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Thank you for this helpful article about bladder control and urinary incontinence. Unfortunately, some people ignore symptoms and do not seek help out of embarrassment or due to misunderstandings about incontinence.

I highly recommend trying the Tranquility brand of products. The All-Through-The-Night brief with tabs is great, or if they are more mobile you can use a pull-up style diaper like the Tranquility Overnight. Both are extremely absorbent, and more absorbent than any store brand like Depends. I buy all of mine through ComfortPlusOnline.com and when you sign up for their emails you get 15% off your first purchase.

I rearranged my mother's bedroom so a portable commode is next to her bed and behind her door. I have a shoe rack hanging on back of he door with disposable chucks, pull-ups, toilet paper, small garbage bags, baby wipes. She can close the door for privacy, get up and pivot to the commode as she does not walk, clean herself, everything goes in garbage can which I empty each time, she maintains her independence, and for the moment everyone is happy.

Not trying to be a nit picker but the first sentence of this thread is wrong.
"Incontinence, the ability to hold your bladder is an embarrassing problem,"
Incontinence is the INability to hold your urine.


Nancy,
The urine probably stays warm and, if she's sitting for long periods, probably isn't aware how heavy her diaper has become. I tried to get my mom to the bathroom every two hours during the day to prevent a this. She's 94 and stage 6-7 Alzheimers. This is part of the dementia (in our case).

I have progressive MS and have become incontinent with my bladder. I find it hard to buy adult pull ups because they are so expensive. Is there any help out there for people like me.?

I read a comment where a loved one is soaked too often. My mother has a cell phone (govt issued) which I set the alarm every hour from 7 am to 7 pm. This reminds her to check herself for wetness. Another tool to help her with independence.

I re-arranged my mother bedroom so that she can close her bedroom door on her own while on her portable commode for privacy. A shoe rack with pockets hangs on the back of the door with pull ups, disposable chucks, baby wipes, baby powder, exercise tools, small garbage bags, etc. Next to this is her portable commode. Arm next to the bed is down and left rail to the hospital bed is off. A rubber exercise mat is used as a rug for no fall protection. She can stand and pivot and I can stand by for "just in case." This set up allows her independence, which from a caregiver view, is worth its weight in gold. Garbage can near commode is so Everything goes in, thereby when emptying pan, nothing is in contents to clog the main toilet.

We use MoliCare Mobile for my grandma in the UK. It's like a pull up pants but bigger and more absorbent. We started with pads that go in the pants but they weren't doing the job any more. The doc told us that the pads were why she was getting urine infections because they don't hold enough. We wanted to use something more absorbent (like a nappy / diaper) but she won't wear them. She is 91 and has bad dementia, which can lead to her getting aggressive. Until we found the pants she was, erm, hard to deal with. But since she can manage the pants her self it's been much easier, just need to stop her putting them in the washing machine.

I have a question about incontinance in the elderly. My mother will be 95 in May. I have noticed the past few days that she is not changing her pads/Depends and allowing them to become soaked; not to the point where they leak but to the point where it could cause an infection. When I asked her about it, she told me that she wasn;t aware that it was soaked.
This has me very concerned tonight, and I was wondering if any of you had experience with this kind of behavior before. She has had many issue involving cognition, but to not be aware of the wet feeling has me very worried...any advice would be so greatly appreciated! Thanks so very much ~ Nancy

it really sounds difficult, taking care of your elderly parents. my mum is taking care of my grandma she is 90. i am 36 and i want to be a care assistant my sympathy go's out to you all.

robert888 ~ I hope this helps as you helped me in an earlier post. My husband has a similar situation only he can't get out of bed or go to the bathroom without assistance. While in the hospital (many times) we've acquired plastic urinal containers/bottles that really work great for him. I carry one in the car all the time and it saves me having to get him into restrooms when traveling. He even uses it during the day as it is less messy and I can just dump it into the toilet. At night he just uses it lying on his back and I always have a bed pad under him. Then I have to get up to empty it which usually doesn't wake me that much and I often have to get up for myself anyway. Originally, he could set the container on the bedside table but he has problems sensing where things are and he can't see well so this works fine. I take it from him. We've only had a few 'accidents' where he either wasn't inside the neck of the container or one time I accidentily spilled the bottle. Anyway, it saves night trips to the bathroom which would really hinder my sleep and be difficult for both of us. I hope this helps. I'm sure you can get them from any medical supply but the hospitals supply them and you can keep them. RSuzyJ

You mother needs to wear a overnight brief. ABENA X-Plus is the most absorbent on the market. The product hold over 4000 ml of liquid and will keep your mother dry for up to 8 hours.
Check out kck medical website for information.

