I selected this article, because I have been caring for my partner who is no longer able to move on her own. I transfer her throughout the day, and I have a hoyer lift, but I work and do not have the time to use the lift every time I need to move her. I have been wondering if a back brace would be helpful, because I do feel spots of pressure in my lower back that I presume is pressure from lifting her. If so, what kind of back brace or belt would be most helpful in the long run. Thank you if you can offer insight into this query.
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I just read all the comments & am taken back to when my husband had a brain tumor which eventually led to his death. His family did nothing to support me & one of his friends did come out & sit with him occasionally so I could run to the store. I tried to work & had him at an ALF in the day, but finally the whole world tumbled down. The profound exhaustion & depression lasted years. How this bit of elderly people taking care of elderly people got going has me mystified. It is so hard. Now I have moved my 91 yr old Mom up with me. Things aren't so bad but I know I need to take this time to establish patterns, support services & anything else that well help me get through the long run. Sympathy to you all. Stay strong & don't be bashful about asking for help.
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mriess - Your determination to keep your mom out of a nursing home does you credit. I have a kind of agreement several years ago with my mother that if she has to go to a nursing home it will be her choice first, but I am now looking at the practical side of it. Our house is one of those small "picturesque" cottages built in 1938 and is simply not set up for dealing with an invalid without major reconstruction. When you consider hallways and doors that are too narrow for wheelchairs and only one bathroom that does not have room enough to turn a walker around, something alternative may have to be considered. I mean, unlike a lot of contributors my mom does not have dementia or alzheimers or anything like that but if I have to start carrying her around in the house, I simply cannot because I have physical problems if my own and she will have to be bedridden. As the end time approches we all are fearful of dieing alone in a strange and impersonal nursing home, but there seems to be fewer and fewer options ( I am already looking at the probability that I will) and she will become more and more reluctant to suggest it herself, and in her fear she does not really care or consider what the consequences are on me. Something is going to have to give sooner or later.
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Hi I'm Dayle from R.I. and i'm in a program where the nurse and case worker are coming out to check and see if I need help with my mom and the program is run dy the Stated of R.I. elderly affairs and they pay me for careing for my 86 year old mother who has both Alzhimers and Dementure it is a good company that I 'm with because they have compasion for the care giver and the patient. Everyone who cares for the elderly should look into this program. And yes mI am sleep deprived but I WILL NOT PUT MY MOM IN THE NURSING HOME!!!!!
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Caring for an ailing loved one is not only physically demanding but often times emotionally draining as well. In situations were the loved one suffers from Dementia or Alzheimer's sleep deprivation is not uncommon.

Individuals who feel that this may be beneficial to them should contact their States Area on Aging. The phone numbers can usually be obtained through the States Department of Social Services.

Once a request is made to the Intake Department, a they will then contact the person and conduct an initial inquiry to see if they may qualify. If they do, a Case manger will then usually come out to the home to do a more in-depth assessment in order to determine the number of hours/days and type of care that they would recommend and be able to cover through their State's program
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As a registered nurse, I thought I had it covered when I moved my 93-yr-old aunt in with me. I quickly discovered I didn't know anything either about her condition or about the changes I would have to make. I had to quit my job because my aunt can't be left alone and the adult day care where she goes doesn't open till 8. The stress got to where I began having severe dizzy spells and sky-high blood pressure. Plus, I didn't know how to manage someone with dementia. I began attending workshops, reaching out to counselors at her day care, talking to the nurses there - that was huge!They made me see that to provide care for my aunt, I would have to be in great shape. I went to a massage therapist who does crano-sacral adjustment - that was immediate relief! I got back into meditation and yoga. The day care hired me pt - it's way less than I made before, but it works a lot better for me and my aunt. And recently I added a zumba class twice weekly; my aunt goes with me once a week and the participants fuss over her, make her comfortable, and just love her (which of course she loves!). On the second day I pay a CNA to sit with her. There is still stress, still adjustments (it's been over a year now), but we're managing. Every 2 months I put her in a short-term respite care for a week - that is good for both of us! I see stressed out family members everyday at the adult day care and when I tell them about resources, about destressing, they say they're too busy, too stressed. Trust me, taking care of yourself is the best and smartest thing you can do for your loved one.
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Totally agree with the lack of sleep. It does not take too many nights to go completely bonkers.

My wife has a form of dementia and she cannot speak. Sometimes she understands me, sometimes she does not. I get her up once during the middle of the night to give her a pill. Some nights she sleeps through, other nights and even days she is pacing in the house or in the yard. When she first started pacing I called it "taking out the garbage", because she always ended up in the area where we kept the garbage and I was assuming she thought I forgot it.

She quit for about 6 months and now she is back to doing it again. Here are some of the things I have done.
We moved out of the bedroom, she sleeps on the couch and I sleep in my recliner, which is surprisingly comfortable.
I have the TV programmed for 3 days ahead to her favorite shows. Our TV is old and I assume you can do this much easier with newer TVs. I start the programming at 2:00 am because usually this is about the time she gets restless.

When she wakes up I help her into the bathroom and then ask her if she wants to go back to sleep or watch TV for awhile. If she wants to watch TV I turn it on and it goes to one of her favorite shows and I set the sleep button to an hour or two.

Sometimes it helps.

If I feel restless, I just take a melatonin table and read a book until I fall back to sleep. If she paces, I have gotten to the point where I can just ignore her.

Another thing that helps is my daughter has moved back home with us and is here at times so I can completely fall asleep at times and not worry about her.

When I get adequate sleep I feel like I can cope with anything. If I cannot, that's when I start thinking about my shack in the deep woods where the only one I have to worry about is myself.
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Icare for my 86 year old mother and she has both Dementure & Alzihmers she was diagnoied 2 years ago and I too don't get the right amount of sleep. I put locks on the doors and I'm going to put a bell on both doors so that if she tries to go out the door , I set up a baby monitor so that I can also hear her. She goes to an adult day care while I go to work at the loc al high school for three hours. My neice and I are her only caregivers at this time and we are in a carehome program here in R.I. and the team comes in once a week for 8 wks. to see how things are going then it will be once a month and they get me her supplies if I need anything and they show a lot of support with what I' m going through. My mom used to be able to do income taxes for people and she used to be a private secutary now she's having a great deal of remebering who her granddaughter and I are at times.When she speaks its very hard to understand her ,her words come out all jumbled and it frustrates her,but I try to understand her. I'm making a speach board for her so that it will be a lettle easier for her to communicate with me. Dayle from R.I.
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My biggest problem is simply lack of Rest. You note that I do not say lack of Sleep - the need to be constantly alert does not make my sleep "restful". I do not think I have had a really decent night's sleep for the last 5 years, since mom started having difficulty getting around, at night she may have to get up and go to the bathroom, sometime she can't sleep herself and likes to get up and wander around, get a snack, drink of water, whatever. I always add that Invariably a suggestion is made that perhaps a relative can help to relieve me sometime, and I always have to answer No, there is no one. I can lie down at any tme day or night and fall asleep, and do, but that does not mean I can rest.
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