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She had surgery on her right shoulder for a torn rotator cuff. Since then, she has been like an invalid. I finally got an in home nurse and a couple of therapist to visit a few days a week. Sorry I digress but just trying to fill you in on the picture. It became necessary for me to handle giving her medicines to her at the right times. We have gotten into several arguements because she doesn't think I give them to her often enough and she was taking additional doses that I wasn't aware of, God knows she won't let me have possession of all of them. So I started putting each dose in little cups with lids on them. Give her the night time meds myself and put the morning meds on her night table for the morning. I do have my own problems and don't always get up in time to give them to her. They are they and ready for her and my hubby takes her the coffee she has to have to take them. Tonight, she took her night time meds and I tucked her in bed. I just go back in there to check on her and her morning med cup is empty!! There is no other explanation other than she took them. She is denying it but can't explain what happened to them. She will lay blame on anyone else in the house before admitting that she just did this big no no. I guess this plan isn't working either. Ready to pull my hair out.

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the med ready and blame it on the machine. It work for my mom for the past 6 years an as an Alzheimer;s patient I would say she was 2. If they call you and tell you there are no meds in the machine, I would just say, "I know, you already took them." Even if you only put the am and pm doses in, it would go for 14 days. If you put 4 doses in a day then maybe a week. If she gets more than 4 doses a day you can hand them to her in the afternoon. But it will make your life soooo much easier. You can't even imagine. I just set one up for my brother who had a stroke about 6 years ago. We will see if he likes it. He does remember to take his meds pretty well, but this could help. He will have to fill it himself, but he seemed to get it, right away. Before I got the machine for my mom she had taken a full bottle of allergy pills in a week. I think that's why she had to get a pacemaker. She had no short term memory at all.
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Tell her the meds in her stash have all expired and you must throw them out. After you toss them she might ask about them. Just keep reminding her that they were out of date. When she asks for more of these old meds, tell her you will ask the dr for more perscriptions then tell her the dr said they were not necessary any more.
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Becca, I feel for your mother - torn rotator cuffs are so miserable, and even after surgery she's probably feeling extremely sorry for herself :(

She still can't go guzzling down extra pain meds like fun, all the same.

So.

Codeine? How long ago was this surgery?

Has her surgeon any alternatives to suggest?

How long has this been going on? - it sounds, from her having more stashed in her room, as though the codeine prescribing goes back way before her surgery. I've been surprised before now about how lightly it's handed out - I ended up hauling a whole bag of the wretched stuff back to the pharmacy long after I thought I'd got all the old meds cleared out of my mother's rooms. And if your mother's getting stroppy about not having more when she wants it, I'd be a bit worried. Mention this to her main doctor.

What about, asking your pharmacist for some ideas? If you're not able (and you're not) to hand over the doses at precise times, maybe there's some kind of automated timing-device dispensing box that will do the job for you. You know, like you get for cat food for people who have to be out all day - the timer trips a little hatch and then you can open the lid.

