I'm getting fired up over this issue. Agencies decide who gets what kind of help with respite. MANY of us don't have friends, family, neighbors, fellow parishioners to step up and provide respite. We are at the mercy of what some Agency decides is warranted - where, when, how long...Meanwhile, some of us are reaching the end of our rope. Respite is not one size fits all - and Senior Day Care, for me, is not much respite. Some of us do work (I do from home), so a few hours during the work day does not qualify as respite. Now, give me a weekend to regroup, and I'd be happy - but that's not a covered benefit or at least accessible benefit (admitted by mom's "Alternative Care" case worker) despite it "being available". I want to put pressure on the Agencies who allocate where the Federal funding goes. If we're assigned a budget - let the caregiver decide what respite fits their needs - even if it doesn't cover 100%.

We had success with day programs. I needed the respite so I signed her up and she loved it. Regarding agencies, I love the checklist. This is important because at the last minute it might not be your loved one's "favorite." We had the whole range: loving and responsible, to one who brought her son to sleep over with her and another who left his bottle of bourbon in the cabinet!

Great to read this today. My sister gave me a weekend away with my husband, but now my husband wants a longer time away with me-10 days. I'm resisting, because I know my mom will not like it and I'm not sure I can find help for that long. My sister works every weekday and every other weekend, so she can only help for a few days at a time. My mom has long term health care and we are working on setting that in place, so it's probable I could get help there, but again, I am faced with my mom's unhappiness, so I feel guilt, for my mom and for my husband...we are in our 60s and one never knows what could happen to either of us before we get the chance to spend more time together. So these articles help in getting me to start really thinking about it, planning it and pulling it together....

I noticed in one of comments below someone said insurance does not cover Adult Day Care. This is not entirely true, long term care insurance can be set up to pay for Adult Day Care. My parent's policy has paid for my fathers Adult Day Care at $800/month for six years and this has helped us tremendously!!

This is excellent info to have on hand at all times, especially if hospitalized.

No, insurance does not cover Adult Day Care. Our local Asst. Living facility offers 1/2 day and full day options with pick up and delivering and 3 meals included. About $100 for the full day - Half day is $50. We would love to have my MIL spend time there but she absolutely refuses. :0( They offer sittercize classes, games, chaperoned excursions, etc.

We may avail ourselves of their services for a week very soon if her son does not take her home with him for a week. We are going to Cancun for a week. We have decided it is our turn. She WILL go to Asst. Living that week if her son fails to keep his promise (again!). We have already made our 'back up plan' because we will be 'out of town' - can't wait! :0) Maybe then she will realize these are not wicked people. Maybe she will realize that it just might be fun to do some of the activities and listen to music and play games and discuss things with someone their own age - from her own generation. If anyone has figured out a way to convince a stubborn parent to give Adult Day Care a try - would sure love to hear how you did it. :0)

Is any covered by insurance? I am looking for someone for my mom that insurance might cover.

it depends on what kind of care you are looking for. Some are free (volunteers or signing up with a senior advocacy group and getting put on a waiting list---state funded, or through Medcaid programs for set hours), if it's an adult day care..you're looking for one person, maybe as low as 400 to as high as $1000 or more (like regular day care for children). Agencies charge around $20-25/hr. You can find some for less but those are hard to come by.

How much does it costs for respite care?