I am caring for my wife with Alzheimer's. I believe she is fairly far advanced. Sundowning was in 2011, which has stopped. Now eating is not important - she weighs about 110 - down from 160 in 2010. Sometimes she remembers me and 5 minutes later she doesn't. Showering and other personal grooming is basically non-existent. I force the issue. Here now brush. Or you need to take a shower - today! She sleeps about 20 hours a day.

The big question I have is how do I know when is the right time for her to move to a home where professionals (not an amateur like me) are caring for her?

A second and somewhat related question is this. Are me limited skills causing more harm to her?

She is on Aricept and Namenda XR.

How long do the stages last can for instance stage 6 last several years? My mother is I believe stage 6 she has most of the signs although I think she bounces back and forth between 5 and 6. She just recently went into an ALS , but after less than a month declined so much that she is now in the memory care section locked down. This disease sucks period. I rather my mother have cancer than Alzheimer's.

it is nice to know what stages there are but my husband must be in his latest stage but I know that he sometimes knows what I am saying to him and sometimes I get a correct reply so I find it strange sometimes to know what stage he is at

It is very true but in my case my wife has been in secure part of home for 3 weeks.she has never been one to complain however she thinks I do not love her anymore and that I want to move on with my life .up until a opening in the home came up we still enjoyed each other yes sex and going out for meals etc. last nite daughter was there at bed time and asked her if she wanted to get ready for bed and she replied yes so you can get rid of me ( so sad it made us cry) I may have to try and bring her home for a nite or two a week maybe like going to the cottage but do not know how that may work when it's time to returne it's seems so cruel to leave her there full time.has anyone (husbands) had any experience doing this . ( need help)

Twinflower1, even though your aunt has the diagnosis of Alzheimer's it is very possible she has some other kind of dementia, either instead of ALZ or along with it. The difference between what doctors diagnose and what is found in the brain upon autopsy is amazing.

My husband got weaker and weaker at the end, became less interested in eating, and slept a lot. When he was awake he was pleasant, seemed more lucid than he had been for a while, and was not in pain. Hospice gave me the drug pack for him but I never had to use the morphine. I did use the anxiety med a couple of times after asking him if he wanted it. The Hospice nurse had immediate remedies for discomforts and irritants. The day he died my husband ate breakfast, read the paper, and slept most of the day. He was restless in the evening and I read to him for a little while. He continued to be restless. We exchanged I love you and he died holding my hand.

The end is different for each person. I am confident that you will get through it, because you love your aunt, and that eventually your loving memories of her will outweigh the trauma of her last days, if they are traumatic.

I appreciated this article, but I wonder about my Aunt with dementia. I can't quite see her in any of these stages exactly. She's never wandered. Something was wrong about eight years ago. Now she isn't oriented and needs help with tasks except eating. She can remember her childhood doll's name. She wouldn't be able to tell you what year it is. She never did get agitated and aggressive or try to escape. There's no way she could decide anything. I give her choices and she chooses, but it's a huge effort to make the connections and come up with an answer. She forgets what's just been said.
I don't really know what to think about it all. There is some kind of dementia, but she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. which is so different from my stepfather who had it as well. My Aunt did hide things and then think they were lost.
She does sundown occasionally, which is usually increased confusion, but nothing aggressive, or unexpected.
She has some episodes of confusion during the day.
Does anybody have any idea where she is on the scale? She is very healthy physically. I have to tell you that I'm worried about her last days. My stepfather lost consciousness and was healthy physically, so they stopped all water and food and drugged him for pain and after eight days he died. I understand the thinking behind this, but it was hell for me. I am so afraid they will do this to my Aunt and I am much closer to my Aunt and would find this unbearable. I don't know where I will get the strength or if I will be able to recover from the experience. My Aunt's advance directive is for the doctor to make the decisions.
What are other ways Alzheimer's patients die besides the way my stepfather died?

Oregongirl, more than a century ago, a researcher was studying autopsied brains of persons who had had Parkinson's, and he discovered the presence of clumps of protein that looked very different that what his colleague Alzheimer found in the brains that he was studying. These clumps are called "Lewy bodies" after the name of the researcher who discovered them.

Now we know that these protein bodies can cause either the physical symptoms of Parkinson's or the cognitive symptoms of a dementia that got named Dementia with Lewy Bodies. It depends on where the clumps are. My husband had mainly the cognitive symptoms but also milder Parkinson-like physical problems. For others, the physical symptoms come first and if they also develop dementia symptoms they are very like the kind of dementia called Dementia with Lewy Bodies.

Not everyone who has Parkinson's disease also develops dementia. But it dementia does develop it makes sense to have a hard look at whether it might be Lewy Body. Persons with Parkinson's could also develop another kind of dementia, of course. But in your situation I would definitely talk to the neurologist about LBD.

I don't know what Lewy Body Dementia is.... Is it Parkinson??? The doctor just won't approve a wheelchair. BUT, we are seeing a neurologists now about every two months. I am going to ask him about the wheelchair. It is often difficult to talk to the doctors honestly as my partner is always sitting there and I feel like we are talking and acting like he is not even in the room. I may ask if he has a number I can call and have a personal talk with him. But, doctors don't usually do this.

