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I have moved in with my 86 year old mothers to care for her but she won’t allow me to go to the doctors with her. How do I get her to allow me into her world?

Asked by germancookie11 | Jun 17, 2010

Answers 1 to 3 of 3

anonymous13319

Jun 17, 2010

As long as she isn't asking you to help her make medical decisions, I suppose she can visit the Dr.s on her own. Perhaps she's super-private.
Sounds like she has been on her own for awhile and her world has become smaller and insulated. She may also resent that she needs some one to look after her.
Welcome to the double edged sword of caregiving. I hope it gets better for you. Doing this job is lonely enough.
Lilli

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castoff

Give a Hug

Jun 17, 2010

Sorry you're in this situation. Your mom may be trying to hang onto her independance as much as she can. This is a two edged sword but try to give her as much space as you can safely. When she becomes ill you'll be there for her and I hope she welcomes your help. You will be needed soon enough. Let her do for herself as much as she can for as long as she can.

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shedevil

Give a Hug

Jun 17, 2010

German cookie11,
Don't worry, sounds as if she has been on her own for awhile. Maybe giving you and her some "adjustment time" will help ease her into the fact she will need your help. It's not easy losing your ability to control your own life, so she is hit with a double whammy! She has lost her independence and her daughter is now living in "her" house (which by the way she has managed for many years." I know it's difficult and hurtful when she does this (my mom did it to me), but I promi sed when she realizes you truly have her best interest at heart she will include you in more. Just imagine teaching your son or daughter to drive, you love them but do you "really trust" them behind the wheel of a car? This may be how your mom my feel. Anyways, I hope this helps. Good luck, dear.

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