My mother has cataracts, and I know that if she would have the surgery for both eyes she would see better, but she refuses. How to convince her?

my dad s the same way . i told him it doesnt hurt etc . he said no they can just leave my eyes alone ! i see just fine ! he s the boss and he knows his eyes . cant force them or convince them .

I have to admit the thought of anyone messing with my eyes gives me the creeps. Now I know that it's safe and you get great results these days, but still....
My dad has had cataract surgery on both eyes I believe, but then again he doesn't have dementia or any mental issues. Which could be why a person wouldn't want to go through it. I'm not sure a person that is mentally impaired would be able to hold their eye still enough, or understand the doctors instructions well enough in the first place. Now when and if they come up with a surgery to correct the 'old age' vision that a person gets when they hit 40 years old, sign me up. Creepy or not.

I have had cataract surgery myself, it is a piece of cake, and you see so much better afterward it is amazing. Holding eyes still is not an issue, they put in drops to still the muscles and a strap to hold the head still. And the stuff they pump into your arm is wonderful.

That said, you could tell your mom the same thing. It probably won't do any good. If she refuses, and is as stubborn and steadfast as my mom is, the surgery will never happen. I can't even get my mom to eat a meal half the time.

Thanks for all the feedback. I feel she is more prone to accidents with her vision impaired. Will try to convince at the doctor's office and see how it goes. I hope she will see the light (no pun intended)

If I were you, I would have others who have had it, talk to her, or forget it. My Mom refused for years but then with the dementia progressing, she agreed . Afterwards she said "why didnt I do this a long time ago?" She forgets she had it done but the prep isnt easy, they stuck a long needed into her face both times to numb her and she screamed. Then there is a patch over night and then eyedrops 3-4 times a day for weeks, its not as easy as one might think for the elderly person and for you doing the drops. I wouldnt make her, let he be if she is happy. 6 months after my moms 2nd surgery she had a stroke and cant hardly see a thing now, such a shame. Good luck, I know how stubborn they can be.

I didn't find putting the drops in my husband's eyes too big of a problem (compared to all the other problems we have in relation to his poor health). The cataract operations cleared up his vision although he continued to fuss for about six months about still having "floaters". My husband thought the surgery would be much more difficult than it was and after his first surgery, he didn't dread the second one. If you think it would be safer (accident-wise) for your mom to have the cataracts removed then I would suggest that you take whatever route you need to so that the surgeries take place. If your mom is suffering from dementia, now is probably the time when you will have to start "parenting" your mother and, for example, arrange medical treatments for her that you think are in her best interest just like you would do for a child. Has your mom given you the legal right to do this yet? Or could the family doctor order such a treatment? Just a few thoughts for whatever they are worth. I've "been there" with my mom and know how tough it is to parent a mother. Good luck.

Mom has cataracts right now. They do not impair her vision (at least that what she says.) Her eye doctor does not see that they have progressed that much. If I were in her shoes, I would have the surgery done. Compared to other surgeries, this one is relatively safe. When my grandmother had her surgery done, I could not believe how much it contributed to her quality of life.
I am not normally prone to suggest surgery for an elderly person - just because of the risks of anesthesia, etc. But cataract surgery is probably one of the least risky.
However, you do need to ask her doctor if it would be risky because of her macular degeneration. I would be interested to know that.
good luck

When I had my cataract surgery (I am 55, and had to have the cataract out because it was making my glaucoma worse) they only gave me anesthetic drops in my eyes, and a relaxing IV. It was wonderful. I felt fine, there was no pain, and I don't know what was in that stuff, but I couldn't have cared less that someone was in my eyeball with a scalpel.

It kind of glosses over things that happened during that day, so the older person will not recall much of the day. I didn't, and a person with issues, even less. I think a person with dementia will forget it even happened in a week.