The only other thing that occurs to me is pain relieving gel, which you (or she, if she's mobile enough) could rub into her shoulder last thing at night. You can get over the counter ones, or her doctor might prescribe them. Anti-inflammatories are absorbed through the skin so get advice on the dosages, don't guess.
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Gayle, your dad sounds like mom, she does and says things and instantly forgets and will take that denial to her grave with her. Does your dad have dementia? Would should I do if I suspect mom has it and I definitely do. I talked to her regular dr who did a memory test and she passed 15 out of 20. But what kind of stupid questions are they asking. Must be pretty easy ones. Ask her what she had for dinner last night, or does she like brocolli? and later ask her the same questions. Get down to the truth of the matter. I am so frustrated and she is in denial and no one else to talk to.
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Thank you for the responses but it seems you need more info so here goes. My mom is super hydro paranoid about everything. If she can't find it, someone stole it. She is losing her memory bad but that is a subject that I am not allowed to discuss with her or her drs. She threatened me. She is scared to death of being told she has dementia or Alz. She would blame it on me (because my cousin did this to my aunt and took everything she had, she is afraid I will do that, although she has already given everything to my brothers who don't help me) I digress that is a different story. She does not want anyone to take control of her in any way, especially her medications. A while back she asked me to start filling her weekly med boxes. I did and she wanted them in her nightstand drawer. She did not give me her meds, I still had to leave them in her room, where she has plenty of other meds that she doesn't need or take. Old meds for this or that and dad's old meds and plenty of otc meds. She has a stash of all kinds of meds that she doesn't need and shouldn't have but I am not allowed to touch them. I will get cussed out if I even mention them. But on topic, when I go to get them at the end of each week, they should be empty but they aren't. Then have skipped days and nights, some slots with a pill here and there. I ask what is going on here. Why is this like this? She says I don't know, it has to be because I didn't do her meds right. So, when she had this surgery, she was totally out of her mind afterwards and her O2 was very low for a while. Talking all kinds of nonsense, I got her med bag and started giving her the meds as she was suppose to take them. I had her on a schedule. But as she started getting a little better, she wanted her meds back. We got into an argument and I gave them all back to her and told her to do them herself. The next day she wanted me to take them back. She had been accusing me of not giving her her pain meds right and that I was holding them back from her. Not true. But you see, you have more hidden in her room and I could tell she had sneaked and took an extra one, I am talking about oxycodone 15mg along with a ton of other meds. This is what caused the argument. Anyway, she gave them back to me along with the med bag and promises not to take anything I don't know about (remember she still has this stash in there). I only have the stuff that she is supposed to take on a regular schedule and she has some extra of those that she keeps stashed away too. That is when I got the cups (the weekly dispenser was working for her). I took her her night meds and put the am meds in a cup with a lid marked AM Meds on her night stand. I do this every night. I have fibro, lumbar stenosis, vertigo, tinnitis, and a lot of other stuff I am trying to take care of. I am doing my best.
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One last comment, Like I said, the MedReady has been a life saver for a long time now, but in the last couple weeks Dad has started calling me up to say, the "pill machine was empty when it rang tonight." (or "when it rang this morning" These calls always mean I have to drop what I'm doing and run over there, to check out the machine. Near as I can tell, the machine is working just fine. I think Dad is taking the pills and instantaneously forgetting that he did; then sees the empty compartment, and insists it was empty when he opened it. It's a pain to run over there all the time, and a bigger pain, convincing him that the pills did not just disappear. Not sure what we'll be doing now, but I think we are approaching the end of Dad's living at home.
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GayleV... Same here that if not for the MedReady, I honestly don't know what we would have done. My brother lives in her same town,but there was no way he could have gone 3 times a day to give her meds. I couldn't imagine paying someone to go there 3 times a day?! Between my brother and me (I live an hour away) setting up the machine, we can get at least 9 days worth of meds all set up. She is on Coumadin so that dose changes frequently but that isn't a problem just unlocking dispenser & adjusting dose. We have it set that the beeping goes on for 30 minutes before it stops so even if she is in the bathroom, etc., it will continue beeping until she gets to the dispenser. There was a while that she was SO confused (due to digoxin toxicity!!...a whole 'nother story in itself!) she was having trouble even using the phone, but could still take her meds correctly with this machine. Would not work for everyone, but definitely something to look into.
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I had to turn that one loose a long time ago. If she took the AM pills at night then she will just wait until it's time for the next dose. No arguing - no doubling up. BTW are the meds for pain? If so, is there a chance that she's getting addicted?
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I give my dad 17 pills a day 10 in the morning and 7 at night. I put them in my bedroom. So he does not double dip! I sit one night a week and fill up his pill box, basically to see what ones I need to refill. As a caregiver now you get to know little tricks. I call my med list the bible! :)
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I bought the MedReady for my mom, many years back. It was a Godsend. I had been filling the days-of-the-week container for her, but she no longer knew the day of the week, nor the time of the and. When she needed meds more times per day, I also tried extra boxes, marked with the times. She would refuse to allow Dad to handle the meds. (He was the person she targeted her anger at, then.) But he would at least be there.

Dad called me up one day to remind me to come fill Mom's pills, on a day I'd just done it just the previous day. (His memory was going too.) Needless to say, she had taken almost all the weeks pills in one day. (The result of that is a whole other story) That's when I found the MedReady on-line. Without that, mom would have needed visits at least four times a day. More likely would have ended up in the nursing home two years earlier than she did.

