It so depends on the person, I think! I was tempted to say "there's no way to make it easy" but then I realized that I was answering based on experience with *my* mother, while others have had a much easier time. Best of luck.
Bring things from home, the more familiar the better. It's not an easy adjustment that's for sure. It's been a year for my Mom and she still asks about going home but I know in my heart she is in a great community with people who trully care about her and that makes it all the more easy to accept. Visit often and take your Mom out whenever you can. In the beginning I was there almost every day, just to let her know that even though her living accomodations changed, our relationship would never change. It's been a year now and I am able to go for a few days without popping in, I feel confident knowing Mom is very well taken care of and able to maintain a certain level of independence and despite her complaining to me I hear from her friends that she loves where shes at so that makes it all the more bearable. It's definately a hard adjustment on the kids as I felt terribly guilty when I moved her in but in hindsight I knew in my heart that moving her in and knowing she would be looked after was much less painful than the thought of her being alone in her house and stressing over whether she was ok if she didn't answer the phone whenever we would call. I see my Mom socializing and making friends and while it may not be as great for her as being in her own home (according to her) I know its much better for her to be surrounded by people and having choices on participating in activities rather than being alone in her house on a daily basis with nothing to do. You are making the right choice. Don't feel guilty.
We told mom it's like going on a cruise. Meals, maid service, fine dining, entertainment, bus trips. The ship just doesn't leave the dock. We told her to pack clothes for a month. That suited her just fine. We took her there at lunchtime, and by the time she finished lunch, the movers had set up her adjustable bed, favorite chair/table/lamp. The facility assigned her a buddy and kept her busy in activities. She loved it. If mom likes to socialize, she will be ideally suited to this.
I think it depends on how advanced your mom is with her dementia. If she doesn't recall what happened the day before, then I see no reason to discuss it the day before. You might announce the morning of the move that an opening came open suddenly and your move is that morning and have her bag ready to go. I'd get all of her things later. I think moving loads of things at once in her presence can be overwhelming.
I did discuss it with my loved on in advance and told her the day before the move, but she feigned illness that morning. I finally got her to go, but if I had to do it again, I would not tell her until the day of the move.
I assume you have Durable POA. I would be prepared for lots of questions as to when she can go home. Many residents repeat that over and over. I told my loved one over and over that we didn't know. That it would depend on her progress and what the doctor said. She would forget that and repeat it every 5 minutes. I posted it on her wall, but she would forget to read it. So, I wouldn't have high expectations if she is apprehensive about going.
Some people here say that it's good to take the loved one to the facility for lunch a few times so they can meet the staff and get used to the place. That might work for some, but not the people I know of. It depends on the person.
We took her there at lunchtime, and by the time she finished lunch, the movers had set up her adjustable bed, favorite chair/table/lamp.
The facility assigned her a buddy and kept her busy in activities. She loved it.
If mom likes to socialize, she will be ideally suited to this.
I did discuss it with my loved on in advance and told her the day before the move, but she feigned illness that morning. I finally got her to go, but if I had to do it again, I would not tell her until the day of the move.
I assume you have Durable POA. I would be prepared for lots of questions as to when she can go home. Many residents repeat that over and over. I told my loved one over and over that we didn't know. That it would depend on her progress and what the doctor said. She would forget that and repeat it every 5 minutes. I posted it on her wall, but she would forget to read it. So, I wouldn't have high expectations if she is apprehensive about going.
Some people here say that it's good to take the loved one to the facility for lunch a few times so they can meet the staff and get used to the place. That might work for some, but not the people I know of. It depends on the person.