I'm so tired of my Mom saying, "I don't feel good." Anyone else?

Oh gosh I have this at least 15 times a day - I have a headache, my head hurts, you dont know what its like to have a headache (OH REALLY?) My headache isnt going away can I have some tablets for my headache.

Now we have done every tests known to man and a few only animals know about I am sure and there is absolutely nothing wrong. CT Scan - zip, MRI nada, its not migraine, its not the heat because she gets it in the cold, its not her eyes because she has had the cataract op. So yesterday I called the doc out because I need to be sure (even if I am sure)

He said where is the headache. I dont have one she said - WHAT?!!!! Well those pills take it away WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????

Well he decided to up her antidepressants and gave mne a new script but he forgot to sign it - although to be fair i hadnt noticed.

He hadnt been gone 2 minutes when he realised and popped his head round the door just as she was starting on the my head hurts again. CAUGHT IN THE ACT. Well he was there prodding and poking her everywhere - I could see she was getting really cross (and I did smirk inside however malicious that makes me sound). After an hour he prescribed nothing more than he did originally but told her she needed to do more exercise instead of just wallowing in self pity - I nearly fell off the chair then he said dont you think your daughter has enough to do without you making up stories about headaches all the time? Oh I love this man - he does know what she is like - he has seen it for himself - Mother is now very grumpy but she DOESNT HAVE A HEADACHE YAY!

You mean, we have to do all the physical labor, the grocery shopping, the doctor's appointments, the finances, the housekeeping, the yard, the dishes, the legal will, dnr, report to the siblings without being defensive and explain yourself, drive the person around; AND LISTEN TO THEM? And then, we have to be nice too! Well, that is just impossible, there is no way I can be nice too. Judge Jude will agree!

I don't feel good either.

My hunch is that she will benefit from lots of TLC, Tender Loving Care, in the form of words as so well suggested by other commenters...I have the same thing from my invalid wife who cannot speak..she makes a circle around her face indicating she is dizzy...I hug her and say tender things and tell her we are going to have new bodies in heaven and live on a corner lot with a white picket fence out front with roses intertwined among and between the pickets...she smiles and gets on with her normally upbeat attitude towards life...her indication of dizziness is not a complaint as much as it is just to inform me that she is feeling punk.

Grace + Peace,
Bob

If you're convinced that there's nothing wrong with her except the vague "I don't feel good" try commiserating with her: "I'm sorry you don't feel well, Mom. Is there anything I can get you?" Or, "Are you having any pain?"

I work in home healthcare and I hear "I don't feel good" all the time. After I've ascertained that there is no specific physical complaint I say something like what I wrote above. My patient gets heard and their complaint is addressed.

People with depression can have aches and pains throughout their body. There are a few medications on the market that might help. Has your mom signed over her HIPPA rights so you can speak to her Dr.'s office? Try talking to them and seeing about getting your mom on a medication that addresses her aches and pains. Not an opiate pain reliever but an anti-depressant that alleviates muscle and joint pain.

I get the same thing. I agree with Eyerishlass on a positive statement. I usually say something like, "I'm sorry you don't feel well. Is there something I can do for you?" Then I suggest that she might feel better if she gets something in her stomach and then try to divert her with a suggestion of an outting. A lot of times she is bored (she gets cabin fever) and the only thing she has to focus on is aches and pains and real or imagined ailments.

Jan, I can so relate. My mother has been saying she doesn't feel good every day for 5.5 years now. She would also say the same on the phone for a few years before I came to live here. So she has not been feeling good every day for at least 15 years now. It isn't just with me. She tells everyone she talks to on the phone or in person that she doesn't feel well that day. If someone asks her how she feels, the stock answer is "Not so good." Occasionally she will say "Fair," but that is as good as it gets.

The trouble is that when someone always says they feel bad, it's hard to judge when they really do. My mother has a long-term anxiety disorder and sometimes I think she takes the pains of aging and turns them into harbingers of death. She has always dwelt on symptoms, so growing old is hard for her with all the worry it brings to her.

We have an Eyore also, I find if I say back oh yes, I have a headache/ sore back/ aching knees and begin to go into great detail about MY pains it puts a kibosh on those complaints. No one likes to listen to that stuff all day.

She doesn't feel well because she has Parkinson's and Depression, that is not a mystery. But it is difficult being constantly reminded. It is difficult, that you cannot fix it. Pray for patience, respond to her statements with a change of subject.

Easier said than done,I can relate to all above and have tried all but I think personality has a lot to do with it.