Any comments or advice about this would be appreciated. I really don't think there is anything that can be done. Maybe he should see a psychiatrist and be placed on a medication to help him snap out of it and function better. He has been to psychiatrist's before, but his has not changed him at all. People don't change much.....they get worse.

My father, since he was a young man, has always been very accident prone. He acts like he is in his own world. If there a a pothole he steps in it, if there is a sheet of ice he slips on it etc. He is not aware of his surroundings and hence has had many accidents, one of which almost got him killed. He was riding his bike, probably drifted off into his own world and did not see a car the blew a stop sign. He was hit head on, flew over the car, and luckily he just suffered a concussion. He is very depressed, has very poor judgement, and solves problems in a way that is different than most. I think he has a mental illness that was never diagnosed. Maybe attention deficit disorder, or a form of Scizophrenia. He does things in a very strange way. Ever since I was a child he has been falling off of ladders, tripping on curbs, losing his money. One problem after another. So his problems are NOT related to old age. He is just simply "out of it" and walks around in a fog. He has gotten many tickets for blowing stop signs and speeding. When I asked him what happened he always says, " I didn't see the sign". He has said this dozens of time. He never sees the sign or anything else and may hit a kid on a bike or a pedestrian. I am fed up with this. I called the DMV. They told me to file a report saying that he should not be driving because he has poor attention, does not see well, has very poor judgement/common sense and this has been going on his WHOLE LIFE. I went to the DMV with him and they made him take a road test. He flunked badly. Blew a stop sign, went 45mph down a residential street(he has no sense of speed), and also made a wide turn(he has had many sideswipe accidents). They suspended his license for 30 days. He has to retake the exam, go to driving school for 5 hours(which ofcourse costs money), and retake the road test. He says he failed the road test because "the weather was bad". It was an overcast day, but he would have failed on a sunny day or any day. No the problem is, is that his functioning is impaired. He is mentally ill... I don't feel mentally ill people should be behind the wheel. He has almost gotten himself killed from all of his falls just walking around. I am afraid he might hit someone while driving. He is of course very pissed at me. But he has an impairment and I wanted to give him a wake up call. He is still driving with his license suspended. When he had a license he never took it with him anyway. He could get locked up for this. My feeling at this point is.... if that happens too bad. He is extremely accident prone in and outside of a car and create problems all the time. Every time he has an accident it is $500 for the deductible, the money he blows on tickets, the money he blow on gas. If he does not drive it will save thousands of dollars over the next few years. I hope he does NOT get his license back. He still drives locally to get food. If he gets pulled over, he may get locked up or get ticketed for unlicensed operation. He is a sick man and needs something to help him snap out of his world. Maybe medication or something. But he needs to be neurologically tested. He also has very poor memory, always has since he was young. He comes across a a nice guy, but he is really the biggest smuck on the planet. He never can say no. Let's the world take advantage of him. He is also a passive aggressive. Deep down he is very angry, but was raised not to express it. So he does strange things to sabatage you. He also loses him money on a regular basis. He pulls out a twenty to pay for something, 40 dollar will fall the floor and he will walk away. He doesn't count his money, and routinely loses things. I think he is going to end up in jail if he continues to drive or hitting someone. He has always had these mental health problems but now on top of that he does not see well. He sees nothing wrong with his driving. He says, "things happen". Not like to him. I have also threatened to call the police if he continues to take the car out without a license. I know this is cold blooded and ruthless, but I am sending a message. I hoped for many years he would change, get better etc. No he will always be a smuck and half out of it. And will always cause problems. He's a dagwood bumstead. The bumbling flumbler. I saw him on the line at the DMV. He has a scar in the front of his head from one fall, a scar on the back from another, and he drops his paperwork. The guy is a mess! And should never drive again. I have threatened with bodily harm if he ever goes near my car. As he has taken my car out, knowing he shouldn't, and the car comes back with bumper damage and a blow clutch. For a impaired guy he does like to get around. But he causes a lot of problems when he gets around. I think I am going to have to call the police on him, and perhaps have him put away. This will solve a lot of problems. The guy is a weak, meak sick man. He has no business behind the wheel or even walking down the street. He might trip on a soda can.

Can an Assisted Living Facility in the State of NJ take my parents license away?

Inbetween you did the right thing my mother had to stop driving after her nephews had an accident with her car but she had had 2 monor accidents herself one a hit and run-I think the other driver probably should not have been driving either-my sister lives near her and has the final say-if it had been me she would have stoped long before if she got angery so what she never liked me anyway-but to thouse who think their parents should not drive what are you waiting for them to kill themselves or others. My late husband's aunt was driving well into her 90's with her family living close by-she was shopping one day and her pocketbook was stolen out of her shopping cart while she was looking for meat to buy and had all her important papers in it plus her good jewlery and she was so upset she had an auto accident and was hurt badly and died soon after the man she hit was not badly hit-they will get up set but is better than them getting lost or having a bad accident.

