My 92-year-old mother is not eating. What can I do?

Wow - I'm sorry to hear this, it's a tough situation and would leave anyone feeling helpless, confused and worried. The type of advise anyone may offer depends on your mom's situation. Is she living alone? with you? in assisted living or a nursing home? what do you mean by "not eating"? Is she refusing all meals? Is she living on donuts and coffee? With out more details, here's what I can offer from my own experience: First, try understand what might be going on with your Mom. Is there a medical condition that prevents her from swallowing? Does she refused all food and water or just some foods? At age 92, and depending on her condition, any diagnosis might be harder on her than is humane. I've seen similar cases with my sister in law and father in law. Turns out that sister in law, age 64, had a minor stroke that affected her ability to swallow. She didn't realize it and thought she had a sore throat and inner ear infection. After some doctoring and therapy she was okay. My father-in-law, age 85, did the same thing and we just understood that it was his wish to pass. He had many health problems and had been in a nursing home for a few months. As his 85th birthday approached, he stopped eating and drinking completely. Short of physically forcing him there was nothing we could do. He was too frail to force feed and we had too much concern for his dignity to do that. He slept a lot and passed away after about seven days. At first he slept through meals; he refused to go to the table and said "just let me sleep". His doctor worked with the nursing home to keep him comfortable. We hated to loose him but given that he didn't suffer from dementia and had so many health problems, it was best. We also have a strong faith that we will see him again in a healthy body.

To better understand what's going talk with her doctors or ask that the doc order a visit from a home health nurse. If you can't rouse her, you can always call 911 and they'll take her to a hospital to be completely checked out. Be aware that they will do all they can unless there are legal directives otherwise - that means a living will, power-of-attorney for health care and the like. They will stick her for blood samples, do all sorts of tests and probably pump her with fluids. You need to clearly understand what she'd want.

It's always good to have some support from your minister, friends or family too. It's hard to know how much more advice, comment or support to give without knowing more about this situation - I assume that at 92, she's not living at home alone. So .... best wishes to you and your mother.

Her physician may want to trial something like Megace which can increase appetite for some people. If she perhaps has Alzheimer's, she may have trouble with sequencing and may need you to spoon feed her for a few bites until she comprehends what it is she is supposed to be doing. You might also try letting her graze - giving her small snacks frequently throughout the day. Many elders find a traditional meal too overwhelming, but they will happily snack on small portions several times during the day.

Yeah, more info would be great. My mom has limited her eating, mostly from denture problems. Here are a few things I learned almost by accident. She drinks a very high protein chocolate drink, which I spike with coffee to make a mocha. To make it more enticing, I put drops of mint extract or orange extract (potent smell and no calories).
I have a sports drink sippy cup, very secure. I found that I could not fill it more than halfway or it was too heavy for her to lift comfortably. Oh, I got a Benefiber supplement, dissolve this into her drink each time. Regular as clockwork. Check that problem off my list.

The other thing she eats readily is yogurt. Now she can't eat anything other than very smooth. So whip in the "fruit in the bottom" or just buy smooth brands. She loves these so was troubled when she wouldn't eat some times. What else would she eat? !! ?? Turns out the cups were too cold for her to hold. So I pulled out some of those novelty socks from Christmas and holidays, and cut them up to make insulating sleeves.

I just read that the texture of food is very important, and that some patients can no longer drink thin liquids without choking. Thus yogurt works great. There are yogurts in handhold packages, for kids. One can also buy small cute rubber or silicon spatulas, which can be licked rather than handle a spoon. I saw in the Ensure section at the drug store a powdered thickening agent, but have not tried it yet. I mixed some mashed potatoes into beef stock once and that worked fine.

LynnPO really covers it all...my Mom is 96 and still very independent but her eating is an issue. I use small portions, energy bars, the small size bottles of water, mini muffins, small dishes, any small but high calorie foods that have taste. If she wants ice cream anytime of day, she can have it! I keep it interesting; she gets bored with her food after 2 weeks so I look for new items. Boost or just regullar milkshakes work too.
Having company when she eats makes the biggest difference, it's a social event. Keep the conversation going, or the TV on as a distraction as to how many bites she's had. Good Luck...it's a constant challenge !

Have you tried the bottles of food supplements, Ensure for example? Have you asked your mother why? She may be able to tell you. Everyone has given you some good ideas - maybe your mother can answer some of their questions. And, remember, your mother does not need as much food as you might think. Good luck.

Hi Lelli~ Your mom may not be eating for a host of reasons-and I guess you will try to find some of them out. There are meds out there to enhance her appetite...there is also a possible issue of her ability to swallow..another possibilty may just be depression..Once you get to the bottom of things, you may be able to effectivly proceed. In the meantime, if she is not eating there are food suppliments available - such as boost or ensure.

Good luck!

Hap

I have the same the problem, but I've found that mom seems to get on 'Kicks" of one thing or another. For a few days there, she had a sweet tooth so Cinnimon buns and Pastries were all she would eat. I gave her plenty. Then it might be a certain fruit that she wanted for awhile. I also leave snacky-nibbly things all over the house and a few times a day would just hand her something or other with a smile and walk away. Luckily, she loves ensure and isosource, althought they are expensive. Something else you may want to try is (and please don't get me wrong here) letting her get hungry. I noticed once when I was at my wits end that by NOT offering or serving up the regular meals, she began to ask for something.

My mom is 92 years old also. She resides at an assisted living facility and has just returned there after a hospitalization for C-diff (Clostridium difficile) intestinal infection and a 20 days stay at a rehab. She has lost 11 lbs.from not eating and can no longer support her own body weight, so she isn't walking anymore. She remains in bed at 86 lbs. and is refusing all foods at this point. I try to get some nourishment into her and offer Boost, yogurt, puddings....anything that slides down easily, but it's a struggle. She says she isn't hungry. Her body is shutting down and preparing for death. It is gut wrenching for me to see her slowly die this way. I wish I could talk her out of this and tell her she can save her life if she would just eat, but once the body prepares for dying, it doesn't go back, at least not at her age. I go to visit her every day to try feeding her again but I'm afraid I am only postponing the inevitable. The best I can do at thist point is feed her my love and support to help her transition. My heart goes out to all who are also going through this heartache with their parents.