My father-in-law is 97 years old. Recently his one son who lived with passed away. Now my husband, his other son and myself go over and take care of him. Such as cleaning, bathing him, doing laundry and shopping. Is there anyway that my husband could get compensated to help pay for expenses, such as gas cleaning supplies etc.

I AM A 64 YEAR OLD COLON CANCER SURVIOR. THEN I HAD 11 HERNIAS, WIYH ALL THIS IAM TAKING CARE OF MY GRAND DAUGHTER SINCE SHE WAS 8 MOS OLD. MY MOM MOVED IN WITH ME IN JAN. 2011. IT IS SOMETHING, I HAVE TO GET A SITTER FOR MOM WHEN I GO GET GROS OR TAKE MY GRAND DAUGHTER SOME WHERE.MY MOM IS 90 YEARS OLD CANT WALK VERY GOOD SO THAT IS BEING A PROBLEM BE CAUSE OF MY STOMACH. BUT I WILL NOT PUT HER IN A NURSING HOME.

When your mother gets sick or you are working hire someone to care for her while you work...there is a program that the government will help in this situation...this person is called a caregiver...or sitter...but you need to inform your self by calling them...they will use some of her medicad/medicare benifits...I use to be a caregiver...there is also a meals on wheels that can bring her her meals daily...you will be surprise how much help the government has out there for you and your mother...that will releave you of a lot of stress...I do not know what state you are from but this I know is that the government has these programs everywhere in every state in the USA...

I have been caring for my mother for sixteen years now.  Recently she has been diagnose with pulmonary fibrosis and COPD and her dementia has gotten much worse. She has been given months to a year to live. 

Due to the economy i have not been able to find a job in my field for three years, all my retirement is gone.  I decided to go back to school and become a Certified Nurses Aid,  I was going to school, working and was able to bring my mother with me to work before all this happened.  

I have quit school and working to care for her 24/7, are there any tax breaks when you have to quite working and have become a full time caregiver for your parents?

I am 64, will have to start all over when Mom is gone and I am dealing with stress and burnout. I need some good news, something to look forward to and hope.

is there any benefits for a wife that takes care of her husband in the state of mississippi?

I am 24/7 care giver, that gets little breaks. My question is: Auntie is 87 and her health is failing fast. We don't want heroics. But, she hears a popping in her head a lot. 2-4 pops at a time and every few minutes. What is it? (smile) please help...Thanks Megan

Already been through everything here. I found the best help was to take the elder to the Social Security Office. First, set up an appointment, of course. Bring all financial paperwork. Go through everything together. Explore all possibilites. Need to take notes, and maybe call different agencies to get statements or letters.

To those of you who are caring for a parent in your home without receiving compensation you have a couple of options. First, you can request a nursing home screening from your local DSS and Health Department. If eligible, you will be able to access community based in home services. These servcies can pay for things like aids to come in and assist with housekeeping, bathing, cooking meals, supervising medication etc. Some aids can perform more skilled care under the direct supervision of a RN. You can also see if your family member is eligible for Medicaid that would pay for actual nursing home or assisted living placement. Be aware though that with Medicaid funding you may not be able to choose the provider (facility) of your choice.

I had cancer in 2004 and when will I qualify for life insurance?

To RMONTES, If your stepfather is receiving a VA pension, he might be eligible for what is called "aid and attendance" to help with his care. Call you local VA office and check with them. Good luck. They are lucky to have you and you are wonderful for caring about them!

My two elderly parents live with me. My mother is eighty and step-father 85, who is a ww2vet. I cannot hold a full time job because I have to also give some care and necessary attention to them, in which I do not mind. I'm also attempting to attend college. Is there some type of aid in which I may receive help with at least the rent payment. My parents pension and social security is very small and I have difficulties with a full time job and school.

