How do I get my mom to agree to sell her house and either move in or move closer to me?

Asked by Avie  |  Jul 12, 2010

She's 83, her home is paid for, but I can see that we really need to get her to sell. She's competent and does okay, but it's showing that we really need to get her to agree to sell and move in with me or at least closer. We are states apart now and it's very hard for me to help her and the best situation is to be closer. I do not have plans of moving back there with two teens, and I have hinted and even bluntly talked to her about selling, the whole idea, she just seems to be in denial and dismisses it and changes the subject. I know it's not easy for anyone to leave their homes, memories, but being so far apart and the fact that she's getting into money issues, I really need her to sell as well as the house being a money pit now for her and a constant worry. I'm not sure how to go about getting her to sell, or the best way approach her. My brother says we need to be more forceful, but not sure that's the way to go either.

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Carol Bradley Bursack, Jul 13, 2010

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories."

 

My suggestion would be to back off as a family and ask a third party to start working with her. A faith community leader or a long-time friend could put the bug in her ear. Parents often feel pressured by "kids" and then dig in their heels, even though they know in their hearts a move would be good.

Even a financial advisor or her doctor may help. But she is not likely to respond to pressure, and she can still make her own decisions.

You might like to read this article on getting parents to move:
http://www.agingcare.com/133263
CArol

 
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