On the other hand, I have a friend who exhibits all of the signs of Alzheimer's but is diagnosed with Dementia/memory loss. As I understand it, all Alzheimer's falls under the Dementia diagnosis but all Dementia or memory loss isn't caused by Alzheimer's.

Omg I just came back from visiting my mum in hospital and she was so aggressive and was so unpleasant I had to leave before I said something nasty back. I found this article because her behaviour is becoming more regular but like the author e,plains her parent was so pleasant when anyone.else was around itnwas hard to.get anyone to listen. An excellent article which Haas made.me think a lot.about what could be.going on with her.

My husband in 2001 was diagnosed with Adult Onset Hydrocephalus caused by a bran tumor on the top of his brain stem, a hole was drilled to the center of his head to get the tumor he cant keep track of time, days, even month are mixed up now and after MRSA in his spine four years ago that left him without feeling in his legs his memory seems to be going, He has become very aggressive about his rights, so much so that in the last two years, he called a complete halt to me keeping him sexless in the marriage, I was using the promise f sex to get him to cooperate, and he forced me, there was not any way I could get him to negotiate anything that day he just took me to the floor his father slapped him memorial day for taking his rights over every ones request, And causing his father best friend run for his life taking a reservation from him I was supposed to go with him for after dinner drinks and dancing, His father was back handed into the corner of our kitchen, His father called ahead t the cub we were going and told the doorman he was not invited and when the doorman pushed my husband away, he ended up face down on the sidewalk with my husbands knees in the center of his back and my husband slamming the mans face into the cement,
In about two weeks my husband was not invited on a cruise with me, but he forced his way on by taking over the bank account cancelling the loan I was making to his fathers best friend for the cruise, turning it into a double for us, When we started things in 1985 it was not meant to be abuse, just a way to get him to not take his seniority over others that needed things after he came home from the navy. it developed into not having vacations, holidays or weekends of over 28 years until he retired because of MRSA. But I fear if there is another confrontation someone might not live through it.

I have been married to an angry man since 1966 and now I am caring for him with the help of my daughter and son-in -law. He has always been controlling and get angry with the children for the smallest issue. I have been caring for him with Alzhiermers for 15 years now he is at the stage where he wont sit on the toilet or get in the shower. Why did I stay with him all those years?.I would advise anyone not to stay with an angry partner

Jacqueline-thank you for your heart felt story.
The best to you & go live your life for you now.

Alzheimer's/dementia is different than age related memory loss as it is progressive where age related memory loss is not.

Thank you so much for your information. We had my parents come to stay with us, we worked for months to get our house rearranged for them. They demanded seperate bedrooms and kitchen. We built a flat for ourselves upstairs so they could have downstairs. They paid for the extension they needed. My mother has alzheimers and gets forgetful and aggresive, my dad (81) recently had a stroke and also terminal prostate cancer.Dads brother has had alzheimers for many years. They had been served with anti social neighbour legal papers in old house and were even fighting in the street. After they moved in, every day I was exhausted by their demands but did it to ensure they were safe and happy. Each night he would say nighty night, tousle my hair, say he hoped I felt better in the morning etc. (I have many health problems of my own) Then totally out of the blue on the same day lawyer was coming (at their request) to sign POA & wills he blew up ranting, raging, calling me filthy names and making false accusations. He then told rest of family I was robbing them blind and stole from them. They moved back to their old house. He even asked to have me killed. I am so angry because he hasn't been diagnosed with anything that could explain his behaviour and now I have been ostracised from all my family. Not that, that matters so much but it's my reputation and all the lies that will stick and that galls me. I had to get police presence when some of their belongings were being picked up because of the threats. He can smile and be very plausible in front of doctors, others etc. but totally irrational and aggresive practically every other minute. They will probably kill each other with their behaviour, mum had been poisoning dad by tripling his warfarin and paracetemol. She sets things on fire. He grabs things from her and she pulls back resulting in one or other falling, this usually happens on the stairs??? I'm glad I found your page as it helped me to realise he may be ill and not just a nasty evil old man.

OMG. We are going through the SAME experience with my 79 yr old father! I am YOU!!! Please help me with the following dilemna: How to convince a person with dementia, but who is still considered legally "competent" to have the neuro-pscyh test which will most likely deem him legally "incompetent". He has an appt this week. He is in rehab for his mobility. We had to have him committed involuntarily 3 weeks ago for suicidal intentions. He is angry and suspicious of us, but the hospital pscy did recommend he get this test, and the social worker from the hospital set it up, with him being taken directly from rehab to the test. He is now demanding to know who set it up - he is afraid we are trying to take his license (we were not). We want him to be properly diagnosed and treated. It is it alzheimers, he can live a good life for as long as he has left, and it is a condition of his independent living complex that he be "cleared" to return to his apt. The diagnosis from the hospital psych. will not allow for that, as we was diagnosed with severe mood disorder/sever depression with psychosis. No test for alzheimers has been given, yet he has all 10 of the signs. We are trying to distance ourselves from this test, and put the onus on the independent living complex as a condition for readmittance. Now my dad is delusional, saying he is buiying a trailer to live in; buying a new car for one of his friends, flying people around the country for a music concert he wants them all to go to - ARGHHHH!! He can't make financial decisions, really, and my brother and I have durable power of attny, but that only goes so far. He has to be declared incompetent before someone else steps in and acts on his behalf. Lots of stress!! Can you advise?? Glad I found your page!

does the temper come and go and is he normal in between? my father can have rages although the last really bad one was about a year ago. my mum treads on egg shells throughout the day. Can he remember when he loses his temper and what is he like afterwards is he sorry and tearful? my father is, which makes my mother not get the help she needs as she feels sorry for him and is still living in denial. Have u seen a doctor or wont he go? Try to get help if u can i didnt realise how common this problem is and this is the site to get really good feedback and feel like your not alone. people are really good with their support.

