Last night my mother decided to sleep on the floor. We try talking to her but it never works. How do I best approach this with her?

Asked by jmarziot  |  Jan 26, 2012

and argued with me and my sisters. This weekend we are gonna try again to talk to her as a group. I have no new ideas on how, talking never seems to work. Just results in her screaming and telling us we don't love her. Any ideas on approaches? We've run out of ideas

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NancyH

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Jan 26, 2012

Why did she want to sleep on the floor? Is this a dementia/alz thing?

 
 

jmarziot

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Jan 26, 2012

All her focus is on her old dog. And after her decision to sleep in the living room on the couch to avoid the stairs to her bedroom, she then decided that the dog is on the floor, (on a blanket I set up for him - makes him think he's on the bed - he's blind and 17 years old) and she's on the couch and he's not used to that. He's used to sleeping on her bed with her. He's a little Yorkie. My sisters DID manage to talk her out of it. She would not listen to me. And I know right now she's feeling a little beat up on. We may....convert her living room into her bedroom so she has everything on the same floor.

I think....because her focus is on the dog, she isn't thinking about what effect sleeping on the floor would have had on a 79 year old and not to sound selfish of how her children would feel about their mother sleeping on a cold floor. We are also discussing having her checked for dementia (though the many tests in the past have shown nothing of that nature)....maybe it's time to test again.

 
 

Aleeta

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Jan 26, 2012

Stairs can be a real obstacle for the elderly. Allowing her to sleep downstairs, near her faithful old companion sounds like a compassionate decision.

 
 

jeannegibbs

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Jan 26, 2012

Converting her living room to a full bedroom sounds like a good solution. In the meanwhile, what is the problem with sleeping on the floor? What is the worst that can happen? A little stiff in the morning? Need some help getting up? It is not like she is going to fall out, or do permanent damage, is it? She's not sleeping in a sleeping bag on the damp ground. Put some comforters/quilts on the floor to make Mom and Dog as comfortable as possible and stop fussing.

Get the bed and dresser down there, remove the couch,, etc.and give Mom a nice room on the main floor.

As for determining dementia, make notes about any behavior that seems odd to you. A careful hisory of observations can be the most important tool in diagnosing dementia. I don't think I'd bother with more medical tests until I see a pattern of qustionable behavior.

Good luck to all of you!

 
 

NancyH

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Jan 26, 2012

jmarziot, when we had our carpet installed we had to remove all the furniture out of our bedroom. Our son brought over a really nice inflatable mattress that was almost 2 feet high. We made it up with sheets and blankets, and I have to say it was pretty comfortable. Maybe that's a solution for your mom, so that her dog can get on her bed with her like she's used to.

 
 

jmarziot

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Jan 26, 2012

Oh my you just gave me a great idea,,,,while we work on a "permanent temporary" arrangement, I can get an aero-bed for now. Much better than the couch for her and the dog. Once we all decide on a solution....we got an extra bed for visitors

Do you know you rock?

 
 

LindaGS

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Jan 27, 2012

or even a futon?

 
 

LindaGS

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Jan 27, 2012

How did she handle you and your siblings when you wanted to sleep in interesting places?
I have a friend who makes me laugh... her kid thinks he is Harry Potter and he lives under he staircase.
My parents were very strict... your room... your bed!!!

 
 

desert192

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Jan 27, 2012

When my husband couldn't get upstairs safely, he began sleeping on sofa,too.
Got Air mattress and put in family room until I could find helpers to move real mattress downstairs and converted part of my in-home office into bedroom.
Your Mom and companion seem happy with their sleeping arrangements, so if at all possible find some way to accomodate them. Being happy is what it's all about.

 
 

tltimme

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Jan 27, 2012

This is kind'va like my mom and mirror's now. She is positive that there is a woman in her mirror that is trying to move all her stuff and steal things. It got so bad she didn't want to use her bathroom because she had to walk past the big vanity mirror. Instead fo trying to make her understand that it's just her reflection, I got some packaging paper from Office Max and covered the mirror. That's why she calls me her fixer!

 
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