What to do with a Mother (82) who is constantly snooping through your stuff?

Get fliers from nursing homes and funeral homes and put them in a folder marked PERSONAL. Put her name on the forms, inside.

Rosie, for whatever reason, your mom's behavior is unacceptable to you. If that is the main area of discord then it certainly makes sense to prevent unpleasant episodes by locking your things in your room. Should you have to? No. Do you have to? Yes.

This behavior really does sound like the first sign that something is not quite right in Mom's brain. Maybe she has always had these tendencies and her social filters are beginning to slip, so she acts them out more. In any case I think you will feel less upset about it if you don't take it as a reflection on you. Can't mother realize you are an adult and this is no longer appropriate at any level? This probably isn't about how Mom sees you. It is about her own internal urges.

If Mom suddenly developed a fascination with fire, I think you'd take care to keep matches inaccessible to her. This is similar. Keep your private things in a locked room. I like GardenArtist's idea of a snoop dresser. Maybe once in a while you could stock it with old pictures or other treasures to make it worth her while to look in there.

I would also keep an eye out for other inappropriate or strange behaviors. Some forms of dementia do not start with memory loss.

Come back and let us know how this is working out for you. We learn from each other!

well, personally what I would do since she does not have dementia per say, I'd really give her something so see. Maybe roll up some oregano to look like joints, stick in some gay guy porn magazines, some receipts from casinos showing you lost hundreds of dollars, and just sit back and watch the fun. If you could get her reaction on tape, you could go viral on you tube!

I agree with making her a snoop drawer... I'd rather have my mother alive and well and able to snoop and be able to tell her every day 'I love you mom' and be able to embrace her than to have her gone never to see a smile or feel her touch.... Just remember when you was a child you was snoopy also... And she loved you!... Mine passed 4 days ago at 75 years old and I would have given her my last breath just to be able to tell her how much I love her...

Rummaging is a sign of dementia. So is hoarding. Check her purse when you leave a restaurant, it might be full of creamers, artificial sugars, jellies etc. Keep an eye on her when shopping. Mom picked up $25 gift cards and stuffed them in her purse. Fortunately they are no good until paid and activated.

Does your Mom have memory issues such as dementia... if she does, she doesn't realize what she is doing and no amount of reasoning will help... you'll just have to grin and bear it.

Has she been evaluated for dementia? This sounds like the kind of loss of impulse control that can signal that cognitive decline, especially in the area of the brain that controls executive functioning. Sadly, it may be beyond her control.

Can you put most of your personal things in your bedroom or other rooms and add locks to the doors?

Of perhaps you could create a "snoop" dresser in an area accessible to her. Fill it with various stuff that isn't personal and let her rummage around in it.

Gary, one of the things caregivers need to do before washing is check all the pockets for Kleenex. I learned that the hard way.

But interpreting the napkins as a message from your father is very touching and helpful.

Didn't occur to me until just now but perhaps she doesn't really realize she's not in her own home, doesn't realize that she's going through your things, thinks she is still at home and is just trying to find items of her own that might have been misplaced.