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SecretSister

Member since July 2009
101 comment stars from 69 members Give SecretSister a hug!

Name
Age 51
Gender F

I'm Caring For

Name Relation Age Residency Primary Ailment
Dad Father 77 Nursing Home Alzheimer's / Dementia
Father-in-law Father 90 Nursing Home Alzheimer's / Dementia
mom Mother 74 Independent Living Community Other

About me

Our family is challenged by Advanced Stage Alzheimer's, Vascular Dementia, COPD, Cancer, mental illness (NPD, BPD, OCD, GAD, etc.) and ongoing family drama.

Despite the Caregiving valleys, God has never forsaken us, and we are thankful. I am also grateful to the supportive people here who have made a difference. Some have become dear friends, so for that, I must say thank you.

SecretSister's Wall

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Displaying messages 1 to 10 of 279

3 hrs ago

anne123
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SS, I am so sorry--It sounds like you have been through so much difficulty. We can't "please" people all the time, right? We can only please God. That is what I am now trying to remind myself. We will get our proper reward some day, I believe ( Heaven). I applaud you for being faithful to your parents and doing what you can to help them. You've done your best. When elderly parents "threaten" and "punish" us with disinheritance and other means, that is only showing how they are losing their good minds. Here's a hug for you!

9 hrs ago

Crowemagnum
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Sis,

I waxed bold tonight in writing confused. Her boyfriend sounds like the totally extreme spousified mamm's boy. I feel so sorry for her if she does not see what is really going on.

27 hrs ago

Crowemagnum
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Hi,

Next Tuesday I will see my new psychiatrist! I'm going to ask my therapist who works in the same place to share what he pereices about my need for a medication change with him. I''m making progress with my anger issues. You might find this hard to believe, but it's much easier for me to write down my feelings at first than to say them. Thus, over the years of being in therapy I'll make these short movies in my lap top using Microsoft Movie Maker to tell my therapist how I'm doing sometimes. This most helpful when I'm in one of those bipolar mixed states.

4 days ago

caregiverslight
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Hi, SecretSister! Sorry I have not been online as often. Just read your note on my wall. Thanks for taking the time to share! No, you did nothing to put me on the defensive. I was concerned that you thought I may have been referring to somone at AgingCare.com. Not at all. There are so many offline examples of what we all share. I understand anyone who takes the time to care for someone else who is chronically ill. Been there.

Hugs, and hope all is well in your world. TGIF in my world...Tag! You're it for TGIF recipient! :-)

6 days ago

ddarkangel
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Hey just a note to let you know I am thinking about you. I hope your sanity is being maintained! How are you? I havent been on the boards much, working to much and trying to keep up. Still have my moments tearing up every so often. I cant tell you how many times I pick up the phone at nite to call mom and have to stop myself....that was always our talk time. Finishing up all the loose ends but it feels like each thing I do erases a little bit more of her essence from the world. That must be why I drag my feet going thru all her silly things. Mothers day will not be fun- I used to sing her a stupid song every year on the phone or from the parking lot of her building.....we both used to laugh. A year ago I never would have guessed I would be in this place with her gone so fast.
Oh well... I hope you are well. keep up yer energy and your loving spirit! take care....mary

7 days ago

pennynunez
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I'm sorry for your experience. What happened in the end?

7 days ago

GIGGLEBOX
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Secret Sister,

Just thought you needed a hug! You so encourage others and I know that you have a blessing in that.. but you also need encouragement!

So - here's your hug for the day!

Oh, and I am praying for you!

7 days ago

Crowemagnum
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Well Sis, thanks for the compliment. I got a kick out of you calling me 'daddy Crowe." I gather my lecture must of sounded like something a dad or an older brother or a bold therapist would say when their emotions are raw on the edge. However, at least I did have enough self-awareness to know that I was being blunt and acknoledge it. Her situation just struck me as so intense and chaotic.

This is the first time I've ever thought of putting F.O.G. busting in terms of the adult child vs having a child/parent relationship.

I'm not sure if you ever heard this story, but it is reported that when Huricaine Katrina was about to make landfall, a pastor was heard praying "Dear God send us some help, but we don't need a little baby this time." As scarry as it cane be at times, I really believe that our aging parents really need us to be the adult son or daughter in caring for them instead of cowing to them which does no one much good at all. I guess that at almost 53 with all this therapy and insights over 7 years that I'm getting older and bolder.

The only thing that I can guess about my current internal state is possibly like the last two years, this is time for another major insight which has taken place in the spring of each year.

Anyway, it's past my bed time.

Mar 8, 2010

bobbie321
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Hey Stuff,
I just changed my mind at the last minute for best picture. at first I thought it might be Avatar because of it being the all time top grosser but I saw hurt locker and it was amazing. Precious was also amazing and i didn't know if the academy would go for the sympathy vote for precious or because we are at war, would they support hurt locker. Hurt Locker won 6 out of their 9 nominations including Best Director for the first time to a woman, that is why Barbara Streisand presented because old Hollywood snubbed her over and over again for her directing work and just in case kat bigelow won, streisand was there. streisand is one hell of a director and never even got a nomination for any of her work.
love you a lot and i hope you have a great time on your trip!
lovbob
Times have changed thank God.

Mar 6, 2010

Crowemagnum
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Havn't spoken to ya in a while. Here's a cheeful hug to add some cheer to your day, I hope.

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