How do you talk to procrastinating, arguing and stubborn parents into doing something about their finances while they are still healthy enough to?

Asked by marigold5  |  Jul 28, 2010

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MiaMadre

Give a Hug

Jul 28, 2010

Find someone YOU trust that is their contemporary. Our elders sometimes find it difficult to tell 'us' their problems, and even more difficult to listen to US tell them THEIR problems. It could be denial, it could deminished capacity, or it just could be stubborn behavior.

It sounds like you have your parent's best interest at heart, but it may take some intervention for them to understand that. Try to find someone that BOTH of you trust to have a discussion with about their 'future' that you can involve? Talk to this person before hand, and list the 'situations' you would like to have addressed.

Contact 'elder services' in your area about the best way to handle specific needs. Gently introduce these suggestions into supportive conversations a step at a time.

It isn't easy trying to help, but the effort is well worth it.

 
 

anne123

Give a Hug

Jul 29, 2010

My husband and I found that "the talk" with my parents went better when we also talked about OUR need to think about writing out our will, living will instructions, etc. ......that it wasn't just for them to do. This helped them to accept the fact that they had to face these important issues.

Another tip I read somewhere (which we followed) was to not let these issues "die away".....to keep bringing them up from time to time, so that your parents will know that you mean business.

 
 

marigold5

Give a Hug

Jul 29, 2010

Thank you. That is, I'm sure, such a good approach. One of them has been making the appt. with a financial advisor, the other cancels them, because she's afraid what is being done. Oh my! And I am in the dark about it. Your advice sounds so wise. Thanks again.

 
 

0anonymous

Give a Hug

Feb 26, 2012

it sounds like when the 1 person makes the appt w/ a financial advisor, the other shouldn't even know about it. ever try secretiveness??? sometimes it pays 2 b secretive.

 
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