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My mother and step-father live 3 minutes from me. I know that it's time for them to go into a facility, but I'm torn. When is the right time?

Asked by TRANQUILITY | Mar 8, 2010

Answers 1 to 1 of 1

Mar 8, 2010

Tranquility:

Or maybe I should address this to "Searching for Tranquility" because I am sure you are seeking that just as surely as I am. Having your parents still at home when it is clear to you that they need to be somewhere where they can live under the watchful eye of paid staff is tough. Knowing when to push them in that direction is tough too. I think what made the difference in my own case was that when Dad died, mom spent a year of her life chasing down people to help her maintain the house they both lived in. Eventually, it became apparent even to her that it was just too much. All I did was keep telling her that life would be simpler for her if she were closer to medical care and out from under the responsibility of looking after the house. The message eventually got through and she began making preparations to find a suitable place to go. The whole moving process took probably six months from the time the decision was made till she was actually moved in...so it won't happen overnight. But she told me after the move was over she wished she had done this years ago. I hope this helps. The key here is to just continue broaching the subject in a non-coercive way and let them decide...it worked with Mom and me.

Good luck

Tom

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