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I had to tell my mom that she was moving to a retirement community nearby, how do I ease her pain and bitterness?

Asked by kathyk | Apr 7, 2010

How can I ease her anger, pain and bitterness?

Answers 1 to 3 of 3

Apr 7, 2010

Transitioning into a care facility can be a stressful, and upsetting thing for many people. There are a lot of benefits in having a parent in a care facility. Much less stress for you, and more social interaction for your loved one. Social interaction can help relieve mental disparity and lonliness associated with changes in age and lifestyle. Having more people around can benefit your loved one's aging process. Also, trained and certified professionals will be available to her.
A retirement community can offer much needed independence and growth for your aging parent. Although she may not like the idea of moving into a retirement community now, I am sure once she is settled she will feel more comfortable being around aging adults like herself, and in an environment that she can be more independent.

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anne123

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Apr 7, 2010

Many senior communities have staff who can can help you with the process of moving your parent into their facility. I am thinking that the more help you can get with this move, the better you will be able to manage your mother's emotions (and hence, your own). Yes, it is upsetting for your mother, and you do care, and you need to find a way to get the help you need and also manage your Mom's emotions. There is an organization called the National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM)---you can find them online. They could put you in touch with a professional who could help you with all phases of this move. It sounds like you have made a good decision here, which is best for you and for your Mom. I would advise you to hold fast to that decision. Once your mother is in the new community, just give it time and I'll bet she comes to love it. The other residents provide a lot of support to one another. I have noticed that the seniors have more patience and understanding for one another's frailties/memory problems, etc. than some of us who are younger. When I see another resident compassionately ignore my father's inappropriate ( or even angry ) comments, I am touched by this. The senior residents provide a healthy peer group to surround one another at these senior homes. Good luck and take care.

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Littlesis

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Apr 27, 2010

Dad met a woman that drained him financially after mom died. It only took 4 years for him to run through all of their retirement. The friend kicked him out and sent him to me with $20 in his pocket. It has been a nightmare unraveling his financial issues. He is in elderly housing, but he currently has bills he can't pay. Dad gets angry when I try to guide him financially, yet the POA seems useless at times. I can't stop him from creating debit. Am I missjng something?

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