When she finally did go into the nursing home, Dad's dementia was in it's earlier stages, and we immediately started using it for him. After about five years of use, we needed to purchase a new one. Got the one with the super loud alarm this time as Dad is nearly deaf, in addition to the light. We are now at that same point with him. If it wasn't for the MedReady, he would have required much more in person help. long ago.
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I got my mother the Medready. It is a locked dispenser with a circular tray that holds 28 doses. You can set it for 4 times a day if you want. I set my mothers for twice a day so it lasts me about 14 days once I fill it. It sounds a buzzer when she should take them and she has to push back the little top to get them. That shuts it up. It takes a little time to get used to setting it. You can rent them for about $30 a month or buy one. It is worth every penny. My mom is 90 and she has had hers for about 5 years. It has a battery back-up in case the electric goes out. Takes it off of you...and she can be mad at the machine if she wants! My mom has dementia but she knows when to take her pills. Before that she would take morning in the evening, two bottles of allergy pills in a week! Then she needed a pacemaker and I wonder if the allergy pills had anything to do with that. I took away non essential drugs and added some vitamins. Her congnitive function improve some with that. Just make sure when you set the machine, the lever is pushed back and the drawer is closed before you lock the machine. My mom's extra pills are under lock and key.
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Speaking as a R.N., Medications need to be set up in a weekly dispensary set up, which can be purchased at any drug store. I have no idea how many time a day your giving meds to her, so this is difficult to answer. Someone need to over see the administration of each dose. YOU DON'T leave meds at her bedside....this is bad judgment for her health & well being. So much information is not given to say more. Good Luck....
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I would also be curious about what kind of meds she's taking too often. If it's pain pills, it's probably because she feels she needs them for pain or likes how she feels with more of them in her system. If they're not mood enhancers or pain pills, she's probably just forgetting.

It sounds like she needs something that has a timer and won't let her take them before it's time and reminds her when it's time.
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I use the pill dispensers from walmart, not $200 ones. I also do not allow my mother to keep any meds in her room ,even Tums, I am an old nurse.She once yelled at me she was having suicidal ideations, her exact words because she was mad at me for something , this was something she remembered because she has had so many procedures this is something the nurse would always ask, so after that I told her no crying wolf, and no more meds in your room, keep them where she can't possibly get to them. I did not ask her permission. She lives in my house and ain't nobody committing suicide on my watch nor will I be held hostage with passive aggressive behavior.She is on 180 mg morphine a day. My husband is also a retired nurse so it helps, she gets her meds on time. But if you even think she is having memory problems DO NOT leave any meds in room.Even over the counter meds can be dangerous. About the tums, it's nothing but calcium, but had a patient that took so many in a short amount of time he gave himself hypercalcemia which is like tetany, muscles locked up so bad he wound up on a ventilator for a while and this was because of to many TUMS. So no med is exactly safe , even over the counter ones.
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You can purchase a locked medicine dispenser from a med supply store They cost about $200 but are well worth it. I have been using one for 3 years
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Does she have dimentia? She may not remember she has taken them. I have had to commemdeer my mom's meds. Even after a year she forgets I have control of them and says she is out and wants to go to the store to get more. It is better to let her fight you for a while than to have her OD on meds. Every Sunday morning I set her up with two weekly containers, one for morning and one for night. I keep them hidden from her view but accessible for other family members should I not be home the dosage time. We have a given consistent location in view so we know that she has taken her mes. Hope this helps.
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You didn't say what the meds are for, but if they're for pain, she may be taking additional doses to deal with her shoulder pain. It's hard to sleep when your shoulder hurts.
OTOH, maybe she just likes catching a buzz? I'm not trying to be disrespectful, just curious.
If she's taking anti-inflammatories then it seems more likely she just forgot she already had her night dose and took another by mistake. But why is she being so defensive about it? It would be a good idea to bring it up with her doctor.
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So sorry for your situation.... My mom was having trouble keeping her meds straight while using the standard "days of the week" type of pill holders. We have been using MedReady for about a month now and it has worked great for our situation! If you go to Youtube or Google and search for MedReady you should find info on it. Amazon carries it & I received it in 2 days. Of course, your mom has to be cooperative for it to work well. My mom lives an hour or so away, so she still calls me 3 times a day when the little alarm on the med dispenser goes off, but she's done great with it. Good luck and I hope you find something that will help your situation.
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