My 86yo father-in-law despises children, all of them, not just mine. We currently are living in a situation where we all reside on 1 property with 2 separate units. Father-in-Law is the owner off the property where he resides in the in-law quarters and my family resides in the 3 bedroom home. My husband takes care of his personal needs and 10 acre property. I take care of my husband/caregiver, in-laws 3 dogs (as much as I can), 10 acre property and do my best at taking care of my own family of 4. Neither one of us are employeed outside the home. This has been our 25/7 job for 4 years now and before we married my husbands "job" since becoming an adult. (Im beginning to feel like my husband was born for no other reason than to just care of his father.)
Dad does not like the younger generation. He doesn't like them on his property and is demanding they leave. My daughter is 19, my son is 17, they are both step children to my husband.
Can my husbands dad force my children out of my home that he owns just because? We have had the sheriffs here a couple of times and they had us all leave. After a week I was told that me and my son could come back but my daughter was not allowed. I refused to return to a place where my children could not be and I was not in charge of making the rules for my own kids. I expressed my doors will never be shut to my children. Father-in-Law agreed to allow my kids only. No friends or family can visit. We all agreed. Every morning this man has walked in to my kids bedrooms without knocking just to make sure they had no one else in there. We put a lock on my daughters door. This morning he couldnt open it and came barging in my room demanding my daughter leave or he would call the sherriff.
So here I am, no savings with my husband being the only source of home and money and my daughter being forced out of the place I call home.
There is so much more but my family awaits. Any advice would help. ANY, trust me. I am at a complete loss.
There are always other options. Scary options. But you need to decide what to do.
Wait a minute. I just checked your profile. You live in California? California has a law about being kicked out of a home. It made the news when this couple hired a nanny from Craiglist. The nanny stopped being a nanny and stayed in her room. They fired her and tried to kick her out. She refused. They called the cops. And the cops said that this is a domestic court and not a criminal one. The couple found out that there is a law in California that protects people - like you and that nanny - from being kicked out of the home. The owner must leave a notice of termination - that gives the boarder time to find a new place to live. So far, that nanny has been living MONTHS after this was done.
So, you need to find out what's your legal right there. I don't think the cops can escort you out. Check one of those attorneys who handles clients of no or little income.
In effect you enabled FIL's arbitrariness when all of you agreed that only your children could be on the premises.
I'm honestly finding this whole situation difficult to believe. It's almost like one of those horror stories of the fundamentalists and their cultist lifestyles with a self appointed male who controls everyone.
What about the person for whom you're caring, or is that FIL?
You need to contact a social worker for your area; try the county, or call 211 the United Way hotline. Or ask the local police.
Ask about alternate places to live, such as a shelter for you and your children (if your husband doesn't come with you), or some type of temporary housing just to get away from this nightmarish scenario.
And don't tell FIL you've leaving.
Somehow, some way, FIL became too powerful, manipulative and controlling and has gotten away with it. The only way you're going to have a decent quality of life is to get out, ASAP.
And husband needs to get a real job so he can support his family. Leave FIL to fend for himself.