How do I deal with my 90-year-old mother who prefers to urinate in diaper rather than go to bathroom? I now have to insist she go to bathroom!

This is the way it is. There is no insisting or demanding. If they are wearing diapers, they are going to pee in them. Hate to be the bearer of unwelcome news but you just change the diaper. It's a diaper.
Your mother has Dementia, yes?
then all bets are off and you will see stuff you'd rather not.
It just is.
sorry.
Hang out with us on the Grossed out Thread because that's why we're grossed out! There's also a wealth of info there offered by seasoned caregivers.
We vent and gripe because at the end of the day that's all you can do!
Good luck and be good to yourself!
lovbob

yep that is the way it is . my dad is 87 yrs old and he goes in his briefs alot . once in a great while he ll say i have to go pee and well by time we get to bathroom his brief is wet and plus he did pee in the toilet .
dont get mad or upset cuz it does hurts thier feelings and its embarassment to them , just change it and put another brief on em and theyre happy camper all nice and dry . my dad always thank me when i change him ,
they cant help it theyre like a 2 yrs old , do it in diapers or do it in toliet , which ever way it goes , xoxo

Well...after reading all these answers I have decided to quit taking my dad to the bathroom every 2 hours or so even with depends. He is 97, frail and it wears him out going. Maybe I nees to chill and change him less. Morning, naptime 3 pm and bedtime. Maybe that is enough? I buy diapers that hold a quart! I may start putting a wet proof pad in chairs. Coolbuss

Just as I do not believe in punishing a child for accidents because they are learning, I do not believe in punishing an adult who has limited abilities, energy, or mental capacities.

Certainly try to encourgae it, but it is what it is, as Bobbie says. Both my parents are wearing diapers. I had to buy a diaper pail cause the smell in the basthroom permiated their small home. (I try to encourage the word "depends" to save any tiny bit of dignity they have left.) My dad will wear his until it leaks so when he gets in my car, he generally smells like urine, but he can't smell anymore. I still can!!!! Gross!! Yup, see ya on the Grossed Thread, Puzzled! So much fun!!

PT, Check and change more. Use a moisture barrier. And there is a foam cleaner cleaner for cleaning the bottom. Depends keep the wearer from the embarrassment of their accident becoming apparent. Changing, cleaning and a moisture barrier are a necessary job of the caregiver....Good Luck

If possible, take your mom to the bathroom or get a porta potty and put it in a corner in her room to use. Take her every 2 hours until she gets accustomed to the new potty right near her. You may be able to alleviate the long walk to the bathroom, but also re-train her to go on the portable chair. She will eventually need this as her walking declines. If she wont pee in the porta potty, maybe you can get a routine put her on for a bowel movement. That's what we are doing with my mom. We give her stool softener and prune juice the night before and in the morning put her on the porta potty. Most of the time we are successful. but sometimes she doesn't realize she is on a toilet and we have to instruct her. If your mom remains in diapers and resists, you can still bring her on a regular basis to the potty and maybe she'll go some of the time. Some long term memory can be recalled. Make sure her skin is well protected with A an D ointment,or some skin protectant to keep her skin from getting irritated. Also, change the diaper often. Don't want urinary tract infections. I also bought the super plus serviettes sold at Target, or drug stores that Poise makes to catch the urine(place it inside the diaper) so we don't have accidents, especially at night. Just change often.
Good Luck.
HW

At age 90, be glad that she is still able to function and urinate. Be happy with the situation you've got. Just change the diaper frequently and don't fuss about it.

My mom is only 84 and I thank God for depends. I purchased a plastic mattress cover to eliminate any accidents. I would rather change the diaper than get upset. Her feelings get hurt and she becomes belligerent if I insist, so please don't try to convince her to go to the bathroom. One of the things I do is to put a pair of her panties on top of the depend as she feels more comfortable with her panties on and there is less leakage. The only thing that I find is that her panties end up in the garbage as well. Because this is a normal faze in the progression of the disease, I don't get grossed out anymore. I just treat her with as much respect as I can and walk away cussing under my breath. It is a true venting and then I let it go, works wonderfully. I have to take out the garbage daily. I also find pads all over the house. So what, pick then up and continue on, she has no idea what she is doing. The only issue that I have at present is that she has a tendency to take off her underwear and pants and wash herself at the kitchen sink. My husband came into the room as I was pulling her pants up and directing her to the bathroom. Was funny because my husband is a dream, he just shrugged it off and walked away. Try to look at any situation from the funny side of the coin. Frustration drops when you can see the humor in the situation. She makes two cups of tea and when I ask her why she replies with, This one is for your friend. I said what friend, she replied with oh, I thought you had a friend. Enjoy your parent, you don't know how long they are going to be around. Vickie