I started reading your story and was going to suggest you read "Elder Rage." ;-)

i am struggling with getting my father to even see his gp. he simply refuses to go. if i got the gp to visit he would ask him to leave and refuse to see him. he exhibits some dementia but can "put on a show " for visitors and make me fell like im the one who struggles with what day it is!! his temper can sometimes leave a lot to be desired and my mum is living on her nerves. he has said sometimes a black cloud follows him and then cant remember saying it. he has taken off his jumper and socks, folded them quite neatly in front of him and was then seen to nod frequently as if in a conversation with someone. we cannot trick him into seeing gp as he would get up and walk out. Can i go over his head the gp sont speak to me without his permission and he has no history of mental health. my mum is in denial but is scared that once we all go home he will berate her. he has never hit her but his mood swings can be just as terrifying. how can this gently loving man who was every inch the fantastic father be so selfish. he says he feels unwell and apologises profusely when he does something out of character and when we ask him to see the gp he just simply refuses and says he is ok now and not to interfere. my mum will not last much longer she is stick thin and living on her nerves. she is still working at 75 just to get out of the house and when she comes home she is just constantly running aroung after him. my dad is 81 this year and he could live for a long while yet but my mum will simply drop. she will not leave him for abreak as he cannot do everyday tasks. he has bad knees and he had a triple bypass many years back and is still on medication. please help!!

get thee to a neurologist as soon as possible.
it took seemingly forever for doctors to diagnose my father. eventually doctors realized his decline was obviously alzheimers, but the delay in diagnosis was a delay in specific care. that was about 5 or 6 years ago. a lot has changed for the better. neurologists know much more of what to ask. they have far more studies under their belt. they can distinguish parkinsons from strokes and dementia much faster. this is critical.
for my mother, she was displaying signs of alzheimers but her symptoms have had much more to do with having strokes. she has recently regained many of the skills we had thought permanently lost. she's not all better. she's not going to be 45 again, or 75. but she's a hell of a lot better than she was six months ago.
Her neurologist was awesome. She was on task and to the point without ever making my mother feel rushed or patronized. she was very kind about delivering tests that would tell my mom's ability to draw, remember, conceive, etc.
But as a caregiver YOU MUST BE PRESENT. YOU MUST ADVOCATE EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. This is critical. Not all doctors are awesome. (sigh.)
Be sure to tell the neurologist what the condition of your loved one was a month ago and a year ago. Bring a list of all medications. If there has been a catscan recently, make sure the doctor gets the results of that (it will relieve your loved one of having to endure more procedure and relieve your medical bills too.)
All of the inconsistencies in behavior that everyone cited above should be mentioned to a neurologist and of course, to the primary physician.

And yes, the legal definitely should come first. Get power of attorney, get yourself on the checking account and ahold of all finances.
However, many states do not cover assisted living and that will eat your finances faster than anything. Keep your loved one as independent and as social for as long as possible. Make assisted living the last resort.
If your loved one is willing, adult day care is great. Look into services offered by community centers and what they offer for social activities and opportunities for seniors. This is critical.
Best to all.

My mother did a great job of hiding her issues also, unfortunately in the mean time she was taken advantage of by bank of america's credit protection insurance and travel club to sign her up for services she didn't need and in one case probably didn't even qualify for (and you can sue me for libel if you like boa but that is the entire truth and I stand behind it).

She's always been a bit "off" ask her about here marriage and she would talk about how perfect it was but that doesn't fit my memories of a alcoholic (we found out later he had hardening of the arteries and serious heart issues he was probably in pain and masked it with the alcohol) and often verbally abusive father who did anything he could to stay out of the house as much as possible

My mother has recently shown some bizarre behavior. On a trip with my brother's family including his mother in law, the mothers roomed together and shared a bathroom. As expected, toiletries were separated by the sink in the middle. My mother, in front of the other mother-in law, reached across the sink and took the mother in laws toothbrush from her little bag and started brushing her teeth with it. In addition, she verbally attacked my brother's family with a devilish look on her face. She couldnt find the restaurant repeatedly and kept losing her money. This woman will murder us if we even bring up the notion that she is acting strangely. Ideas ??

I understand what you went through. My mother also had early on-set dementia which went undiagnosed for over 6 years. The one good thing about having undiagnosed dementia is that you are able to get all of your advanced directives and wills signed because the parent appears to be normal, when they want to be. If I had to do it all over again, during those 6 years ago, I would get those documents so I could enroll my parent in an assisted living facility and adult day care. Waiting until you have the diagnosis creates a situation where you may have to get the courts involved to appoint you guardian, taking away what little money may be left from your parents. Legal documentation should be a priority so that you can get your parent the medical help that they do need.

Recovery.