My aunt is starving herself to death.

Doctors can't find anything wrong with her.

She's 87 and if she ate she would probably live a few years more, she doesn't want a feeding tube, she used to say she was ready to go to the Lord but now she can barely scratch out a few words

Why won't she eat? She is blaming her children for making her sick, they have been with her for years 24x7

She is my favorite aunt she probably should be on depression medicine maybe she is, The last thing I want is to step on my cousin's toes.

Make sure you rule out any underlying issues with the senior's doctor as well. This article offers some good tips on how to find the cause of loss of appetite among older adults: https://morninggloryhomecare.com/causes-of-loss-of-appetite-in-elderly/

My biggest fear is that when I reach the really difficult years, I will starve. I am a terribly picky eater, despise ALL seasonings except salt, have texture issues and do not like many foods. If I end up in a care home situation, they will try to "help" my appetite by doing as this article suggests with the flavors and sauces, which will be the opposite effect. I actually put in my advance directive that I MUST have plainest food possible and never want a feeding tube.

My Mom who I’ve been caring for and feeding for the last several years is at her lowest weight. She doesn’t like meals on wheels and I try to cook her a good hearty meal twice a week with leftovers. Anyway, what is currently helping her is Boost Nutritional drinks and her doctor’s office suggested she drinks this. So I started to get the cases at a discounted price thinking it would last her a few weeks and it turns out she goes through a case within a week. That’s 24 bottles and I figured it’s 4.5 bottles consumed a day. While I’m grateful it is working, this is liquid money gone in 60 secs. Lol. I may have to get a second job to compensate for the extra liquid funds. Good luck everyone and trust God.

I visited a friend living in a nursing home.He has PD.Sometimes I come and he is asleep in his chair with his dinner.Of course he doesn't eat much.I have tried helping him but he also seems ether distracted or to sleepy to eat.This facility use to have aids helping but has cut back and see few aids.He is getting very frail.
Is this proper ?

My Moms doctor gave her an appetite enhancer pill.. For those of you who want to put a tube in your Mothers belly DONT!! Geezus would you want one in yours?? The pill works....

my mother in law is 77 she fell and broke 8 ribs she is still in the hospital we hope she will get to come home soon, she just wont eat she has parkinsons and she said why eat if you cant taste anything I as just looking for any advice on what we might do to get her some type of nourishment before she starves herself to death. I will be glad to listen to any thoughts to help, her husband is still alive and he trys but cant get her to eat. if anyone has a idea for what we can do to help, please -

my mom does not eat much things she use to eat wont but i found something she still likes or 2 of them #1 is belgian mini cream puffs even the dog loves them ...# 2 is my chocolate malt # edy's slow churned ice cream chocolate get that only ..does a great job ..b/c then next some ensur chocolate flavor drink & i use & got it at walmart for 20.00$ chocolate protien drink dont use much about a teaspoon is enough dont give a lot just that ..then hershey's syrup give some not a lot 2 or 3 or 4 tablespoon ful more or less mix in blender or we have a hamilton for making malts so blend together any left drink your self but it does a great job to hide the ensure drink

Our parents have very specific likes and dislikes just like us. Unfortunately, many a presented with very little control over their food selections. From meals on wheels to the local senior center the food choices each day are very limited to one or two selections and then our parents get labelled as picky, because they refuse to eat what is served them without us realizing that they had very little input into the choices.

For that matter it is one of the last bits of control they have over their lives whether to eat or not to eat. Seeing this myself with my own father I spoke to him at length about all the limited choices they have and decided to do something about it and founded Top Chef Meals (topchefmeals.com) to give seniors a choice of not only what entrees even what side dishes they get in every meal.

Whether you use a service such as mine, or hire a personal chef, or simple spend the time in the kitchen to make our parents what they crave you will see a huge difference in their eating habits as they once again enjoy sitting down to eat because they are in control again of their food choices.

She also take out her teeth. I make what she may ask for , then not eat it. She takes off her dipper. And is very mean at times.