I agree with CJWright. I am not asking for anything that I haven't already paid for in taxes, etc. Those of us who are caring for a loved one at home are saving the gov't and other tax paying citizens probably millions of dollars! And what is our government doing with those savings??? Look around!! Yes, I chose to quit my job and my life to stay at home and care for my Mother. I don't regret that decision at all but times are tough and getting tougher. The amount of money that I and other caregivers would need on any given month to make ends meet is nothing compared to the waste in our government(remember the toilet seats!).

I am so TIRED of seeing all the benefits the PARENT can get, when there is nothing directly for the CAREGIVER. In most states, caregivers cannot legally be paid to care for a relative. I've been caregiving my mother for 7.5 years 24/7 (cept for 4 hrs day at senior center...they get $100 day!). I get $10 day (and lucky to get that) and room/board. I don't qualify for anything except a digital converter box on our TV set.

WHEN WILL CAREGIVERS GET DIRECT HELP? Since we are saving society so many billions of dollars...the public guardian said...and I am not kidding..."you are gaining good Karma!"

Perhaps we can be "condemned" as deranged so WE can qualify as disabled. Someone who is enslaved to a feeble 90-year-old with Alzheimers is definitely disabled too. Imagine running a two legged race with such a person. That is what it is like every day.

I am finding that

Nu1daughter- I think she can if you are living with her. Call a H&R block or any tax company near you, they should give you advice with no charge to you.

Ive taken care of my 80 year old mom for 3 years and not working. Used up my savings. Can she claim me as a dependant this year as she has provided all the finance, food and shelter for us both from her s/s and retirement?

Nyasha, I don't know where you live but most cities and counties have agencies that can help somewhat with housing, med care, etc. I would check with the local Dept of Human Resources first. If you cant find where that dept is in your town, go the the local Chamber of Commerce or City Hall (Mayor's Office) and someone should be able to point you in the right direction. God bless you and good luck. Just know that you are doing the right thing by helping your dad in every possible way you can. We are all going to get old and need help one day, if we live long enough!!!

My dad is 60 , sick and disable.He has been admitted to the hospital 3 time s already for this year only.Things are very difficult for me right now and I am left with the responsibilities of taking care of my dad. I am working but the thing is I just received my green card for the states and is trying to get on my feet. I have no kids, 30 years old , his only child and my dad has NOTHING.No money in savings,only get a disability check and a lot of bills. It is hard to find a place to live . It is just so difficult now.I need help ASAP. I don't know how to take care of my dad with nothing. Someone please give a advise and keep us in your prayers please. Thanks in advance.

To Brennybb, If he is receiving disability payments from Social Security or a private insurance plan, someone had to ok that claim. Maybe you can find out how the disability was diagnosed and proven to the satisfaction of the agency he receives the disability pension from and go from there. Good luck.

Call medicare. If you dont qualify explain the situation and see if they can review his case and at least send out a case worker to label him as officially disabled.

My husband retired 5 years ago due to deteriorating of discs in his back and neck. his Dr removed some out of his neck and said the other ones got worst as he went down. He said he could no longer work and he gets disability we tried getting him a wheel chair because it is hard for him to stand or to walk more than a few feet but his Dr refused to sign the paper work because he didn't diagnose his disability.

He really needs that hoverround to be able to get out of the house. please advise!

I agree with pintos I have to say. We are spending lots to help other citizens of other countries. Why shouldn't we help those families (law abiding, american, tax paying citizens) that have given up everything to care for their loved ones, and who risk losing everything they and their parents have worked for all their lives? Will the government care for our parents while they are institutionalized? Will they care what the quality of care given to them is, when they run out of money and assets?

wakeupamerica, Well when most of us decide to have children and become parents, thats a choice that we have made thats our decision. But when our parents become disabled sometimes overnight and need to be cared for thats not our decision nor a choice its just life that happens, and some parents do n ot want to be put in a nursing home and when your the only child of theirs that will care for them then that responsibility falls on you and you have no choice. Some of us had prior jobs and had to quit so we could care for them, thats why we should be compinsated for what we are doing! we still have our bills to pay and life still goes on. So if you have a problem with that then there is something wrong! I love my parents that is why I am caring for them but I cant do that if I have to go back to work. They would die if they had to be put in a home so I think you are wrong. Pintos

The web is wonderful isn't it? Thank goodness for cordless phones too! LOL Keep fingers crossed.

