What to do? This is going to be terribly long, and I'm sorry.
I'm a nanny of about 4 years. My latest position started about 1yr ago, for 2 teenage boys with ADHD, while their dad (my boss) works out of town, 7 days in a row, and then off for 7days. I work 14 days a month. When I interviewed, it was agreed that I would watch the boys, cook for them and their elderly g-ma with mild dementia, and clean his house, for 10.00 an hour. Average nanny here makes 10.00, average house cleaner makes 15.00, but figured I would give him a break on housecleaning. I was also to do med reminders for his elderly mother. As time went on, my boss has slowly added on to my duties. Now I am grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking boys to doc appts if sick or for check ups, laundry etc. I also recently found out that the eldest son has low level aspergers(think rainman). Homework with the eldest boy is a nightmare. Not long after I started, it became quite clear that his elderly mother was much worse than what he said. She constantly wanted to drive her car(she had wrecked it w/ the boys with her prior to me working for them, and my boss said she is not to drive, ever. I had to hide keys and listen to her complain constantly about wanting to drive. He now takes her car when he goes out of town, but she still frets over it constantly. I am there for 1 hr in the morn. to get the boys off to school and then I go back 15 min before they get home, until they go to bed at 8:30. I get them fed, homework done,have them shower, and settled into bed. I am on the road an average of 2-3 hours per day for an average of 6 1/2 hours for $65.00 per day. The elderly mother saw a neurologist who ordered her not to drive. She then saw a psych doc who ordered the same thing, and yet she still has her DL, so she still thinks she can drive! After reading the psych eval, her dementia is MUCH worse than what my boss said it was(which I knew from her actions and our interactions when I am there). The eval also states that she is not of sound mind to take care of her own medical, or financial matters and shouldn't be cooking unsupervised etc, and she is not to be left alone. Apparently my boss eluded to this psych doc that I "live in" while he is gone at work, which is a flat out lie. I have told him on numerous occasions that I don't feel it is safe that she is alone with the boys all night, without me there, and that I am afraid she is going to burn the house down. He scoffs and says he doesn't think it is time for that yet(he doesn't want to pay for live in care). She hides stuff in the oven all the time and then forgets its in there. She forgets to feed and potty the dog. She wakes the kids up in the middle of the night, and they are tired all the time. During last summer, I was running them back and forth from his home to her home(her, the boys, the dog, food, clothes etc) because she preferred to be at her home where there is a pool. I cleaned the pool, topped the water off, put chlorine in it etc. She owns numerous rental properties, has retirement,has her social sec, her deceased husbands social sec, owns her home(prob worth $300,000.00),lives at my boss's house. They take numerous vacations every year. My boss takes the boys skiing every time he comes home from work, they keep their boat docked at the marina at the lake all summer long. They are not hurting for $. Now it has come that I am taking his elderly mother to doctor appointments when she's sick, taking her to check ups, because he doesn't want to do it on his days off, taking her to hair appts etc.My boss has even said to me that it is becoming more about caring for his mom, than it is about the boys. I said you're right!!! I am running 18 hour days from the time I have to get up, til I can finally go to bed, and I am wore out. I have fibromyalgia, a fused neck, a pinched lumbar nerve, bilateral sciatica, bilateral carpal tunnel,, tmj,migraines, ministrokes, inflammation on my brain which could belymes, lupus, ra or possible MS. I have white spots on my brain. I'm currently going thru testing right now. Severe insomnia, chronic pain, blahblah. I have lots more wrong but its just to much to write. I don't want your pity. I just need suggestions as to what would be fair to ask for in my situation. Something more in line with the amount of work that I amdoing.maybe a daily rate, a 7day weekly rate and/or a 7 day live in rate???? Thank you for your time! Sorry so long! Ps-i do not get any sick time, no personal time, no vacation time, no health ins or dental ins. And I never agreed to be an elderly care worker. It just kind of evolved. I do love this family as if they were my own. Thanks!
I agree that the kids shouldn't be there with their grandma alone but that is not your problem to solve. This man sounds like an idiotic jerk and not someone I would ever want to work for. Instead of piling more tasks on you he should be thanking you on his knees for everything you do.
I hope you can realize that you are being taken advantage of and do something about it. Your loyalties are not to the kids or the mother, they're to yourself first.
Do not write on his calendars. Keep your own records, as he should have kept his own.
You can't do anything about the negligence of your boss towards his family but you can certainly take responsibility for yourself. Let him know you can only work 8 hours a day and the going rate for your responsibilities is $21.00/hour. Give 2 weeks notice if he doesn't agree and for sure, let him know your final day will be whatever you decide to get things together for move in the fall.
This gentlemen needs a serious reality check as to what is going on in the life of his family and life in general.
Stand up for Caregivers, and the principals that good caregivers are worth a lot. I mean that because once I stated to one community that my rate is $45.00 for two hours that was spread around the community, and next thing I knew I had many people contact me. You are worth your weight in GOLD.
He said, why don't we skip taxes this year. I said I can't, that I need them filed, because of whatever is wrong with my brain inflammation etc, I may need to file for social security disability. He said well I didn't even think we were going to file taxes. (When I interviewed, I specifically asked him if he planned to file his childcare fees and he said he probably would). He then asked, what's up with this OT? I said, it is my understanding that any hours over 40 hours in a week, are OT and are to be paid at time and a half. I said, I would be happy to look up the actual labor law regarding it, and send it to you. He was like, well, I work 12 hours a day and I don't get OT. I said, well my sister works at a doggy daycare and grooming shop and was working an insane amount of hours, and her boss wasn't paying her OT for hours over 40, and my sister called, and it is the law, that any hours over 40 hours in a week, are to be paid at time and a half. Its the law.
I didn't bring up a raise in my wages to better reflect the amount of work that I am doing. I'll wait on that, until after I get these taxes done. If he refuses to raise my pay, I will have no choice but to quit. I will then file for unemployment, due to him giving me so many additional duties with no additional pay, and it will likely go to a hearing, where I have proof of what was agreed on(my notes during the interview, as well as his ad, looking for a nanny only). Then it will likely come out about his moms moderate dementia, his sons ADHD, his eldest sons aspergers and their being left alone at night(who is watching who???).
I'm feeling better about things! 😊
Look into joining an agency, you will make about the same and have benefits such as sick days.
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