My mom may or may not even take one bite.

Thank you for your reply Veronica91. I wouldn't say my Dad has any of the issues you mentioned (taking teeth out etc). I can't remember the name of the tablets he was on previously but one of the side effects mentioned was loss of appetite but with anorexia in brackets. I think they caused the initial problem. He came off those about 18 months ago and seemed to improve, he put weight back on and seemed more his normal self. Mum thinks its anxiety mostly. The Dr is keeping an eye on his weight but if Dad isn't open about how he feels I know the Dr is limited on what he can do.

Dad obviously does not want to eat when other people are watching. That is the question. Does he take his teeth out when he eats perhaps or have loud belching or maybe it provokes gas or diarrhea.
It is not unusual for older people to withdraw and just want peace and quiet in their own home. It becomes too much of an effort to shower and put on better clothes to go out.
He also sounds as though there is some depression going on.
Interesting that he would eat a full English breakfast before anyone else was up. Begins to sound more and more like an embarrassment problem. Can Mum throw any light on the behavior or is she afraid of Dad's wrath if she gves away any family secrets?

My Dad hasn't been eating well for the last few years. To begin with I thought it might have been a side effect of the tablets he was taking. His Dr changed the tablets and for a while he seemed better, ate more and put on weight but now seems to be going downhill again. To me it seems more of an anxiety problem as he will eat at home when its just my Mum and him alone but will not eat in public or in front of other family members. My parents have just been on holiday with us and he would eat a full english breakfast before everyone got up but then would not eat if we went out for a meal or in front of the rest of the family if we ate in. He has been for various tests at the Drs, none of which have shown any illness but I feel like he thinks there is something seriously wrong with him, that leads to anxiety and his withdrawal from life. My Dad used to be the life and soul of any gathering, laughing and joking, making everyone smile but now he is withdrawn, snaps at Mum when she tries to help and seems lost. I hate seeing him like that and want to help him but don't know how. He won't speak to the Dr about how he feels in case the Dr sends him for more tests. My Mum won't talk to the Dr about it because then Dad will get angry with her. I'm thinking that I should contact his Dr and talk about my concerns. Any advice welcome.

My mother quit eating 2 years ago. She has dementia and just will not eat solid food. I give her 1 vanilla boost, vanilla almond milk, and a vitamin, and she is not loosing any weight. Her food is too sweat or too cold or she just will not eat it. She will chew some food, but takes it out of her mouth and put it on her plate. I started with 3 servings of Boost, but she gained weight and now on one high protein Boost( less calories ). She is 90 and likes a straw.

NO "FORCE FEEDING"!!! That practice is BARBARIC!!! It is also a firm of ABUSE. I do not know of any nursing home that has done this in DECADES. WE in NURSING ENCOURAGE health shakes, and supplements. Imagine instilling FEAR into your parent??? There is ALWAYS an underlying reason. FIND IT. Meals on Wheels INTENTION is honorable, but their meals are most likely a major contributer to lack of appetite. Rather than try to convince a 90 year old to switch to skimmed milk, low fat this, and low sodium that, and CONTROL their diet, LET THEM EAT WHAT THE LIKE!!! They made it to 90, on THEIR DIET!!! Whether they have 2 years, or 15 years of life left, LET THEM ENJOY THE FREEDOM of CHOICE!!! ~dd

my mom was like that before she got bedridden.. she wouldn't eat so she wouldn't have to walk to the bathroom.. soon I had to call an ambulance cause she was so weak with low blood pressure.. now shes bedridden and doesn't move at all her body is stiff and she only opens her mouth to eat sometimes and im getting frustrated with that.. you cant communicate wit her much anymore.. I am at my wits end... Tell your mom to eat and poop or she will be like my mom... I wish you luck. its hard taking care of them at home when they wont contribute to their care...

this didnt help me at all!!! my mom is bedridden with dementia and most times she wont open her mouth to eat.. im giving her stimulants to eat but lately its not helping.. she doesn't talk anymore either she just grunts so how do I even communicate with a caveman geezus this is getting difficult... I cant fix her food as she is on a nectar thick diet so shes eating pudding baby food mashed potatoes ice cream and thickened ensure... I want to scream.. I am home taking care of her, a nursing home isn't an option as she doesnt have coverage for that.. How in the hell do I get her to open her mouth to eat????????

