We think mom had a stroke 5 months ago, and won't see a doctor. How can we get her to go if we don't want to be the "bad guys?"

Asked by mommalegue  |  Jan 13, 2012

Mom has lost her balance, cant sleep more than 3 hours at a time, and her memory is nothing like before. she was sharp and witty and is nothing like that now. She stares off into space for long periods (30 minutes or more), she stands in her kitchen doing nothing for hours, she has forgotten how to do things she has done 50 or more times, When were over her house for Sunday dinner, we are all sitting ready to eat and she has to be told to come join us. Most recently (and definatly the scarriest) she drove off the road! When she called us and all she said was" I have a flat tire"! She was driving on a straight road, no turns, when asked what happened she said I guess I didn't turn back enough! Dad can't get her to go to the doctor, and dosen't want to be the "bad guy"
Any thoughts on how we can get her to be seen by a doctor would be greatly appreciated. THANKYOU

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Carol Bradley Bursack, Jan 14, 2012

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories."

 

Has she never seen a doctor for this stroke? She's lucky she's alive, as you well know. If she won't listen to your dad or you, would she listen to a good friend. She could well have an infection rather than have had a stroke (if a stroke wasn't diagnosed). Perhaps this friend could tell her that she seems to have symptoms of a urinary infection and that she likely needs an antibiotic (could be true - UTIs can cause many of these symptoms). Have your dad contact the doctor ahead of time letting him or her know about your suspicions. Once she's in a doctor's office she may cooperate. If she won't go at all, even for a check on an infection, then you may have to wait until there are worse symptoms. But tell her she can't drive until she sees a doctor about this possible "infection." Good luck,
Carol

 
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