How do I get my mother to let go of some of her stuff, like clothing she will never wear and magazines that haven't seen the light of day in 4 years?

Dear Stuck old people don't want to get rid of a thing.

For years I've been trying to clean up my moms room well by cleaning I mean eliminating. Each and every time I go through things she says the same thing over and over...."no that's good I want to keep it". I know people will say to secretely get rid of it ie give to charity, local rummage sale, donations to the church, or the local womens shelter. You could do that if you like but sooner or later that parent will ask about the very item that has been donated and if you say you haven't seen it, this will cause more anguish and will constantly work on your paren'ts mind.

About a year ago my mom had a bad accident on one of her moo-moo's, (please tell me you've heard of this dress term). Well rather than attempting to wash it, I threw it away. For a while mom didn't mention it and I thought she'd forgotten about it. Then one day she said she couldn't find it. She must have said it about 5 times so I told her that I'd thrown it away. Awwwww Lawddddd what did I say that for. She kept telling me over and over that I had no right to throw it out and that was her favorite moo-moo. Honestly if she hadn't had this stroke she would probably still be asking about it.

Now she has been looking for a black jogging suit. Somehow someone found the bottom however the top is still missing and I swear she bugs us and bugs us about that jogging top. This just happened since the stroke and we just cannot live that down. Both my sister and myself tore her closet apart and still couldn't find it. We don't know where it is, and neither does she but we never hear the end of it. Where oh where has my jogging top gone, oh where oh where could it be???? remember that song.

I don't know whether this helps, probably not but simply put they just want to keep those things around.

Sorry.....

If someone comes up with ideas, I'm-a-listening too....

Pamela, yes I know what moo moos are...sorry to say...you made me laugh...is your Mother My Mother? We have gotton rid of some of her things...much to our shegrin. We have never heard the end of how my husband threw out some "good summer clothes" she had put out in the garage in a plastic bag. No room in her closet I guess so the garage was for storage. You never hear the end of it...that's for sure. It does not matter that she will never use it or wear it...if it was good 20 years ago then it is still good. Oh and you can cut off the notifications by clicking on that little green arrow down at the bottom. I like the notifications because it brings me to the string I am working on.

I forgot to tell you we started just telling her it was up in the attic somewhere packed...that seems to work. She can't get up there anymore. Just 2 years ago she would climb right up the ladder!!

Stuck that was a good answer it will save a lot of problems explaining what happen to this or that and soon she will be on to something else anyway

I told my mom she'd have to give up some stuff or I was calling the Board of Health (she thought they'd put her in a home). One time after I'd moved her for the 4th time, we got into it over a sandwich bag of twist ties. She'd fight me tooth and nail over twist ties! The last arguement was over a bag of pine cones that she had setting in the kitchen entrance ready for her to trip over. Talk about stubborn, she'd trip over them before she'd move them just because I suggested it. Go figure.
Yes, Pamela, I know what a moo-moo is and after your mom got through with you, I'm sure you'll never forget what a moo-moo is either! ;-)

Oh man I saw the title of this thread, and said oh yes that's me. Rolling up sleeves here.....okay yeah here I go..yep my mom is a hoarder too, oh my there's stuff at mom's house since the 60's. Everything is kept. After my dad died 11 years ago I cleaned up a lot of paperwork around where he sat in the patio. That took awhile. Then all these 11 years I would see all the stuff my mom had and she had it all well stashed. Well last year when she 5150'd I was there for a month and started to clean. First I started with the patio again and put everything out in the garden that could be used as garden ornamentation,..and that came out so nice. She did not say anything, but after about a week she was out there recleaning as in vacumning and such. That freaked me out...what was up with that, like she had to double do me. Well just recently I started to do even more. You would not believe how much soap I found. Well what I did was when she's not looking and something is not out in the open like closets or cupboards I have been putting it out in the garage in the back of the SUV I take to go get her groceries, and I either dump stuff in her garbage or I take it to the Thrift shop drop off. So slowly I have been cleaning out on the sly. My old bedroom closet is filled with tops upon tops and tops, with price tags many the same kind 3 times over. Never worn nor will ever be worn. I made up so many trash bags full to take to the Thrift Shop drop off but it seems like the endless closet.,.my Gawd.

oh heck I forgot to mention sugar,..there where so many jars of sugar I had to toss gosh it was a sin...but it was in the garage for years....a g/f at work said this was all a result from folks going through WWII and the depression.,,to put things away in case something happened. I do believe that is the basis for a lot of it.

Oh my gosh, It's funny how I"m finding out how many other people out there have been through the same thing I have with my father. When Mom was alive, she and I "secretly" threw out a lot of Dad's stuff , and just like people here are saying, he kept bringing it up for a long time. ("Where's my this? Where's my that.....) Still, I think it was the lesser of two evils to get rid of all the baggage, and only have to listen to him ask about certain things.

A couple tips: I took books over to our local library and used clothing and appliances, etc. to the local Salvation Army ( they will take almost anything)-----This was OK with my father because it meant "finding a home" for his belongings.

Wow!!! Pandora's box!!! Get this!! When I cleaned out the laundry room I took out 17 large lawn bags of stuff! Stright to the dumpster! Just so you could get in the room. afew months later I cleaned again...another 10 or so bags...guess what I found? A sink!! I have been visiting her for 25 years there and NEVER knew there was a sink there! We cleaned for 2 years and have, I think, 5 or 10 yard dumpsters in the complex and I'll bet we have filled 20 of them...I kid you not! She complains the whole time we clean but when it is done and it looks so nice she is so proud and wants to have bridge at our home now. Now she hoards in her room though, it is to the point you can hardly get in. She has quit quilting and sewing...so that stuff is not far away for doom as well. I told her it reminds me of "My Brothers Keeper" where they kept all the old newspapers and had pathways thru them and then one day they all fell over and buried them alive.

Oh my gawd...a sink...is that the house you grew up in? Wow...I laughed pretty hard at that one.

When my mom is finally out of that house I will see what is all in the closets and the garage. I don't want to stir up a ruccus either. I am hoping that I find my 14 Barbie dolls and the 5 large Madam Alexandar dolls that were in pristine condition when I packed them at 12 years old. We have a bunch of vintage Avon but when I checked ebay they don't go for much sadly. So the things that she does not readily see I get rid of and it is so much nicer to find things when you need it.