Home » Health Conditions » Alzheimer's & Dementia » Questions » Mom won't wear diaper. What do I do?
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Carol Bradley Bursack, Dec 17, 2010
Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories."
First, be careful not to call it a diaper. That will generally bring on resistance. A third party - non-family member such as a doctor or good friend of the parent - can often make progress here. Elders often don't like being told what to do by their "kids."If your mom can understand that discrete protection is far more dignified than going around smelling like urine, she may decide that incontinence protection is best. But if she's shamed, or told she needs a diaper, you could be in for a losing battle.Please try to get a doctor or someone outside the family to find a way to gently explain that many, many people need incontinence pads, and that they are really no big deal. Maybe, just maybe then she'll try them.Good luck,You are facing common, but frustrating, issue.Carol
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cindybrownlbsw
Give a Hug
Dec 17, 2010
Possible option: Remove all the regular underwear from her drawer and replace them with "disposable underwear". Don't make a big deal of it, just act as though this is absolutely normal. One brand of incontinence products is actually making briefs in colors now! But "disposable underwear" is often far easier to accept, especially when they open their underwear drawer and find them already there as if they belong there and have been there all along! I have had this work both for my Grandmother as well as for many clients!
Helpful Answer (1)
bobbie321
Let her see you wear them.Of course you have to be pretty casual for that, but it worked for mom and me. Mom ended up laughing because I told her I was putting one on to watch tv and didn't want to be disturbed.I know, we were goofy.I miss my mom a lot. Pull ups and all.lovbob
stmahoney
May 12, 2011
My father tends to remove his pull-up at night and there is a "mess" in the morning that the aide has to deal with - cleaning him as well as sheets. The Assisted Living Center called and recommended "jump-suits" for night wear that cannot be removed. Won't this start a downward spiral that will lead to his total reliance day and night on "pull-ups". During the day he goes to the men's room and attends to his needs on his own. (This night time incontinence and jumpsuit recommendation came during a week that he had a virus and a 99.7 degree fever. He is 90 years old.) Isn't this recommendation premature? I am fearful because "incontinence" is a "discharge criteria" from this particular Assisted Living Center.
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