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HeidiD
Give a Hug
Aug 6, 2009
My mom did the same thing. She always wanted her Mutti and there was nothing that would get her to stop. I know now that she is gone I want my mom back too. I guess they have such a impact on our lives that when we lose our short term memory the people most important in our lives are the one we want to fix us again. I know this is not the answer you are looking for but I hope that it helps to ease the stress. We parent our parents in their old age. And it is like having a small child, patience and compassion go a long way. Do not ask me to remember.Don't try to make me understand.Let me rest and know you're with me.Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I'm confused beyond your concept.I am sad and sick and lost.All I know is that I need youTo be with me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me.Do not scold or curse or cry.I can't help the way I'm acting,Can't be different 'though I try.
Just remember that I need you,That the best of me is gone.Please don't fail to stand beside me,Love me 'till my life is done.
- Unknown
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ezcare
Unless you've spent time with a loved-one suffering with Alzheimer's disease you can never know what it is like. Nancy Reagan is credited with the descriptive term "the long good-by" and Heidi's poem captures this very well. All I can add is try always to see things through your mother's eyes. As her disease progresses, her short term or working memory begins to fail and all she has to navigate through life is her long term memory--especially those memories which have significant emotional meaning like the death of a loving parent. During these times, the best response is to affirm her grief. For you it was 30 years ago but from your mom's perspective it might have been yesterday. If she begins to obsess about it, try calling attention to positive memories you have about the person like "she made the best apple pie you ever tasted" or she always liked a certain movie or song. This will help your mom springboard from one memory string to another but she will still be in familiar territory. You may even be able to guide her back into the present by throwing her a lifeline into her past. In any case--don't fail to stand beside her.
sweetbamabelle
Thank you for your post.....that is what we ( me siblings and myself) are doing to help assure her that she was with my Grandmother every minute....and REST ASSURE none of us would EVER fail to stand beside her.....I must say, my Mom was an amazing lady....she was ALWAYS there for her children and we all have successful lives, but MOST important - all 4 of her children are VERY close in our hearts...we live across the US from one another...but we are all there for each other and especially our MOM!
I realize what you said in your post daily....about trying to see through the eyes of my Mom....Once I excepted that my Mom has this dreaded disease, I thought...it's not so bad....you loose your ability to worry (which my Mom worried often)...but now I see what the disease really is.....truly a living HELL....please keep my Mom and our family in your prayers. thank you SO much for your post!
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