My mother&#39;s husband is using her social security check for his advantage. What can I do?

Ralph Robbins, Nov 10, 2011

Ralph S. Robbins, CFP© is a fully licensed Certified Financial Planning Practitioner specializing in Eldercare Financial Planning. He works everyday helping families in crisis find creative ways to fund long-term care expenses and deal with family financial issues.

Is this your perspective or does your mother share the same view? Does your mother have cognitive capacity (can she make decisions for herself?). Does she therefore have or not have the ability to change or create a new power of attorney?
There are many options here. I'm guessing her husband is not your father, correct?
The absolute bottom line here is that if mom is not being well cared for you can file a petition for guardianship. Most family courts make it relatively easy to operate pro se (represent yourself) in these matters without an attorney.
Also, most counties have an elder abuse hotline and most Adult Protection Services in those counties are very good at what they do.
If the situation is precarious, contact them first (the equivalent of Adult Protection Services in your area). If you are then not satisfied you can always hire a private attorney.
And by the way, although I appreciate the recommendations to contact an elder law attorney, it is a very expensive way to get help. Most seeking help are not in a position to pay hundreds, if not thousands, for advice that can be obtained from social service agencies.
An attorney will have to gather and present the same evidence as Adult Protection Services will have to in order to present a case in family court.
Love and Peace to you and your family...

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sylvester18

Nov 10, 2011

You need to be more specific. Since they are a married couple, any monies brought into the union is THEIRS. Is there/has been abuse which is warranting your thoughts? Has your Mother complained about this to you? My honest opinion is if your Mother has adequate food, clothing, shelter, personal care and being seen by a doctor regularly, you have no reason to question what is happening between her and her husband.

Helpful Answer (1)

N1K2R3

Nov 10, 2011

As long as your mother's husband is using the money for her care, i.e. food,clothing, shelter, medical, transportation and entertainment, there is no abuse , as I see it. If they file a joint return , MARRIED FILING JOINTLY, THE MONEY IS THEIRS. If abuse is suspected, you should contact an atty who will direct you from there. You have to have proof and meet the requirements under elder abuse.

Chickie

Nov 10, 2011

Is he paying for her care? His he paying all her bills? Medical care is very expensive. Check with the Nursing Facility and see if they will let you see the bills for her care. In times like these families have to stick together. Does she have a will or something that makes him be responsible for all her bills. If he is elderly he might not have enough money to take care of these things, and is relying on her check to paysome of the bills.

sydney

Nov 12, 2011

in emotional circumstances it's important to understand an elderly's need for love is often reflected in unwise spending...you are too close to the situation to be truly objective, put your frustration aside - ask a professional counselor to assess what the husband needs to feel happy and at the same time protect his wife..there is a good possibility the husband feels ineffective, lonely and abandoned...shopping may be his only relief... from sydney gay kislevitz - good citizen advisor
student

Barbara44

Nov 23, 2011

My husband and I share our SS checks and pay bills out of both of them. I wouldn't say he is using them for his advantage, but for both of them--even if she is not cognitive.