Can you have joint Power of Attorney for a parent with your sibling?

Asked by bigsister09  |  Mar 16, 2010

My mom had a stroke. She had a will, but no POA executor named. My sister and I are making health/finance decisions jointly. Is this ok?

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Carol Bradley Bursack, Mar 18, 2010

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.” Her sites, www.mindingourelders.com and www.mindingoureldersblogs

 

It may be good to see an estate attorney to determine if anything else should or can be done to make the transition easier and to avoid any legal complications. It never hurts to check.
Carol

 
 

cmagnum

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Apr 3, 2011

The will should name its executor which I have seen written up joint, but to cover yourselves you really need to have your mother grant you durable and medical POA if she is competent to. If not, then one of you will need to file for guardianship.

 
 

virginiajnorto

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Apr 16, 2011

My mom has been taking Aricept and anti depressant for several months and has been doing fairly well. My brother and sister in law are trying to have meds stopped all together. I have done research on this and have found out this is the worse thing you could for dementia patients. Do I need to get POA for medical issues even if my brother already has one?

 
 

wuvsicecream

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Apr 16, 2011

First of all POA is only to handle affairs and all issues in need of POA's power clearly stated in papers specifcally. Wills are needed for granting wishes to be granted after death. To answer the question POA can be jointly written. I would think very carefully about this, it makes things more difficult. For example, you will need both partys to sign for accounts, checks etc. but I think you can word the papers daughter1 and/or daughter2 in that case both can take action or either. This also could be a complication, if both parties don't agree or one does something other than "in the benefit of " you are both held responsable. I am not an expert but from my experience with joint POA , I don't suggest it.

 
 

cmagnum

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Apr 16, 2011

virginiajnorto,
If your brother already has medical POA, then you can't get one unless your mother takes him off and gives it to you or takes him off and gives it to both of you. I would not suggest a joint POA anymore than I would suggest a joint executor of a will.

 
 

dennyk

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May 9, 2011

My husbands mother is incapacitated and unable to make any decisions.
She has no POA, although she has a living will. Does he need to get a lawyer
to set up a guardianship for her?

 
 

cmagnum

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May 9, 2011

yeap

 
 

thirdchild

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Jul 26, 2011

My mother has cirrhosis along with other health issues, for the past year her health has drastically went down hill. I dont think she will live for any extended amount of time, it is myself and 2 siblings, we all look after and help with whatever is needed although my older sister has spent more time at or with mom because she isnt employed. Actually I feel strongly its because she takes moms van to drive and lets her husband& kids, none are insured and pretty certain sister and hubby's lisence are suspended from unimsured accidents in the past. Also sister is helping herself to some of moms meds if you know what I mean.. although she gives me "good reasons" for this and only takes "a few" but past 3-4 months entire bottle just filled turns up "missing" I already know what your going to have to say to me, because im sayin g this in my head daily and its driving me nuts.. Sister says to me that she needs to get moms bills paid (mom has been in & out of hospital for months now never home more then a few days, some of this time mom is in coma due to cirrhosis ammonia levels) then sister says she had to create an online account through moms bank to "see whats what" but fails to mention to mom she did this, and my mother is old school she has no knowledge of PC use or online anything for that matter, Now this will be hard to believe, but take these above issues away for a moment and let me say my family has always been close and with my dad passing away over a yr ago my sister and I have become incredibly closer, Id say my bestfriend even then add back in the issues and here I am. I know without a shadow of doubt if I were to approach sister like I should it would blow up in seconds and divide our family, this has happened before over a different and smaller issue, since she remarried 2nd hubby who only knows how to be a crook it has honestly rubbed off on her, but she still has some of herself in there, Id have to own up to saying I, we, overlook things we know are shady from her and this is where im at, have talked some with younger sibling about this and he to had to admit he knows shes up to no good on some level, sister feels strongly that since she is the eldest child if there is any conservator or guardianship it should be her for that matter, moms health is getting to a state that we need to do something because she could go back into a coma anytime and sister is helping herself to what little mom does have and thats not much. She keeps saying homehealth will only get involved if mom no longer is able to drive, and at this point that is correct, but she could improve enough to get back to driving again she has before and only last drove 1 month ago although it was only for a few days..Ive written a chapter here and apologize for that but I guess Ive wanted to get sthis out one way or another. Bottom line here is we say nothing and it will get worse or say anything at all and it will be horrible as I can see why it would because her sibling(s) accused her of this. she will tell everyone what we did to her eith all she has done and given to mother and she has just started saying how she has given up her life for the past year as well, i;ll assure you there was a benfit to her in there somewhere. Is there some advice other then to call her right out? just hate to have the family divide and feud all we have are each other and our kids who believe it or not are all pretty close..Thanks for listening, much appreciated.

 
 

Carol72156

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Aug 16, 2011

Just for the record, my sister and I share Power of Attorney duties --- my sister takes care of the finances and lives in another state. I live nearby and take my parents to the Dr so I'm in charge of everything related to healthcare. We set this up according to my parents' wishes and with the help of an attorney 3 years ago and it works quite well.

 
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