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It seems that my oldest sibling is not concerned about our mom, but rather her house, money and insurance policies. What legal steps should I take?

Asked by dlafedge9 | Jan 6, 2010

Answers 1 to 2 of 2

Ralph Robbins, Jan 7, 2010

Ralph S. Robbins, CFP© is a fully licensed Certified Financial Planning Practitioner specializing in Eldercare Financial Planning. He works everyday helping families in crisis find creative ways to fund long-term care expenses and deal with family financial issues.

Although it is certainly not all she should be concerned with, your sibling is correct in her worry about finances and the cost of a continuum of care for your mom (if that is her motivation).

Before running to an attorney which can get very expensive, take a look at the documents mom how has in place. The most important thing to look for will be a Durable Power of Attorney. This document allows your mom to give someone else the right to handle her affairs.

If she has not yet prepared such a document, and is still mentally competent, this will be the first order of business. Here is a tip: do not under any circumstances encourage her to name you AND a sibling as attorneys-in-fact. If you and you sibling have to agree on everything it will simply be an ongoing battle. She will have to choose one of you to handle her affairs in the event she is unable to.

If this is not done now then at some point one of you (or a third party) will have to go to court to obtain guardianship. You will regret it if this is the course of action you are compelled to take.

A look at her documents will also tell you who the owners and beneficiaries of life insurance policies are and if bank and/or brokerage accounts are titled solely in her name or joint with another and how the house is titled.

Once you have this information you can determine who is legally responsible for what, who has control of assets, and who can make decisions going forward.

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SecretSister

Give a Hug

Jan 6, 2010

Have you considered talking to an Elder Law Attorney? Can you ask people you know for a referral to a reputable one? What you do depends upon many factors. If your mom or her estate need to be protected, it may be a good idea to call soon. Ask for a consultation, taking with you a list of her assets and your questions and concerns. Have you communicated with your oldest sibling about this? What does/do the other sibling(s) say?

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