I had a friend years back that had some mental problems. She hit a pole in her driveway will I was in the car. I told her she was going to hit it if she did what she was doing. She had 3 kids and I was afraid she would kill them. I got under her hood when she went in the house and pulled her plug wires out. After she got help I told her what I did. She thanked me. I think maybe I will do this to my mothers car. She dosn't have the money to fix it. Maybe it will save someone life.

My father-in-law has some cognitive decline and vision changes that we knew were making it dangerous for him to drive. He insisted on driving anyway. We decided to rely on outside experts. We told him about a company who charges about $300 for in-depth testing of a senior's driving capabilities. We got him to agree that the test results would be the final word on his driving. Prior to spending the $ on the full test, we took him to an occupational therapist who did some preliminary testing at a much lower cost. With the kind of physical testing the therapist used, she was able to demonstrate to my father-in-law exactly why he shouldn't be driving. When he saw how poorly he did on tests such as reaction time and peripheral vision and she explained consequence scenarios to him that could result from those specific deficiencies, he willingly gave up his keys. We arranged for multiple transportation options for him and he hasn't looked back.

Please pardon my typos. I meant he has a valid insurance card in the glove, but picked out one of the expired ones. Either he didn't look at it, or he couldn't see the date on the card. Either way his functioning is impaired. I contacted the DMV and they told me to fill out a form and explain what the problems are. I don't know what is going to happen. They may force him to see a doctor or psychologist. His vision will be tested. Because of me his license may forever be taken. He just is a strange guy, who does things differently than most people. Add to that his poor eyesight, poor judgment and poor problem solving ability and you are going to have many problems. He has always been(since a young man) an "accident waiting to happen." If there is a pot hole, he steps in it. If there is a curb, he trips on it. He is, and has always been, in his OWN WORLD. He was in the city and for some reason started taking pictures of a homeless man. The homeless man mugged him. A person with better judgment would not have bothered with the homeless man in the first place. He is dangerous to the public and too himself. What can be done? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated? Thank you. I am at wits end. I can't stand by and watch this go on any longer. Please help.

My father is 84. He has macula degeneration, does not see well and falls down a lot. He has always been very accident prone since he was a young man. I believe he suffers from mental health problems, and walks around like he is in a "fog". This is NOT old age. He has always been in his own world. Since a young man he has always been extremely accident prone and clumsy. If there is a pot whole is steps into it. If there is a sheet of ice, he slips on it. He is not aware of his environment and therefore does not get out of the way of these obstacles. He recently blew a stop sign. He does this very often. Also he drives very strangely. He will drive slowly, then speed up into a stop sign. Sometimes he stops at the sign, sometimes he blows right through it. He also takes very round able indirect routes to get to his destination. He has always done things in a strange way. He admits he is depressed, and always has been. But I think he suffers from a more severe mental illness. He has poor memory, poor eyesight, and is extremely accident prone. He gets into Minor car accidents frequently and get citations often. He gets into the car, turns on his music and "goes into his own world". I told him he is a strange guy who does things differently than most people. He went into a rage and started attacking me. I had to call the police. I lost my job and am currently at home. Bad situation. So I see all of this first hand. Every months it is something else with this guy. Last month he slipped on some ice and had to go to the hospital to get a cut stitched up. He needs a knee replacement because he has fallen many times and his ligaments in his knee are torn up. He has always been extremely clumsy and accident prone, even when he was a young man. I believe he is suffering from some kind of mental illness. Maybe it's a mild form of Schizophrenia. I just know normal people are not this accident prone. As he has gotten older, of course it has gotten worse. He doesn't think anything is wrong. He says, "accidents happen". No there has always been something wrong with him. His judgment and problem solving ability is not like other peoples. He routinely speeds and blows through stops signs. He also NEVER carries his license with him. He says he is afraid he is going to lose it. Also he was asked to present his insurance card. There were 3 expired ones in the car, and one up to date one. He gave the one of these expired ones. Either he couldn't read it(because of poor eyesight), or he didn't even bother to look. This to me is someone who is very impaired. The money spent on traffic tickets, paying the deductible to get the car repaired($500) to the insurance company is ridiculous. I don't like how he throws away his money and I feel it is dangerous for him to be on the road. He has always been withdrawn and in his own world. Now he had medical problems on top of his psychological problems. He can't see a sign until he is right on top of it. But by then it is too late. I contacted the DMV and filled out a form to have him checked out. They may end up pulling his license because they feel he is too impaired. I just can't sit by and watch this happen anymore. He is a very strange, messed up, and clumsy guy. It is just getting worse with age. I do not have any power of attorney, any suggestions...... I just can't live like this anymore with him creating all these problems. Every months it is something else. It's like having to take care of a retarded kid.

