delsberry

thank you all things are better now i found a support group and have hired home aids to help me with dick. this is helping me and i will continue this until i go broke thank you all again for your help and support it was needed and appreciated.

Hello and how are you doing? Haven't heard from you in a while so I stopped by to check. Let us know what's going on and how you're managing.

Dick is blessed to have your love and support in this difficult time. Here's a few ideas to help you find support and even ways to communicate with Dick:
1) Stay up to speed with your computer skills. The web opens a very large social network if you can use it effectively. AgingCare is just one example. There are similar support groups for stroke victims and their caregivers. Many offer simple techniques for reestablishing communication with stroke and dementia patients. Use Google or Yahoo to search for "support groups" and you will find them.
2) Find ways and times that you can recharge your battery. Is Dick able/willing to go to an Adult Day Care for a few hours so that you can do your own thing? Do you have family or friends who might be willing to stay with Dick for short periods so you can catch a break?
3) "Live a day at a time and make each one a masterpiece" Got that advice from a place mat at a roadside diner and have it framed in my bathroom so I see it each morning when I get up.

Thank you dels, for the words straight from your heart. I too, have said, "it's me and you babe", countless times. Can you call your countys Human Resource Department for some direction in obtaining help for yourself and your loving husband? It should be in your phone book, blue pages under your county or city name. Our County here in Wisconsin, has been a blessing for 19 years. We couldn't have made it without some feedback on where to go and what to do next. This is their job and they are there for YOU. Please keep me informed a bit. I can completely relate to your problem. OK? Sooz~~

Hi Dels, I've been watching your correspondence for the past couple of weeks on the lack of support from others. My posting was 1 1/2 years ago, that you've recently picked up on. All this time later, I can assure you that nothing has changed in the world of compassion for me since back then. Why? Because the vast majority of people are NOT born with compassionate hearts. Just little ones for pumping. We, the ones who care for others, are the blessed ones. Please, make sure your hubby wakes up every day to a smile and positive outlook from you. This will ease his difficult days. Then seek help from anyone anywhere. It's hard but you can do it. I wish I could help you through this as I had been there for so long. Life and the people in it can be so cruel. Surround yourself by only kind and good people. Never look back, just forward with a smile whenever possible with people who truly care and love you. Day by day, step by step, life will take a direction that you can understand. Focus on the positive and believe in yourself with the love of your husband and only the ones who care for you both. The rest, are, who the are. They can't be changed. Bless you and give your sweet husband a huge hug! Do you by chance live in mid Wisconsin? I love who you are----Sooz~~

Please always remember...you can be a good wife and caregiver to your husband and still have a life. You must take care of yourself for him. Get out and do something for yourself before it's too late.

Hi have you considered moving to a retirement community where new friends are right outside your apartment door? Help is always nearby you really do not have to live this way lots of options. If you want email me and I can help - pat@asilverconnection.com

Like I said I am a Home Care provider for the Elderly and I write for The Examiner in the south bend elder care section. Depression is nothing to mess with, get help and give it to God.
Psalms 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. (NLT)

Dear delsberry,

I know your situation because my mother is in the same boat. My father has had several strokes and his right side is effected along with his speech. My mother who has always been social and loves people has become very depressed. She is like a prisoner.
I do not live close to her and I have a special needs child at home that is homeschooled, so I can only see her on the weekends after my weekend job. Then my husband is home for our child.
My brother lives close and helps out. But this is still not enough she is alone a lot and at night. There is of course no conversation from him so it is quiet except for the TV. She dreads every day now and says she feels like she's given up.
I am doing what I can behind the scenes I am learning about how to place him in a nursing home and to free her. I also am going to take her to some retirement apartments to sign up for her to get on the waiting list. She has told me she feels like the energy has been sucked out of her. She worries about their home but it has come down to her well being now and what good is the house or the money if you are slowly dying inside yourself. Something has to change.
I don't see any other option here for her. She needs to have people and so do you to socialize with without feeling that constant pull back home. If no one else is there for you, then maybe you too should start thinking about a nursing facility. If there is an aging center by you I would go there first and let them know your situation. I have gone to one by us and they are very compassionate and they can listen and give you some advise. I really feel for you, I am up plenty of nights worrying about my mother and her depression and her own mental health. Please look in your area and make yourself go and talk to someone who is experienced with these matters. You just have to do it for your own peace of mind.

Welcome Ms. Donna, we are here for you.