I am tired of doing all this alone. I am a single 50-year-old women. Where can I find a support group of caregivers my age?

Asked by sunluvbev  |  Aug 28, 2010

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  •  Answers 1 to 10 of 36 
 
 

NancyH

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Aug 28, 2010

The best support group I can think of is your church family. Maybe it's time to seek out a good one with a big singles group.

 
 

tennessee

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Aug 28, 2010

This is good place to start.

 
 

sunluvbev

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Aug 28, 2010

I have never joined a church in my community..I'm a believer just have never found the right one..
I've been thinking this may be the place for me too...

 
 

tennessee

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Aug 28, 2010

IT's tough being a caregiver without help,emotional support makes a big difference.

 
 

deefer12

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Aug 28, 2010

Welcome Sun, None of us want to do this anymore, but talking to us here does help. It's a good place for support and advice from people who have been at it for a long time. Naheaton's suggestion is also a good one. What illness does your mom suffer? There are many support groups at local hospitals that deal with caregiver issues. You might check with your mom's doctors. Good luck!

 
 

anonymous13319

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Aug 28, 2010

Sun: I found out when I started this journey, 3yrs ago, that old friends and many family members just scatter when I became a caregiver. Strange, isn't it? It is so hard to make friends when you are past your 20s or 30s and especially if you have a parent to care for. Although, I have to admit, the friends I make now are so precious to me because they understand what I am going through and how my time is so limited.
The folks here in this forum "get" what you are going through. They have saved my sanity on many a dark night. Many have become my friends too.
Caregiving has some similarities to combat duty...you go through these incredibly tough times with others who are experiencing the same things and then a bond is formed.
I think meeting people through church groups, social organizations, volunteering, school, are all great ways to meet friends. Carve out some "me" time and go for it.
Caregiving for me has been such a humbling experience. It has taught me the grace of depending on others for support. Hope you find the same.
Peace,
Lilli

 
 

joy5914

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Aug 28, 2010

I understand, i've been caring for my dad alone for the past 8 years, my dad is 74 years old and i'm 40 and i'm soooo stressed but i cannot give up on him because he's my parent. Just know that you're doing the right thing by caring for your parent and continue to be there for your parent.

 
 

Willow215

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Aug 29, 2010

Hi...I'm Glad you're here!!! When I saw your post, I thought maybe it was one that I posted. I'm 49, single, an only child, and am totally alone in taking care of my mom and s-dad. I love them dearly, but I'm not up to the task of taking care of everything. I have medical issues of my own, but I'm still expected to take care of running errands, doing all of the laundry, vacuuming (which my drs/specialists have prohibited me from doing), etc... I feel so alone and cry often b/c I desperately need help physically, and find myself becoming more and more depressed, and have even been getting panic attacks. I can't handle it all, and when I ask (plead) with my mom to hire some outside help for 'light housekeeping', etc... she blatently refuses.

I'm here anytime you need support. You're not alone totally, emotionally, b/c of this website. It's a great support with wonderful people who understand what we're going through. I wish you had some help though. I do understand being totally alone, frustrated and many times afraid...

Keep reaching out for support.
Kathy

 
 

sunluvbev

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Aug 29, 2010

Wow, tahnks so much for all of your support...I guess it's the guilt that really gets me, sometimes I just want to say I'm done, no more, someone else has to take over...believe it or not I have 3 siblings...all married, all doing well, but for some reason I can't get them to understand how difficult this is, they get to come and spend time with dad when it is convienent for them and on their schedule, I live it everyday, come home from work and do the same thing every day.
I hired a house keeper 2X a week, and I asked for financial support from my siblings, a very small monthly contribution and you'd think I ask for a million...their response was...sell the property (my mom and dad specifically said never sell the property, save it for family so they have a place to come home too (Lost mom 2 years ago, property is paid off), and my favorite was the maybe we should put dad in a nrusing home if you cant handle it...so needless to say I get absolutley no help from siblings...except their token visits and when I leave for a rare weeknd and they have no choice but to step up...
anyway, listening to your stories does help and I am fortunate to have a very good support group from my daughter and best friend...
thanks to all...and yes I will keep reaching out to all of you, it does feel better knowing you all have your own stories and understand where I am comming from...Beverly

 
 

sunluvbev

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Aug 29, 2010

Hi Deefer, it is my dad, we lost mom 2+ years ago, and you name he has it...diabetes, COPD, emphasema, in a power chair, he has a cathader, oxy 24-7, and he has had several infections these last couple of months, I keep thinking the end is near and I'll wake up one morning, or come home from work and he'll be gone...that in it's self is driving me bonkers...
and for tennesee and heaton I am looking for a church ...I'll keep you posted on my search..I want one that accepts everyone, regardless of their personal choices...I am hoping there is such a place...

 
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