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So, I have gotten help for trying to place grandma into a nursing home. Nobody in the family can take care of her. She had been in the hospital and a rehab center, and the person who was taking care of her is no longer able to. The rehab center CAN take her for long term care, but my mom says it's terrible. Every, literally, every other option is too expensive. It's even too much for medicare and medicaid to cover. Other than that she has no other money.

What are we suppose to do now? Just let her stay there?

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I know this wont be helpful to you all but it is good to know (or actually it is dreadful to know) that care of the elderly doesnt seem to be a priority anywhere in the world.
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Bear in mind that the facility might not be bad, it might just be that Grandmom and Mom hate the idea of being in any facility. I'm guessing her physicians at this point would certify a need for skilled nursing care. Medicare does not cover long term care, but Medicaid does if you assets and income are low enough. There is a lot of paperwork involved in getting the Medicaid application done, but if you are already doing online banking and maybe checking her paper mail you probably have most of the information you need. One of the big things I ended up doing for my folks was to go all through papers at the house and research various old insurance policies they had questions about, and I even had to handle the denial hearing that happened because Mom could not get the right papers together and kept sending them stuff they already had...at that time, only Dad needed Medicaid with Mom as community spouse and we did not realize Mom was starting to develop dementia herself. They needed documentation that the life insurance polices had no cash or "face value" which all but one did not, and they had a burial plan that was not technically irrevocable but they kind of let us slide on since it was set up by a funeral home and designated for a prepaid funeral plan.

If by chance you find out she had assets you did not know about that put her over the top, which it does not sound like will happen, there are options called spend-down and Miller trust that usually do need eldercare legal consultation to set up correctly.

I sure wish you well! And, I hope you have POA papers in hand too...both medical and financial...if you don't, get them if at all possible, even if you need an eldercare attorney if the facility SW can't help enough, and keep copies handy with you as you go about doing things on GMs behalf.

One other thing - the nursing home may want to become representative payee, and if you are up to it, you may want to try to get that yourself to keep more control over the situation, but basically her check will be used to pay for her care other than a very small monthly personal allowance. You get that by going to the SSI office usually and doing an interview and yet more paperwork - it is separate from any POA.

The world of eldercare today comes with a steep learning curve and a lot of complexity to the systems. Facility SW can sometimes help, other times, they assume you know more than you do, and they may be somewhat interested in keeping her there if she is a nice, easy enough patient...or referring you to their favorite eldercare attorney who might not be any better than others who are less expensive. Dept on Aging as mentioned above or "Area Agency on Aging" might be able to explain more. And, we will help as best we can here with anything else you run into :-)
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Please no letters. Each state calls their Social Services by different initials.
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How does a person get qualified for DIDDS
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First, I think your Grandmom's children should be handling this. If Medicaid has to pay because there is no money, your Grandmother will be put in a longterm nursing facility. Medicaid does not pay for assisted living. Here rehabs have longterm nursing so no problem in transferring to the other unit if a bed is available. The Social Worker at the facility can help you with Medicaid. At this point, I would allow them to follow thru. It will give everyone some breathing room to be able to maybe find another place if you don't like where she is. Just remember, someone should visiting regularly and not at a set time. This way you will be able to notice if something is going wrong.
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Try finding someone else to live-in for room and board if that is an option. You do not say if she has her own home. A rehab facility is not a long term solution it is meant to be temporary, and if they are wanting her to stay long-term I suspect they are wanting the money to keep her. When her benefits run out they will be the first to have her leave. Do some more digging into other help.
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I just read a few more posts and your situation sounds similar to mine with my mom's. Her only income is social security and it is not much at all. Some states (fortunately ours) have waivers for places like the personal care home I mentioned in my other comment. A personal care home is kind of between an assisted living and nursing home. It is usually in a house that is set up to care for a certain amount of people. I am taking my first tour of one today.
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Call your counties department of aging. I was just in this exact position for my mom two days ago. I spoke to an options councilor who helped out a lot and now I am researching Personal Care Homes from a list she gave me. The social worker at the rehab where my mom is really wasn't much help in this area.
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I'm sorry, just to clarify I did not pay my own money to pay her bills I simply had meant that I would help her pay her bills from her account since it was all done online.
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Myt mother was unable to care for me as a child so my grandmother took care of me. Mom was out of the picture for most of my life and now even though she's back in our lives she's still not able to care for people. She suffers from a few mental illnesses so she has herself to take care of as well. Her illnesses affect her more than mine affect me so I'm just better able to handle the mental/emotional tasks. Mom helps me when I ask for it but she's in no position to take over for me nor will I ever ask her to. If anything, it is grandma's fault for not planning her finances better. I never knew how bad it was until it was too late. I didn't fully take over until I was 25 or so and that was only 2 or 3 years ago right after I moved out of her house to live with my husband. I didn't know anything about money or what she would need. I just paid her bills because she couldn't do it anymore (the mail was piling up with over due notices when I would visit her so I offered to pay for her to catch up. I didn't know it would be a forever thing or that she would need care later). She was literally living for paycheck to paycheck on social security and pension alone. Soon after that the house foreclosed and she went to live with a niece because my husband and I were living in a 1 bedroom apartment at the time. We had no room for her there. When she moved in with her niece, she just got worse from there. She is only where she's at now because of a UTI and then the hospital sent her to a rehab that's also a nursing home.

