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My 88 year old mom has severe COPD and the doctors say she has 6 months. She wants to go home and have her children take care of her, is this the best idea?

Asked by trouble | Jul 27, 2010

Answers 1 to 2 of 2

Aug 1, 2010

It may be a lot more than 6 months - my mom has been living with copd since 1990 and is now 85- I sacrificed my family life and gave her the best care possible along with some really great Dr.s therapist etc. But at the cost of my own personal life- I had 4 children at home.

I would not do it again - yes I would take care of her but it would not be under the same roof. The strain and verbal abuse I have taken took a toll on 5 other people in my home .

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LynnPO

Give a Hug

Aug 2, 2010

Trouble - Though my experience with COPD is limited to my Dad, I will tell you that there's no way we could care for him at home. He was too heavy for us to lift and the rooms and halls too small and narrow to maneuver a wheelchair. If the COPD is severe, a wheelchair is necessary. This might be your way "out" of the situation, tell your mother that you can't meet her physical needs at home; that her safety comes first and she needs to be some place where there's enough TRAINED staff to help her day and night. There's also considerations for the bathroom and bathing -you need a good sized room with grab bars to safely transfer her to the commode or tub.

It is not selfish if you don't want to keep her at home. It's hard to know how long a COPD patient will last - docs told my dad 6 months, it was 2 years. You must consider what you're able to do for your mom - emotionally and financially. Is it wise to give up our long term financial security to take care for them? Probably not. We should also not sacrifice the family relationships that will outlive our parent or loved one. If you're creative, you can all be there for her and for each other. Best of luck.

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