My mother is 78 and has suffered three stokes due to high blood pressure and diabetes. She was in the hospital for almost a mother due to her starting to have seizures and from there was transfered to a skilled nursing facility. Once she got to the skilled nursing facility she would scream and cry every day that she didn't want to be there. I would go and visit her every other day and she would act the same way with me and I would just sit there and take it from her, knowing that her being there was the best thing for her. Then her behaviour got worse and she would make me feel so bad for placing her in the facility that I just cried every day. Once her insurance stop paying I brought her home thinking her being in a comfortable and familiar enviroment would make things better. The first day she got home she started back refusing to take her medicine and she had done before she went into the hospital. Now things have elevated to where every time I call her or come to see her at home (she lives with my dad whom cares for her and well as i do ) she just says to me "let me die" and I would try to comfort her but she would keep saying it and when i even mention to her it time to take her medicine she would scream at me and tell me to leave. Not until today when she called me while I was at work she was crying on the phone saying to me "let me go", i realized that she is waiting for me to say to her its ok to go. I don't know if anyone has ever experienced this from a loved one they care for, but ever since i came to this realization i can't stop crying, i guess its the selfish part of me that want her to stay here forever, how can you have a conversation with someone that gives them permission to leave us (knowing we are not in control) but to just say the words. i cant do it
If she is cognitively intact, she has a right to refuse to receive treatment. If she's terminally ill, you may have to accept that that is the path she has chosen. I have had several relatives who have elected to forego all medical interventions once their condition became terminal. It's a perfectly reasonable decision.