lach61

Thank you for your comment and words of help and wisdom. I told my mom this last week I couldn't take anymore and that started the ball rolling, We are scheduled for him to go two days a week 9 to 3 to an adult day care center about three miles from home where they have activities and exercises and music days and various therapies for keeping yourself upright and as able as one can be as long as one can be, just waiting for the bus permission to come through so they can pick him up and drop him off, that may be the hard bit, seeing himself as handicapped but no way he is gonna take the bus there by himself, if he could do that he would be living on his own.

We have signed him up for two days a week at an Adult Day Care. He hasn't got Dementia so bad he gets lost or anything, but I am not sure how comfortable he is going to be going someplace else but the fact is his comfort can;t be the only concern here...

That is bizarre and my mom did the exact opposite. Her parents were Protestant and she went Roman Catholic and no it did NOT go over well, and there are people for whom religion is not a total life focus mind you!

Thank you for your comment and support it means a great deal to me.

When I typed, I meant I don't know that IT would make a difference.

Bobbie,

Thx for the hug.

I saw my MIL on Tuesday--3 weeks to the day after she was taken to the doctor, DirectAdmit to hospital, & then to nursing home, permanently. They claim, at the nursing home, that she's getting good care--but when I saw her, her front teeth looked like there were stained gray streaks running through them. Her hair had not been brushed. I wonder how long it had been since she last had it brushed. Since it was my first time up there, I didn't know where her room was or I didn't know where anything was. My 2nd SIL asked the nurse at the desk, before we left, if they could make sure her teeth were brushed really, really good. I don't know if that would make much difference.

hey laura,
thanks for the hug when my mom died. I'm sorry that i'm just now getting to my hugs.

You are a wonderful person and thank you again for the support.

How is your MIL? how are you holding up?

lovbob

Whenever Mom was in nursing home (broken hip, she recovered) or hospital, I was down there perhaps 12 hours day. I wheeled her around, out to the bunny hutch in the courtyard, to the rec room where we watched videos together, etc. Mostly I made friends with the staff, and made alliances with the other patients, where possible. If I was paying attention to another patient, then I got mom involved, and she felt like she was making a contribution to them. Once she had a roommate, both of them with similar hip fracture. That gal was only 55 and a retired navy WAC. She was really on Mom's side. I brought in a rack of CDs and a player, and the Navy gal was in charge of their music. I suppose similar will happen when Mom enters a nursing home, but don't even know if I can stay in her house.

Probably for the best if sib rivalry is motivation for the others.
May not be best for MIL, but U can continue to visit & pray for her.
Coumadin is bad news in my experience. Be careful.
Bless you for trying.

Thanks for the hugs they mean so much.....

hey lach,
you're on the boat, baby. Man, I know what you mean about not being able to handle it anymore. Hang in there and know you're not alone as far as being crazy with the insanity of what we are doing.
Hugs and kisses and take care of yourself so we can go have fun in a minute.
Leaving for NJ in about an hour and will have my computer with me so keep venting! I'll be there listening and trying to crack you up about something stupid.
lovbob