My mom has been wearing the same dirty shirt for a week now. How do I get her to shower and change when she refuses?

This is pretty typical. What we did was just take the option away from my mom. If you can be there when she gets up in the morning make sure you take away the dirty clothes and stick them in the wash so she can't take them back out. Getting a hand shower attachment also helped us with getting Mom in the shower. She has to shower, you have to "make" her do so. Trust me, it isn't easy or fun. Good luck

does she take it off to go to sleep??? take it and wash it then. Is she afraid it will disappear??? Maybe you could get her a nice soft nightgown and change the sheets on her bed and encourage her to take a bath or shower before she goes to bed. If she likes things that smell good get her some body wash that smells good and that might encourage her. Is she afraid of falling in the shower or bath? that can be a big problem maybe you could offer to help her. take care, J

Oh I forgot, we wash Mom's hair separately, that made the shower easier also.

my daughter comes round twice a week and has a girly pamper night with her gran this seems the easiest way to make my mum bathe but is still hard work , good luck and bless you xx

Our Mom didn't want to bathe either. She was sure that she was going to freeze to death during her bath. Never mind that is stays a constant 70 degrees in the house all the time. We just put our foot down. Uncleanliness is not an option. It helps that every visitor that comes tells Mom how good she looks. Also with Mom being bedridden her skin get really bad unless she gets her bath everyday. I make sure that she gets lavender oil rubbed all over her right after her bath too. The yummy smell and feel good time negates the it's too cold!

Good Luck!

Pattie

I have the same problem with my 88 year old Mom. She seems to think that washing at the sink is the answer. Her underwear was so bad I had to get her to switch to depends. The tub baths are a daily battle, but I don't give up. But thanks for the hand shower attachment, that's a great idea, because most of the time when I run her a bath she just stands in the tub anyway. We did have the same problems with the clothes too, but I make sure she does put on clean outfits everyday. I just have signs and notes everywhere.

We have a little routine set. I tell mom I'll take my shower first and then it is your turn. I handicapped my bathroom for her. It is easy to step into the shower and sit on her seat. I wash her back and hair - she does the rest. When she is done getting dried off - her clean clothes are all laid out on the her bed. The routine helps - like a game.

Change her yourself.

good plan Pattie... sometimes I think our parents become somewhat child like in that they will want to wear what is comfortable all the time and they will not realize that they need to bath!!!

Before I moved to Mom's house to care for her (two of my sisters lived her supposedly caring for her)...I was told that Mom hadn't bathed in 7 months, but did right before I arrived. She wore the same clothes, but occasionally threw them in the wash. My sister finally threw them out.

At first I'd see how far she would go by herself before taking a shower, and after three weeks, gave up and just made her do it . Oh, depression contributes to this grunge behavior, so perhaps have her Rx'd Zoloft or other suitable...That made a world of difference in mom's attitude and willingness to be part of life again.