Why do I feel so depressed because Mama is coming tomorrow?

So the week is over. How did it go?

Hard to understand, but it sounds like you are the respite for Brother and SIL. You mention a week. Is it every other week, once a month, once a year or once in a blue moon? If it is just an infrequent week, and bro has the brunt of the burden, maybe you can just try to take a deep breath and deal with it. Can you afford to call an agency and have them do a shift....if you are not alone with her, she may not get on your nerves as much. Can you plan some activities? Movies? Games? Can you wear an iPod around the house, listen to music or podcasts.....there is an entire generation ignoring their parents by using their earphones.

The kind of information cmagnum asks for would be helpful for more specific suggestions.

If you are this uptight just anticipating having her back, I wonder if seeing a therapist could help you. Not that there is anything "wrong" with you, just that you could use all the support you can get, and perhaps a med.

The question that always comes to mind with these kinds of posts is why are you taking care of her in your home? There can be lots of valid reasons and some pretty unhealthy ones, so that would be a good place to start your explanation.

cmagnum I included much more information, but the captcha thingy kept me from posting until I was left with the barest of information. Maybe I need to start a whole caregiving website to explain. I will try again later. Thank you for your helpful response.

blannie Can I make it a game? What a great idea! This is just the kind of thing I am looking for. Than you.

I'm sorry to hear you are so stressed out and she has not even gotten home yet!

Can you give us more information about your mom's health, physical and mental limitations; how bad is her Alzheimer's; when was the last time she saw her doctor; why she is being moved back and forth from your bother's house to your place; age; any resources that she might have that could pay for some in home caregivers to help you out; why is she not somewhere other than in your place or your brothers; and how long has this moving mom back and forth between you and your brother been going on?

It would also be helpful to know more about you like how is your own physical and mental health; how many others live in the house; when do you plan to see your doctor about how all of this is affecting you; and how long have you been involved with taking care of your mom?

Also, have you and your brother had a chance to sit down and calmly talk about her care needs both now and in the long term?

Who has Durable and Medical POA for your mother?

Have you done a search on this site about toxic parents, emotional blackmail, boundaries and narcissistic parents? There is much information here that could give you some tools to help you get through this week.

Can you make it a game? Count the number of times your mom uses "me" or "I" in one day...or some other way to make it kind of funny to you. Or count the number of times she tells a depressing story...anything to turn the tables and make her "woe is me" stuff silly/funny to you. Keep track each day to see which day is the "winner" in the week.

Can you take her out around other people, so it's not just the two of you? Or take her to day care, so you get a break? Give us more info about your situation and we'll offer better ideas, I'm sure.

pamzimmrrt respite is now an option right now, I do have a relative who has agreed to help out though. littletonway, I have not talked to my doctor about this. At the moment, I wanted to vent and get this out. Thanks to you both for responding.

respite care if you can afford it, for all of you!

Maybe it is time to look for other options when your brother needs a break. Certainly not a healthy situation for you or Mom. Have you talked to your doctor about you feelings?