Good point about the bladder infections! I was totally unaware of how "crazy" a elderly person's behavior can become because of a UTI! I thought she had slipped into a deep state of dementia when my mom had a UTI! If you notice confusion, (even if it's slight) weird behavior, smelly urine get your loved one to a doctor asap to get a urinalysis! The nursing home where my mother was for rehab really didn't work at keeping her dry and she had two infections in 6 weeks! She is now in assisted living with great caretakers (what a blessing!) and I am diligent about them keeping her clean and dry. I purchased the big disposable cleansing cloths by the case so the aids can use as many as they need to in order to keep her bottom clean! She gets a tad lazy about going into the bathroom at times but who can blame her? 84 years old and very arthritic-it's a chore to just move about. I also am going to try a aloe wash specifically for perineal cleansing in hopes to keep the area clean! Thank you to all who take the time to write in suggestions! It's so nice to know I'm not alone!

I am now caring for my husband who has Parkinson's disease and his occasional incontinence during the day is being helped my many great suggestions from readers here....use of bed pads on furniture, the poise pad sounds good, and will have a doctor appointment soon to get a prostate check. So, this comment is not regarding him but I want to make a comment for all of you taking care of your wonderful moms - Bless You ALL! My mom passed away at age 86 in a nursing home situation where she also was wet much of the time through the 'depends'. The staff was not good about keeping her changed often and my sister who lived near her, did her best to visit and do laundry regularly, however, constant wetness resulted in many bladder infections and eventually she had other systemic infections as she was also diabetic. My advice is to be sure to look for signs of bladder infections if your parent is soaked often - even if only at night, and ask regularly if there is any pain when urinating or feeling of illness overall, etc. I would also like to know what a pessary is? That might have helped my mom, although prior to being in the nursing home, she had never had any urinary problems. Thanks everyone! RSuzyJ

I buy Molicare diapers for my mom, using one at night with a depend over it to keep it in place. We don't have to change bedding now except for the usual weekly routine. Molicare is more expensive but worth it, as it saves effort, water and the aggravation of nightly incontinence. http://www.molicare.org

DRIBBLING - Any ideas for dribbling?

My 86 yo father with Alzheimer's can get up at night 3-4 times to go to the toilet, but there is a trail to-and-from the toilet of dribble. He is oblivious to this, although it means a tremendous amount of mopping up and disinfectant to keep the floor clean and the room from smelling.

He is on terazosin (alpha-blocker) which has helped to increase the urine flow, and finasteride (shrinking prostrate). My understanding is that the terazosin helps to relax the bladder neck muscles, but I assume this then doesn't particularly help with the dribbling.

Asking an 86 yo man to do Kegal exercises...would be futile. He has no urinary tract infection and the dribbling and incontinence became more severe about a month ago, especially after he became weak from an flareup of an underlying bone marrow disease.

We are alternating between disposable underpants and various changing of underpants, but it is a constant and 'pun intended', quite draining on us.

I also notice that the disposable underpants really aren't very-well suited to peeing at the toilet as they so bundle up a person. Unfortunately, we can't get the more regular-brief like disposables where I live. We've tried just putting in a "strip" of absorbant cloth into regular briefs, but as you can imagine, this is also not the most convenient to change constantly.

My mother has used Depends for years and many times still leaks and for nighttme wear it's a mess. I recently tried Tranquility brand and am hoping for much better results. They are a bit spendy but supposed to absorb up to 34 ounces of liquid! I think yo can only by them online though.

Try having her wear a pull up depends and a poise pad inside. It absorbs much more with little wetness.

How come doctors don't reccomend pessarys? My mother has been to a urologist and her primary doctor knows about the problem but neither has made any mention of this device. I only recently heard about it!

If your mom's got incontinence, please make sure she's seen a gynecologist or, in difficult cases, a urogynecologist. My mom developed problems; she had 2 gynecologists differing over what pessary to use; turns out both had mis-fit her for the pessary; the urogynecologist did it RIGHT and the situation's back to almost-normal. AND REMEMBER MEDICARE PAYS FOR THIS!

Please remember that it is more important for your mom to get a good night sleep (and you as well) than to worry about a soaked depends in the morning. However, if this situation is in danger of ruining the mattress, purchase a waterproof mattress cover and for added protection use a washable crib pad as well. This is such a little thing in the scheme of life...enjoy the time you have with your mom (similar to the way she enjoyed your pre-potty years with you).

My 81 yr. old mother is doing well with 2-3 hr. potty trots. The problem is with night time incontinence. She doesn't get up in the night and the "depend" is soaked by morning.