What do you do when your mother, who you turned your life upside down for, says to you when the dementia is not bad "I want to go home?"

It does hurt to hear those things... it doesn't mean she isn't grateful, it means her life is upside down too.... that is not to take anything away from your feelings... and with her having dementia, she will forget she said it...and when you are not so tired , you will let it go.... hopefully.... you apparently are doing a great job... always keep that in mind.... hope things get better for you... let us know how you are... hugs and angels....

She may mean she is sick of her situation which has no bearing on you. My mom told me to leave her alone until I grow up, haha!! People with dementia say all kinds of things so just take it with a grain of salt. It can be hard to ignore. I take it she lives with you?? If you can, take her to adult day care a few times a week to break up her routine and provide her with social stimulation. I wish I could get my mother to go just to the senior center but she won't. Take care and stay positive.

As a caregiver, you cant take anything they say too personal. Deep down inside what hurts is that you know that if they didnt have the Dementia, they most likely wouldnt have said the hurtful words to you. When you face that fact, reality of this disease it what your feeling and I know first hand it is stressful and breaks your heart at the same time. My advice is to remember, they are expressing feelings they have with the only words they can remember to use...so think of it this way: "im sick of it here" probably means "I am feeling lost right now". To keep strong, remember who they were BEFORE this disease consumed them and why you are there to caregive for them. They may not remember...but they still feel. Good luck :) Keep your head up! Cherish the good moments.

When my Mom says things like this, it's hard not to let it hurt my feelings.. She is my Mom. I'm learning that it's the dementia talking.. but for that moment, it stabs like a knife. Taking care of my Mom is one of the most challenging things I have ever done. I know she loves me. I know that she is grateful. But no one is here to tell me out loud. My inner voice doesn't always speak up. Thanks for your comments. They do help.

Tell her you love her very much, that you need to keep her safe. That you don't want any harm to come to her. And honestly trying to redirect her attention can be a godsend.

Dementia, as you well know is terrible. If she had a kind soul prior to the disease, she is grateful. If you are capable of s few minutes away, jogging around my house and praying have helped me cope. My neighbor asked me today why I was running at 3am? My answer, therapy!

Validate her statement to you. You can say," Mom I know you want to be at your own home but you were not safe there which is why we brought you here. We love you and want you to be safe." Then redirect the conversation to something else. The best thing I have heard so far is "You can't win an argument with someone with Dementia". I always keep that in the back of my mind. Hope this helps you too.

Hi my sister and I got a call around a year and a half ago to
Come and pick up my step mother from a rehabilitation hosp in nc,this was in Aug she had fallen in may and fractured her back, plus started with dementia, we live in Nj, my stepmother has a house in nc, the Dr said she cant live alone anymore, we brought her to assisted living but she said it was to much money, so she is living with me, my sister is poa and my step mother keeps saying she wants to go home, but she cant and we don't know what to do.