Mom could not renew her license because of her Primary progressive aphasia.
legally she cannot drive; but, she drives within her retirement comunity. We have told her NO DRIVING. but i've seen the car gone several times. she is getting forgetful etc..and seems dizzy at times . sis and I are going to take her keys; but;
she has a "thing" with her keys and her wallet. so she will cry and be soo upset and say why did you do this to me etc..We can't handle doing this before christmas but we are afraid she may go into a blank stare and hurt/kill someone.
I'm thinking I will tell her first that her key is broken and i have to take it to fix it?

My in-laws traveled the US & Canada in their motorhome off and on for 20+ years, with her doing 95 percent of the driving. My mother-in-law's whole life has been contingent on her being able to drive. With her macular degeneration she just can't do it anymore. Even with her short term memory loss, if it had not been for the eyesight going south I think she could still drive. My father-in-law is dead now, and although he drove for a living
as a bus driver/supervisor for 50years he shouldn't have been driving about 2 years before his death. She still says that the doctor took both of their drivers licenses and torn them up right in front of him and her. Of course he didn't actually tear them up, but to her he actually did. I find myself thinking about how I am going react when it's my time to stop driving. She and I are much alike, in that I love road trips too, and doing all the driving is fine with me. It's scary to think about having that Independence taken away. I hope I don't throw a hissy fit when my son says it's time, and pray that I will remember this conversation at that time too.

I wish you luck. Your dad's reasoning is very demented! Do you have durable and medical Power of Atty for him? I sure hope so because his doctor's could easily write a letter stating that he is not able to conduct his business in a business like manner which would be a stronger letter if notarized and that would put you in charge with POA.

I'm an only child who lives 60 miles from my mother. I could not nor could the home health care people or my mother's neurologist talk her into leaving her home with my wheel-chair bound step-dad to assisted living until she had a stroke and broke her hip. Both I and my wife forgot that my mother had given me both POAs back in 2002. Thus, I ended up getting them again weeks before her stroke in March of 2009. If I had remembered these and used them, I probably would have gotten her into assisted living. My step-dad hates the fact that I have so much authority, but he is not trustworthy nor competent. I wish you well.

Yes, all the doctors and nurses told Dad he shouldn't be driving, but he ignored them, saying that he probably drives better than they do. He called the local dealership, and they brought him 2 keys for his car. Fortunately, it broke down, had to be towed to a garage, and the mechanic told me how to disable it so it won't start. The results of the neurological testing show that he should indeed not be driving, and any day now he should receive a notice from the DMV telling him they will take away his license. I would suggest that anyone in my position make sure to specifically ask the doctor to write to the DMV. This doctor, I found out, wasn't even planning to write to the DMV. He just assumed that , after being told by me and his doctor not to drive, my Dad wouldn't drive! I told him that there was no way my Dad was going to give up driving unless he got an official notice from the DMV. Even then, if I weren't around to notice, I wouldn't be surprised if he drove without a license. The testing also showed that he shouldn't be living alone anymore, so now I get to talk him into assisted living. Wish me luck!

Have any of these doctors told your dad that he should not drive? it is not fair for the doctors to have you play the heavy in this situation. Your dad needs to see that this is not just your idea or opinion.

My father is 83, and has never been charged with a moving violation. Quite a record! But he got lost on a familiar road recently, in broad daylight, and I have seen him run a couple of stop signs, and a red light or two. His physical health is good. His memory is awful. He hit a deer, totalled his car, and just bought a 2008 one, and now half a dozen doctors and nurses have told me that he should not drive. So he is stuck here at my house (I don't drive), waiting to be given in-depth mental testing, 115 miles from his home. I felt that I had no choice but to take his key and his license and lock them up in a safe place. I'm telling him that if the detailed testing says he can drive, I will give them back. But in the meantime, he is very angry,says I've taken away his freedom, and has even shown signs of physically aggressive behavior. Any helpful advice would be appreciated.

Mapletree,
Do you have power of attorney? I did and I used it as a wedge to get the keys. I told my dad that because I had poa, I could be sued as well if he had an accident. Also, that they could take his house away and that mom would have no money for me to take care of her. I got the keys and sold the car!

My mother is 89, has significant short-term memory loss (although not early Alzheimers) and has based her entire self-concept on being able to drive. She only goes to a few places but does drive a short distance on the highway. She is often confused although she says she doesn't drive when she is not completely clear. I do believe her but I and all my family members think it's very important for her to stop driving as soon as possible. We can't take the car keys because she would call the police and accuse us of theft. She had said she would stop when she was 90 but now is trying to delay beyond that. We have developed some good options for drivers but she rejects them completely. If she can't drive herself without someone else in the car, and be able to go where she wants on her own time schedule, then she is devastated. She is already clinically depressed (treatment doesn't seem to help or not enough). This is very hard to deal with. When pressed, she says she will call AAA and potentially take a driver's evaluation (good!) but we are waiting until she recovers from a recent fall to press the matter. Any suggestions welcome.