother was always a strong woman,and very independent,and she raised 6 kids all by herself with no help from anyone,and now we cant help her with her memory lose or her go back to living alone.i wish that i would have read up and been better informed about this subject
(0)
Report

Thanks for the info, it’s easy to understand. BTW, if anyone needs to fill out a health care proxy, I found a blank form here: http://pdf.ac/8QsIsN
(0)
Report

I'm just wondering if anyone has any online tools or resources that they used and found to help them through process?
(0)
Report

Helping your parents plan for their future needs is very beneficial because this can help them receive proper care while protecting their needs and this can also help you avoid becoming a becoming a family caregiver. You should encourage them to purchase long term care insurance which can help pay for assisted living facilities, nursing homes and the likes.

It's important to consider the cost and as well as the financial rating of the insurance company. By comparing long term care insurance reviews, you can find a carrier that is stable, can pay for claims and provides quality services as confirmed by ltcoptions/long-term-care-insurance/long-term-care-insurance-companies/. This is to make sure that you can benefit from your policy in the future.

When it comes to the cost, people should purchase early, design a small policy and avail discounts if they want to save money when buying coverage.
(0)
Report

We could not get the mnl to talk about this so we started discussing about how ourself would like to be buried and etc. That got her into the subject and she told us what she wanted as for when that time comes.
(0)
Report

How true that addressing these issues with ones parents is difficult. But it is so important to do so. My own experiences with my elderly parents during the past 6 years challenged my logic and personal and emotional balance. Thank goodness I had the most important forms when I needed them. It wasn't just about having authority and knowing what to do. It was about honoring my parents' wishes and being able to be pro-active.
Marky
(0)
Report

Strangely we were lucky and my mom had some kind of stroke that placed her in the hospital. They guided my sister and I with questions about her care that we just never thought about, like do we want a NRA and if she should forget how to eat do we want them to use a tube or just keep her comforatable while she dies.
My sister and I then were able to discuss these things and not at the last moment have to make such hard decisions.
We do not want measures that will keep her alive in a vegatative state and we will let her die comforatbly if she forgets how to eat. The rest of the family have heard our decisions and all have their own thoughts, but too bad. I know if my mom fogets how to eat, there is no chance she will ever remember again and to keep her alive because of our own selfishness is just not fair to her.
I find a lot of my family members will do just about anything to keep my parents alive just so they don't have to grieve and bury them. It is selfish in my opinion.
I am glad I have at least one sister who GETS it and is ready, as I am, to make these tough choices. She has guardianship of my mom. No one has guardianship of my dad yet. He is 93 and my mom is 83.
Many family members act like they are going to live forever. The denial is high!! My sister and I are the care givers and we do know they have little time left. The rest of the family are just in denial. My own 32 year old daughter bought my mom a novel the other day as a gift. My mom hasn't been able to read in a few years. Another niece took her out for 3 hours. My mom cannot be out that long. My niece was shocked as to how quickly my mom tired out. All of them are shocked when they see that my dad cannot get up from a sitting position by himself, yet they keep fogetting it. They also think both of my parents know who they are. My parents have no idea who any of us are. We tell them. Sometimes my mom will take me aside and ask me, so she won't hurt the person's feelings.
We keep family pictures around with the names of the people on the front, it helps my mom a lot in remembering who they all are, but she will tease my dad all the time and ask him, in front of the person, "do you know who that is?"!! She does that when she herelf doesn't know.
He stumbles and just shrugs his shoulders. I tell her its not fair!!
I address them when I walk in the house by saying "Hi daddy (or mom) its Heather". It saves them the fear and embarassement.
(1)
Report

This is a great article. Planning ahead is one of the most powerful, and yet most often overlooked, tools for Seniors and their families.
Tim
(0)
Report

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter