My 81 year old mother lives with my husband and I. She wants to go everywhere with us and we have no alone time. What can I do to get her to understand that we want some alone time?

Asked by extexan03  |  Jul 28, 2010

Answer This Question

 
 
 
  •  Answers 1 to 3 of 3 
 
 

IsabelCares

Give a Hug

Jul 28, 2010

If she is able to safely be at home alone, I would tell her that you and your husband have made a commitment to each other to # of weeknight dates. Let her know that you are excited about going on dates with your husband. Ask her if she would like to have some friend, a neighbor, or other family member stop by to visit or just check on her on your date nights. Let her know that you will periodically call her to check on her as well. It doesn't have to be a date night. Could be weekend daytime hours, of course. Whatever works for you and your husband. Unless you have concerns about her safety while alone, you need to make it happen by how you convey the information to her. Be sure to let her know that as a couple you both need some alone time. Good luck and enjoy those dates!

 
 

IsabelCares

Give a Hug

Jul 28, 2010

One thing just came to mind. I never hesitate to let my mother know when I want some me-time. I think it is all in how we deliver the message, balancing our needs with the sensitivity of our loved ones' feelings.

 
 

jojosmeem

Give a Hug

Sep 28, 2011

When my mother moved in with hubby and I, we created "date night" she knew that every friday night that we were going to go out to dinner by ourselves. As she got to the point that she could not be alone for those nights, we asked family and also put an email out to church members who were more than happy to help out.
Now, 5 years after Mom is gone, we still do "date night" and we still look so forward to it.

 
  •  Answers 1 to 3 of 3 

Answer this Question

Please stay on topic or ask a new question.

Find Senior Housing And Care That Fits You Needs

I am looking for:
Search location:











Housing


Care


Join the Discussion

Have a question? Just need to vent? Find answers and support from the real experts - other caregivers!

Stay Connected

Sign up for our newsletter and receive practical tips and support for caregivers

 

Like AgingCare.com on Facebook