Home » Senior Living » Living With Family » Questions » I have to have surgery on my knee. Mom…

I have to have surgery on my knee. Mom lives with me and can't take care of herself. Should I ask her to go to respite care?

Asked by Bhenson  |  Dec 28, 2011

 Print

Email Email

I'm having knee surgery beginning of February. I am the only driver in the house and take care of my 87 year old mom and my husband as well who had a stroke. Mom is extremely needy and cannot do much at all for herself including bathing. I can get someone in to do that for her but what do I do with her all day long as she will drive me crazy and still expect me to help her somehow. She doesn't really "get it" and is ALWAYS unhappy. Should I ask her to go to respite care for a week or so in order for me to recoup? Problem with that is she honestly thinks she can help me somehow after surgery. She can hardly walk by herself and is almost blind. Help! Any ideas?

Answer This Question

 
 
 
  •  Answers 1 to 1 of 1 
 
 

Carol Bradley Bursack, Dec 29, 2011

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories."

 

Yes, respite care! Please! I know your mom just wants to help and that will just make things harder. Having in-home care come in is good, but if you can get her into a respite home for a few weeks, that would be the biggest help. Maybe you can have your doctor or hers explain to her that the biggest help she can be to you is to have others take care of her needs while you get better.
Good luck,
Carol

 
 

(0)

Report this Post 

  •  Answers 1 to 1 of 1 

Answer this Question

Please stay on topic or ask a new question.

Find Senior Housing And Care That Fits You Needs

I am looking for:
Search location:











Housing


Care


Join the Discussion

Have a question? Just need to vent? Find answers and support from the real experts - other caregivers!

Recent Community Activity

are there other people who are no longer caregivers, but still come to the forum?
Answered 6 mins ago by bilmo2012

Should I pay off my grandma's house?
Answered 15 mins ago by bilmo2012

Grossed Out? Need to Vent? Just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!
Comment 19 mins ago by cuz49341

Why is dad telling everyone I lied about having cancer? He should be happy they got it in surgery!
Answered 26 mins ago by sebring

Early-Onset Alzheimer's: When a Caregiver Needs Care
Comment 2 hrs ago by Chimonger

More From The Community »

Stay Connected

Sign up for our newsletter and receive practical tips and support for caregivers

 

Like AgingCare.com on Facebook