Oregongirl, About 40% of all dementia patients do not have Alzheimer's, but some other kind of dementia, and those may not follow the same progression that Alzheimer's typically does. Even among Alzheimer's patients, not everyone follows the "stages" exactly. So it is not surprising you can't pinpoint a stage.

My husband fell several times a day early in his Lewy Body Dementia. He hated the walker -- it just fell down with him and didn't prevent falls. But he LOVED the wheel chair. It gave him a new lease on life. He could actually get around the house without fear of falling. Best of all, his Lewy Body Dementia specialist came up with a med that stopped the falling! I sure hope your partner can see a specialist who doesn't give up easily and knows everything there is to know about Parkinson's and the associated dementias. It can make a huge difference.

I cannot figure out what stage my partner is in. I just know he falls a lot. He uses a walker and the doctor does not want a wheel chair just yet. But, I may have to put my foot down on that one. But, knowing my partner, he will have to be strapped in and he will not like that at all. He fell last night as he was transferring from his walker to his chair. Fortunately, he fell on the soft cushion of the chair and a heavy blanket that fell on the floor. After a couple of hours, I thought maybe he had a stoke. I know you are suppose to get help early in a stoke, but I thought about it many hours after his incident. I will let the doctor know, but the doctor has sort of given up on any preventative care at this point. Pills Pills Pills are all that he recommends. By the way, does anyone else keep a log of the pills you give? Boy, I have to....I also made a list of what each pill was for so that I could better understand his behavior if possible. He falls so much...I just have to stay close to him at all times.

My great grandmother is heading into stage six. My grandma is about to go nuts since she is the one taking care of her. They never take action into getting her into senior care. People say shes not going back into another aggresive stage but i dissagree. She ruins my friday nights bevause i have to watch her. She constantly wanders and goes around picking tiny pieces of lint off the floor and closes all doors in the house. Not to mention in the mornings it takes her around four hourse to get dressed, put her teeth in and do her makeup adding on to the one hour time frame it takes her to eat a meal. My grandparents have so much on their plate getting ready to sell 3 houses but they cant live their life because one of them has to be with her at all times. We cant take her anywhere because she gets tired to fast and walks the pace of a snail. We love her but shes been living with my grandparents since the end on december. We are losing it and i am getting mad. Any suggestions?

I have been dealing with this disease in my mother for years now and still read so I can stay informed if there are any "NEW" ideas. It is a very heart wrenching job, however, I would not have it any other way. Thank you for a different read for me.

Kenonutty, the stages are not "rules" that the disease follows. They are just a description of how progression usually occurs. Individual cases can vary a lot.

Can a person go from a stage 3 or 4 to a stage 7 , skipping stages 5-6?

I have found this article very useful explaining the different stages. my mother has had a lifestyle of heavily drinking since my father passed away. In 2009 my mother made a irrational legal decision of which family members have questioned as being out of character for my mother, during the times that my mother was drinking she experienced mood changes, argumentative etc. my mother has spent 6 weeks in hospital and has been termed as end of life we did not think that she was going to live. This week my mother has been transferred to a nursing home, my mother's diagnosis is moderate/serious Alzheimers, Vascular dementia damage to brain caused by alchohol with Liver damage with B12 defiency I am trying to find out how long the different stages of her condition would of been noticed and how long each stage takes. Is my mother more than like to die from the liver damage or from Alzheimers/dementia?

Being a director of nurses in a long-term care facility and a nurse aide instructor it is difficult trying to get the staff and students to understand this disease process. This article has help me to understand better therefore I can help my caregivers. Thank you for the breakdown. Juliua

yes he was diagnosed with alzheimers. thank you

klinds64, was your father diagnosed specifically with Alzheimer's, or with "dementia"? About 40% of all dementia patients do not have Alzheimer's, but some other kind of dementia, and those may not follow the same progression that Alzheimer's typically does. Even among Alzheimer's patients, not everyone follows the "stages" exactly. I am so glad that he is sweet and kind, and hope he continues that way.

my father was diagnosed three years ago with alzheimers. thankfully he is not combative or wandering. he is very sweet and kind, which has always been his nature. he does get a little agitated if he thinks any of us are upset with the other or we ask too many questions, even though we aren't asking him. but he does sleep a lot. he doesn't have sundowners. he naps most of the day and sleeps all night. so can someone tell me what stage this might happen in. looking at all the stages, he seems to be in stage six, but doesn't have all the symptoms of stage six. like I said he doesn't have sundowners, wanders or wrings his hands or stuff like that.

This is a good article. My mom has been in stage 7 for at least a year, unable to speak, and all of her physical abilities are gone. She stopped eating last week and refused anything by mouth and so slowly she was shutting down. My father refused to accept this and put her into the hospital for IV help and now tomorrow she is getting a feeding tube put into her stomach. From what I find in articles this is not a good thing for Alzheimer's patients. My brother and I do not want it and yet my sister and father do, since he has the power, we cannot stop it. I am feeling like I've let my mom down and I weep with pain and hurt for her.