That must be very hard to deal with. Do you think she may have given up? I hope you are taking care of you!
Do have any support?

Boy this article struck out in every way. Mom does not eat, because she doesn't feel like eating. She will only eat one or two items, she shys away from any "colorful" food. She does not like spicy food. She likes bland and tasteless. Yes she has trouble because of her dentures, but just as with her hearing, she is not willing to get help. She says, " they won't work, I've already had them fixed!". And last but not least, she's afraid that if she eats she will have to poop! Yeah she's embarassed to use the bathroom. Don't ask me why, she has always been that way.

This is a great article right up to the Last Resort (#10) - force feeding! This goes completely against what is now the prevailing "wisdom" but which is really common sense and compassion for a person in the last stage of their life. Prolonging life 'at all cost' is no longer a viable strategy. Quality of Life is what is important in our final years, months and days. It is essential that we not rob our loved ones of their dignity because we don't want to lose them. There is nothing that can stop the cycle of life.

Use strategies 1-9 to enhance appetite and nutrition but if those do not avail, then it may be time to use hospice. My experience is that doctors don't always offer this option to their patients because they are so stuck in the need to prolong life especially when the patient is not suffering one of the usual killers such as cancer. Therefore we, as the loved one have a big responsibility to recognize the signs and to orchestrate palliative care.

To do this we must give up our fantasy that our loved one is going to somehow overcome their health problems and once again become that vibrant person they used to be. Now that they are older or ailing, it is our responsibility not only to see to the physical needs like nutrition but to help them transition from this life to the next in a gentle and loving way.

I think they meant tube feeding. Either by nose or a surgical procedure through the stomach. :(

Exercise may help constipation. Power pudding (2 cups each: all bran, applesauce, prune juice, with a little molasses, dash nutmeg) 2
Tbsp. 2x per day with 8 oz water is often helpful for fiber and nutrition.

Thickit right help with swallowing
problems. Milk shakes and smoothies. I've made pancakes using
Ensure. Hydration is crucial too. Small portions may be more appealing.

I'm a little surprised that the really obvious reason doesn't seem to have been mentioned: that as we become older, less active and less mobile, our need for food diminishes and we tend naturally to be less hungry. If your loved one is eating like the proverbial bird and you are worried that he or she can't possibly be getting adequate nourishment, you could consider consulting a dietitian and asking: what your LO's baseline calorific requirement is; and how much of what sorts of foods will meet that. It might be less than you think, which would be reassuring for you; and in addition you could pick up some useful tips about how to pack key nutrients into smaller and smaller quantities. But on a personal note: please don't ignore palatability! What's the joy in being the best-nourished senior in the whole facility if you're constantly having to force down disagreeable gloop?

Studies show that caloric restriction is one of the practices that leads to health and long life in both animals and humans. Perhaps not eating is the body's way of trying to heal, although for some it might come a little too late in life.

Get to her doctor ASAP You mred to find out the reasons

Your complaints reflect what is important to you and reflect your priorities for good manners, etc. I suggest you relax your standards and stop being so judgemental. Your highest priority should be that he eats enough food to maintain his weight, especially if has memory loss. The priority is to ensure that has food he likes to eat. So if he wants to skip using a fork, what is the big deal.m? You also might find out whether he was taught good manners when he was a child. Maybe his parents did not emphasize them. Maybe food was scarce in his childhood home, so he learned to eat fast in order to get his fair share. Perhaps his family did not have plates for everyone. I suggest that you practice gratefulness that he is still alive and still is able to eat.

Mom is 89 and says she chews and chews and never gets food chewed up enough.We had her examined by a dentist and he found no issue. Why is this happening?

Thanks for giving this information.