Nauseated- though hours of web searches and many phone calls there might be hope. One site said to call my sate reps. So I have a call into them. Lets cross our fingers and hope they know of something.

ikirby, I can sympathize with your situation. We are also living on unemployment which does not cover the bills, and only lasts so long. Also caring for my father age 74. It is sad the way the system is set up. I also must exhaust all of my dad's assets in order to pay for his assisted living soon. Your dad is lucky he is still able to work. I guess it takes a lot of research to find the answers to these difficult questions. Maybe you and your family could move in with your parents. Or maybe they could downsize, to where things are more manageable. Or maybe.......Oh well, if you find some answers let me know, I could use some too. Good Luck to you! Naus

I am 24 years old with a four year old son. I am taking care of my diabled mother who is only 52. She was an RN and sufferd a series of major strokes. I have been told I cant get paid to take care of her because they own a house, two cars, camping trailor, and have life insurance and my dad has a retirement account. The state wants them to have sold EVERYTHING and cashed in their RETIERMENT before they will even consider paying me for taking care of her. I take care of her 50 hours a week while my dad works so they can keep their house and pay for food. I drive her to her therapys, give medicen, and do house work. How can I get paid for this? My parents are struggling just to pay for food. I cant ask them to pay me. But I need an income. My husband was laid off and unemployment only last so long. Im stuck.

I am getting burnout I got to paid for expense in another state. I also got to help pay expense at my mom house who have alzheimer and we are struggling to eat everyday because our funds is low. we both get ssi but that not enough. so please tell me how i can keep care for my mom with no help. Please help me if anyone know of programs that can help us.

In many cases, I feel the person asking for pay are having a hard time being able to make ends meet. I don't know that it is necessarily being paid to take care of a loved one, as much as simply loosing or quitting their jobs to do home care.
Unfortunately these things are not planned for or talked about with family before it becomes necessary.And yes that part is our responsibility. But I applaud families that try to keep loved ones out of nursing homes, as the government is surly not doing their job in that situation.
Times are very hard and yes to some extent we got ourselves here, but to ask for some sort of compensation because caregivers can not work out of the home is not unreasonable.
And I'm sorry to say my late father made me feel guilty and shamed for every dime he ever had to spend on me growing up. And I took care of him the last 8 years of his life for no pay.
So there is two sides to this story. My hope is that you read other posts that also tell of the sacrifices most make to keep family members at home.One of my dear friends on this sight lost a job opportunity because a "paid" caregiver did not hold up her end of the contract. And I'm sure the "pay" was coming out of her pocket.
This sight is here for us to come together to support each other without judgment or shame. Take what you need and leave the rest. There are some very wonderful people on this sight that have saved my sanity, made me laugh, made me cry, and given me insight to deal with issues as they come up.
We can not know what some go thru and they may have difficulty expressing themselves. Bottom line.......Caregiving is one of the most difficult jobs in life, and there should be no shame in asking for compensation. Thank you for sharing how you feel and I hope you keep coming back here and let us know who you take care of and some of your ups and downs. God bless

To ginger123: Your last statement is exactly why our government won't pay family caregivers to care for loved ones...because they are inept at what they do. And while the cost to maintain a loved one at one is far cheaper than LTC, I still am alarmed by the number of people that expect to be compensated for caring for their parents!!!! Sorry, my parents didn't "expect" compensation from the government when they were raising their children. As a former welfare worker and now working in the aging field; FDR's new deal program in the 30's went very different than he intended. It's led our society to feel that you can live as irresponsibly as you want, and the govt. will bail you out one day.