My mother, 88, now in a NH, has had dementia for a number of years. It seems to me that "dementia" is a blanket term covering mind/memory loss caused by different things. In my mother's case she's had Parkinsons for 17 years, a number of strokes over those years plus many falls. After breaking a hip a year ago and having another stroke a few months ago (the hospital returned her to the NH deemed "palliative") she cannot sit up or stand and stays in her room, either in bed or her wheelchair, with the door closed, refusing to attend activities or try to make a friend or two (which she always has), just fantasizing and obsessing over everything and nothing. Her speech is poor and she mostly can't find the words. just a few in short bursts. Staff must stand over her or she hides her meds. A vegetarian, she eats little and weighs less than my Labrador. I tried taking her lunch but she eventually refused it.

Recently she's insistent that she can get from bed to wheelchair to bathroom and won't ring the call bell for assistance. Of course the bed alarm goes of and staff come running which, being a narcissist, delights her. I've researched this thing to pieces but I can't find a prognosis. It's only a matter of time before she has another stroke or ends up on the floor again badly injured.

My best friend has dementia and the onset of alzheimer's. Sometimes when I talk to her on the phone she say's thinks that are very confusing and I get very upset and cry. It is very difficult to see her like this. The last time I visited her, she left me in the room and went and sat at a table in the living room. I went out and said goodbye, gave her a hug and cried my eyes out in the car. I ask the lord to bless the people going through this and to cure them of the disease and to give their families courage to handle this.

My mom has been in the late stages of alzheimer's for a couple years now. She was on hospice for 15 months..until they discharged her because she stopped declining. For the entire time she was on hospice, she refused to eat, although, we were able to get her to drink Ensure part of the time. For the past couple weeks, she has began eating food again and even recognizes me occasionally, something she hasn't done in probably 2 years! I didn't realize patients symptoms ever got better. Her's have only gotten worse since she was diagnosed 5 years ago. Is this normal?

I hardly sleep, i tried to read this, i started getting a headache trying to read it. I forget stuff a LOT. I'm constantly trying to find something to do to keep me busy. I can't sleep because I want to be involved in something. When i lay down at night to sleep, i can't stop thinking what i'm going to do, is my husband going to be mad at me, when i haven't done nothing wrong. i forget all the time. last week i know we enjoyed the day, but i can't remember who was over to visit. what's wrong with me?

what is the best way to bath a alzheimer patient who is afraid of water, they fight back.

If people die eventually as a result of Alzheimers....is there a typical or statistical timeframe that one can expect and prepare for in potential loss of someone so dear to us? :( I am temporarily in another country, and tho I call my Mom still regularly timezone constraints permitting sigh...I worry so much constantly about losing her in every aspect ie mentally, emotionally, physically etc. I am having a very hard time knowing that she is so confused and feeling abandoned as she has no recall of what wound up placing her in an assisted living facility and blames my poor older sister who fought like crazy to get mom the help and security/safety she needs. Its heartbreaking, and I have the utmost respect and admiration for my sister in that her facing the brunt of Mom's disillusionment and paranoia, and bitterness (not characteristic of her prior to this) my sister knowing the likeliehood of being considered "the enemy" by our mother...selflessly went through hell to find whats best for mom. To me that is the ultimate in unconditional love, knowing that you will receive back animosity and misplaced anger, and possibly not be able to salvage the relationship. She loves our mother deeply and is willing to take on the false accusations and abandonment issues, all for the good of her mother. That is pure love, expecting nothing in return. And she continues to monitor moms adaptation to this assisted living home via the director and nurses over moms care.

NO he does not write anymore. As for the face...I know when he doesn't like something he eats!! Makes a face like a baby. I use my hands alot when I talk, maybe describing pouring something, or pointing at my body or his, etc. But he does not seem to have the ability, no more than one thing or thought at a time. I would love to hear him talk about the past since we did not marry but 9 years ago. I would love to hear about his life as a child, his time in service and Viet Nam. I guess each of us caregivers have our complaints. We look at others and think Gee I wish I had that problem rather than the one I have. As I said, it could be so much worse.

Can he write or point or make expressive faces? It's so hard when there is no concrete communication. Maybe a simplified sigh language?

Another comment....my husband suddenly wouldnt eat. Didnt want food he would eat before, anytime and all the time. He was losing weight, and I was trying everything. Doc put him on medicine "to increase his appetite". It was depression med. For some reason, after 3 weeks, he seems to be more aware. Eats 4 or 5 times a day now. When I talk to him, he stops what hes doing and looks at me. Not a drug to repair the damage, but a drug that has made ME a little happier.

My husband cannot communicate. His ability to say words started to go before diagnosis 4 years ago. Now he just makes noises...lots of eh eh eh like a baby. I do not know how far along he is because he doesnt talk. Very hard...dont know what he wants, or would like, or if he hurts, etc. Very difficult when he wants something but just makes noises, looks at me for a reply I guess. But I can leave him alone, he does bathroom things on his own, showers with alot of prodding! It could be worse in my house. Just wish he could talk.