Sorry for the long story.
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I am also wondering why all of this very detailed care of grandma has fallen on the granddaughter.

However, it is not unusual. I had an adult student once who was the sole caregiver for her aunt with multiple medical issues. She said the aunt had 20 siblings - yes twenty! Not one of those siblings would lift a finger to help care for this woman's aunt - even though several still lived in the immediate area.
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it is such a shame we burden our children with these issues. I don't know what the answer is but I do not want to ever do this to them. These last years are what they remember and that will be our legacy if we don't prepare. crazy system we have
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The home your grandma is in needs to help you find another suitable bed...check with long term care ombudsman for help. Something sounds off with the situation.
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Just curious....You mentioned mom. Is grandma her mother? Why is grandmas care falling on your shoulders?
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Okay. Thank you all for your insight and help. I will speak with one of the Medicaid specialists. I have to email them though because I'm currently out of the country... So far they said they would wait for me to get back but... I don't know. I think they are applying for Medicaid while I am away. They emailed me already asking about bank statements. I guess I have to wait for them to get back to me or until I get back home.
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contact your local area agency on aging and ask to speak with a long term care ombudsman. The ombudsman is an advocate and can give you a list of facilities close by and can give you other information. Apply for long term care Medicaid. Ask the ombudsman about programs that help to pay for care in the community or assisted living. Anything is worth a try. Facilities either are private pay, skilled where medicare pays and Medicaid. If the facility accepts Medicaid, and she qualifies, your grandma will have to give her check to the facility except for a monthly allowance as determined by the state, the Medicaid coverage will pick up the remainder of the cost. Good luck.
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OmgWhatNow, first step get your Grandmother approved for Medicaid. As far as I know there are no State run nursing homes, what the State does is approves certain nursing homes for Medicaid approval.... thus Grandma would be in a nursing home where there is a mix of self-paid residents and those on Medicaid.

From previous postings, you are only in your 20's, you shouldn't be handling all this on your own. Think of it as being good experience for you, something that you will carry with you the rest of your life, and you can relate to others who are in the same situation.
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This doesn't sound right. Nursing homes that take Medicaid are supposed to accept it as their full payment. Has grandma even applied for Medicaid? (Or the family applied for her?) Maybe what the social worker is saying is that the only Medicaid placement with an available bed right now is the one grandma is already in? In which case, maybe your grandma could stay there only until another placement becomes available?
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Thanks, but that's just the problem. The social worker is telling us no place is within her financial bracket...I fear the only places she would have to go to is something run by the state. I am saying that Medicaid will not be enough for anyone to take her. That's how poor my grandma is.
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If Mom won't do it and if she doesn't want to she shouldn't. Sounds the only option is a nursing home. It will have to accept Medicaid as a way to pay for it. Have the rehab social worker help to find her next place of residence.
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