tctwall

hey there, thanks!

how did we get to the 'you got to go to a place, Mom!' spot?

It is pure survival to get rid of the guilt. I have worked hard to locate a good spot for her, including moving back to Los Angeles from NJ. different mindset out here and the facilities are way cool.
Right now, we're getting ready for a 'lunch date' at the facility I have picked out for her. I told her, what if I drop dead?? You'll be at the mercy of the state!! It's a free lunch, we're out of the house! whaddya nuts?!? thankfully she gets to laughing. It wasn't always like that, believe me.
while writing this message, I have bathed her and done her hair. she's kickin it in my old robe finishing her oj and watching CNN.
I told her that the easier she is to take care of the cheaper it will be!
she also knows that I have to get on with the business of my life and hers, too. I have located a facility that will do respite care or long term, whatever it turns out to be. They get it.
I have worked towards this time for awhile, knowing that Mom had to be cool with the whole thing. She knows that I wouldn't just leave her somewhere. we have worked on the trust issues for a long time. I use the phrase: you're safe and sound a LOT. Whenever I see that 'look' that only says fear. You're safe and sound. that's the only thing that you have to know, you're safe and sound. Want some pizza?

I have worked my ass off taking care of my mom and her interests for over 5 years. Now this is fair to move her to a place where they can deal with the mounting toilet issues and associated stuff I am absolutely over.
this doesn't mean that we can't have a sleep over and I won't show up for dinner because you know I will. the place is 5 minutes from my place and if they'd take me I'd move in there too!

I don't know what state you're in and what the places are like but having researched assisted living/nursing homes in NJ and now in LA, let me tell you, what a difference.
these places are gorgeous and the staff are all devoted to the job as opposed to 'this was all I could get'.

guilt: the gift that keeps on giving!


stay in touch! this is so helpful to me and I thank you. I hope it is working for you too!

ok: off to the free lunch,

Bobbie