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I am turning 50 soon and have already suffered from a stroke and a heart attack. I am currently living with my daughter who doesn’t treat me right. What can I do if I want to find my own home again but am not old enough for relocation services?

Asked by orangefirelilly | Aug 14, 2010

I was in the hospital for a total of 42 days. It's taken me a year to recover. I had to give up my apartment and go live with my daughter, who is 31. She is mean and demands that I do housework and clean her children's bedrooms since she works and is basically taking care of me financially, although it's bare-bones care. She screamed and told me that she could talk to me, her mother, in such a manner because it was her home and she was paying the rent. She has backed off somewhat since I was able to get out of bed more often and told her to back off. I still am not able to do much housework and I totally won't clean her children's bedrooms. If I do physical work, I will surely have a heart attack and die. I need to leave and get my own home again, but I'm not old enough for relocation services. Any suggestions?

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anonymous13319

Give a Hug

Aug 14, 2010

orange: So sorry to hear of the chaos in your life....you are literally between a rock and a hard place.
Are you on disablity? Not sure how to file for it...talk to someone in your state offices.
There is gov. subsidized housing, in all states. They have apartment complexes for the elderly and disabled. Rents are reduced according to income. Also, could you get a roomate or move in with another relative/friend temporarily?
Next, file for food stamps and whatever else your state allows.
I would do anything to get out of that toxic situation. BTW, how would your daughter feel if it was she that moved into your home with the kiddos. Would she tolerate you screaming at her and asking her to be your unpaid slave.
If you decide to continue doing domestic chores, hand your daughter a brochure from a local cleaning company. I called one recently to get info. for my Mom. They charge anywhere from $85 to $100 per DAY for light housekeeping.
Get some physical therapy, get back on your feet, and get out.
Good luck,
Lilli

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anne123

Give a Hug

Aug 14, 2010

I agree with Lilliput's suggestions. Orange, it would do you good to become as independent as you can. We always feel better when we can take care of ourselves, to the point that we are able. Dig deep inside of you for the inner strength that you possess. Make the phone calls, do the investigating you need to do to find out how to live on your own. Your body has been through some "events", but your body can recover. Once you get out on your own, you can start to look at your talents and strengths......ways for you to make money. I saw a lady on the news who couldn't pay her mortgage and was down to her last penny, and she started baking apples cakes. The cakes tasted great and started selling "like hotcakes." This is blossomed into a lucrative business for her. (Google the words: "mortgage apple cakes" to read about her.) In order to get your mind out of "dependent" mode and into "independent" mode, you may need to give yourself regular pep talks.....saying "I can do this." ....things like that. Good luck....you deserve to have an independent, productive life.

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