Does anyone wake up in the morning feeling one way and then at the end of the day feeling another way?

Pamela,

Im sorry youre so down, my dearest..

heres my advice.. tell your mother that if she cant speak to you in a respectful manner.. then youre done talking to her...and go about your business...

stop giving all.. the only person you need to give all to is yourself.. if she wants more.. you say NO.. put your foot down.. is it going to kill her or hurt to not have what shes asking?

dont take it under any circumstances! "mother, again, as i said, im not taking this.. i do not need to be here i want to be here to help(a little white lie never hurt anyone lol), but i cant help if you wont help me".

What are you cleaning? is it reasonable to you to be cleaning so much? i can understand an actual mess(your mothers mess only). but if you find something that she wants cleaned is an unreasonable request. dont do it. "im not here to be your maid, mother". a caregiver is a very different thing than a maid.

and well, finally, er change.. hmmm.. well if she NEEDS to be changed then yeah lol but if shes just sitting there and wanting to try on different outfits lol yeah, no..

all im trying to say, lovebug, is that i just started doing this with my mother and have seen a marked improvement. if she opens her mouth and i can see where her comment is going, i quickly jump in "uh uh.. if you dont have anything positive to say then stop talking" i turn my back on her. i do. if she starts in on me about something ridiculous or an unreasonable request or comment, i ignore it. she got so irritated that she would start asking me why i was ignoring her. i said, "i did not hear a please or a thank you or anything in that tone of voice that i will respond to".

its still rocky, of course, but ive seen how im not as down at the end of the day as i used to be since TAKING a little of that control she has over my emotions from her.

all my best wishes for you, pamela *hugs*

Pamela,

Boy can I relate! I'm having a rough day too with mom. All I can do is hope tomorrow is a better day since there isn't anything I can do to change the situation. It would be nice to wake up and find it was all a nightmare and the mother that used to be my best friend was back.

Sorry I don't have great words of advice for you, but I certainly understand the situation. Try get some rest since that usually helps me cope a little better.

Good luck!

PAM:

Do a Google search on "Tips to Avoid Burnout." It should help you with developing more effective time/organization skills. Also, stop taking S__T from people! Even if your pastor says a little suffering is good for the soul and that being like Daniel will pave the way to Heaven. Perhaps if he volunteered to help you "endure" all this you'd feel groovier all the time. But of course that's not going to happen.

Make time to care for yourself and worry about Heaven later. Otherwise you won't find the strength to get there either. There's nothing wrong to taking "me time," so go ahead girl. Indulge yourself every once in a while.

-- ED

Hi Pam,

You simply MUST take some time for yourself...the reason is simple. If you don't take care of yourself first, then you won't have anything to give to anyone else...it is counterintuitive, but if you seize some control back for yourself, you may find the time you do give less stressful. And keep taking breaks for yourself...because you deserve it and you need it! :)

TOm

Hi Pam, I can relate, we have been at this for years. Last night my mother asked me why my husband thinks her home is his motel. This is a man who has helped her at every turn. I let him speak to her and laid down. It is difficult chica, take any time to can for respit. I go to water aerobics and find I can deal with her moods a little better. We are all in this together.

Hi, Pam-
Yes, I have had those trying times......When my father starts shouting and ranting at me when we're out in public. I feel embarrassed -----This is NOTHING like the man he used to be. He sounds so.....ugly....for lack of a better word. It is sickening to see. Then I remember the man inside him, the man who raised me and was "the best Dad in the world". I love him deeply and will be here for him to watch over his care, all the while setting the limits that I need to keep me healthy and strong. We love our parents. We are doing our best.

hmmm funny you mention this...this morning I felt like yesterday was all a shadow...even though I know I did a lot of chores at mom's house...washing clothes, washing dishes, making up bed, cleaning toities, making coffee and sandwiches, pulling weeds, taking out the trashbin to the curb, throwing away all the food I buy that goes bad to the crows if I can, writing bills, balancing budget, etc, you know the same stuff you all do as well...but I felt like I was in a fog and could not enjoy the oscars. Yes alone time is very very very muy importanto!