My mother-in-law wets herself and then refuses to change her clothes, how can I get her to change so she doesn’t smell?

Asked by CC  |  Jan 23, 2011

Prior to me writing this this is how the conversation went.
"Mum, your skirt is very wet at the back"
She replied. "Yes, I know. I have just been up stairs, so I'm not going up again.

I said." If you sit down in your chair it will also get wet, so what do you think would be better to do"?

"I'll see to it later" She replied.
My husband then said she should go change now as her chair will begin to smell as so will she if she doesn't go change. she ignored him but her attitiude suggests that she just doesn't care.
She uses incontinence pads and I have throw away cover sheets for her chair, but unless I clean after her she would just sit in the wet all day every day. It was so bad earlier that she was actually dripping all over the floor and had to mop up after her. We have been told that she is in the early stages of Altzhiemers, but this problem is getting worse. When it comes to food or money or what is on the TV she is on the ball, but her personal hygene she just doesn't care anymore, and the more we ask her the more she fights against us.

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JollyJ

Give a Hug

Jan 29, 2011

I guess the first question is has she forgotten how to take care of it. Second is does she have to go upstairs to take care of it. Either can be daunting for someone in this situation and they will fight rather than comply - usually because they don't know how to comply.

Also, never ask a question, just say, "Let's go." If it is something they have forgotten how to do, they cannot cope with a question or a choice.

You don't mention her age and that can play into it also although Alzheimer's hits at all ages (my dad was 61 and died at 71, my mom is now 94).

It may seem like she is with it as far as the TV, money and food but for a long time my mom was able to make it look like she knew what she was doing. When I was actually with her all day, it became clear that things weren't what they seemed. That said, you may well be right and those capabilities are still intact but if she is going downhill in one area, the others will follow sometimes so subtly that you may not notice.

I wish you well!

 
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