Too young for this, yours has got to be the dumbest reponse I have ever seen on here.
Ever think he is going through all his money and won't be able to pay his bills? You know property taxes, credit card bills, groceries, etc????
How about if HHC workers need to be hired? Or if he has to go into assisted living at $4,000 or more a month? Than what?
I know, contact the strippers and hookers and those good hearted gals will send some money....LOL.
As far as meeting women online goes, he isn't meeting these women to form actual human contact, these are scammers, they're one step away from someone who would be hired to come into the home and steals.
The only thing you got right was that the OP as the ex-wife can't do anything about it, but the adult children certainly should.
Interesting you think their only concern is inheritance, sounds like you're talking about yourself.
I have a friend whose mom has had Parkinsons for several years. She is now at the point where she can't be left alone. My friend takes care of her on weekends and they have two women the rest of the time. It's costing the family $5K a month, that's $60K a year, money doesn't grow on trees.
This issue needs to be addressed by the adult children, and worrying about the inheritance isn't the main reason.
Had some trouble getting back here, I am Ex-wife02. The kids are ours, and he is an elder, 78 years old in later stages of Parkinson's His sexual obsession is much more than normal and since the women make no secret of their professions my statements were not overstated. His latest "lady" is 25, a stripper at a local club and has already taken him to the bank to cash a check and to the mall on a marathon shopping trip. When the kids wanted to meet her, she disappeared. She asked him to marry her on their first date and tried to get a $4000 line of credit at a casino using his name. In my world this sounds a little like a scam. He also has sent money overseas to women he met online. None of these females have made any secret about what they do for a living, but he will not see reason when it comes to understanding their interest in him. In his mind he is in love with them and they love him too. If this is a normal way of filling his empty life it is dangerous and will leave him broke and unable to pay for his remaining years. I thank all of you for the suggestions, I will pass along these to my kids. The judgements are because all the facts are hard to cover in this venue. I was married to this man for many years and have been divorced for 20 plus years. I have no interest other than one human for another and not wanting to see a friend come to harm.
ex wife - we have seen this problem before here with Parkinson's. I looked it up online and Impulse Control Disorder (ICD) can happen with this disease - to quote - "In Parkinson's disease (PD), ICDs most commonly include pathological gambling, excessive spending and hypersexuality " Greg Pontone, MD. It can be related to the meds they are taking and in the one instance that I recall from this site, the dr changed the patient's meds and the problem went away. His doctor needs to be informed about this behaviour as he may have a solution. Good luck to you and your children, It is good of you to try to help. Let us know what happens.
Parkinson's can alter a person's ability to think logically. The Kids should communicate with Dad's doctor and advise that dad is giving money to on line hookers. Get documentation that dad is not competent, and take that to guardianship court.
Also contact APS and see if there is something that can be done. They may be able to pursue individuals exploiting the disabled.
See if you can have someone be a conservator of his money. Put limited money in the account he uses, maybe weekly, and keep the other in a different account to pay his bills etc. Once the ladies get no money, they should stop. Also, see if you can get a record of who he has paid, and send them a notice that they are taking advantage of a disabled person and if they continue, the kids will advise "the authorities" (police? fraud unit? APS?)
I don't know if blocking his internet will work, seems like there are so many ways around this.
Finally, let Dad know how much he has spent, and how much he will need in the future. Budgeting is important. Have it written down so he has time to think about it when he isn't feeling foolish or confronted. Then offer to help him with his money.
I think the kids need to get control of the situation with a conservatorship of his money. Obviously he will run out of money and the kids will have to support him if something isn't done soon.
He is a sex addict, TooYoungForThis? Really? You can diagnose that from a short description of his behavior? I'm impressed -- not.
I believe your loved one has mobility issues. I don't know if you have ever lived with or cared for someone with dementia and/or Parkinson's. I have. Many, many people who post here have. Have a look at emjo23's post in this thread. That is a far more likely explanation than that this man is a "sex addict" and does "what a lonely man does." He has a disease. YooHoo ... this man has a disease. And you know that he is still competent because ... well, just how do you know that?
You who were so quick to conclude that his children only care about their inheritance and that is ex-wife has something to gain by trying to look out for him and now feel qualified to diagnose his problems and his competency kind of make me sad.
I have a ex who I still care about and I would be willing to try to help out children help him if I thought he was in trouble. Heck, I'd even be willing to help out my stepchildren if they were worried about my husband's ex (their mother). My ex's children each make more money themselves than he ever did and have no interest in his money, but I imagine they would be alarmed if he was going through his assets quickly and was likely to run out of money to pay for his assisted living care. Perhaps because I have these facts in my own background I did not immediately assume the worst motives of the original poster. It is sad to me that anyone's background predisposed them to jump to the worse-case-scenario conclusions and then make pronouncements based on that jump.
Ever think he is going through all his money and won't be able to pay his bills? You know property taxes, credit card bills, groceries, etc????
How about if HHC workers need to be hired? Or if he has to go into assisted living at $4,000 or more a month? Than what?
I know, contact the strippers and hookers and those good hearted gals will send some money....LOL.
As far as meeting women online goes, he isn't meeting these women to form actual human contact, these are scammers, they're one step away from someone who would be hired to come into the home and steals.
The only thing you got right was that the OP as the ex-wife can't do anything about it, but the adult children certainly should.
Interesting you think their only concern is inheritance, sounds like you're talking about yourself.
I have a friend whose mom has had Parkinsons for several years. She is now at the point where she can't be left alone. My friend takes care of her on weekends and they have two women the rest of the time. It's costing the family $5K a month, that's $60K a year, money doesn't grow on trees.
This issue needs to be addressed by the adult children, and worrying about the inheritance isn't the main reason.
His latest "lady" is 25, a stripper at a local club and has already taken him to the bank to cash a check and to the mall on a marathon shopping trip. When the kids wanted to meet her, she disappeared. She asked him to marry her on their first date and tried to get a $4000 line of credit at a casino using his name. In my world this sounds a little like a scam.
He also has sent money overseas to women he met online. None of these females have made any secret about what they do for a living, but he will not see reason when it comes to understanding their interest in him. In his mind he is in love with them and they love him too. If this is a normal way of filling his empty life it is dangerous and will leave him broke and unable to pay for his remaining years.
I thank all of you for the suggestions, I will pass along these to my kids. The judgements are because all the facts are hard to cover in this venue.
I was married to this man for many years and have been divorced for 20 plus years. I have no interest other than one human for another and not wanting to see a friend come to harm.
His doctor needs to be informed about this behaviour as he may have a solution.
Good luck to you and your children, It is good of you to try to help. Let us know what happens.
Also contact APS and see if there is something that can be done. They may be able to pursue individuals exploiting the disabled.
See if you can have someone be a conservator of his money. Put limited money in the account he uses, maybe weekly, and keep the other in a different account to pay his bills etc. Once the ladies get no money, they should stop. Also, see if you can get a record of who he has paid, and send them a notice that they are taking advantage of a disabled person and if they continue, the kids will advise "the authorities" (police? fraud unit? APS?)
I don't know if blocking his internet will work, seems like there are so many ways around this.
Finally, let Dad know how much he has spent, and how much he will need in the future. Budgeting is important. Have it written down so he has time to think about it when he isn't feeling foolish or confronted. Then offer to help him with his money.
Good luck.
I believe your loved one has mobility issues. I don't know if you have ever lived with or cared for someone with dementia and/or Parkinson's. I have. Many, many people who post here have. Have a look at emjo23's post in this thread. That is a far more likely explanation than that this man is a "sex addict" and does "what a lonely man does." He has a disease. YooHoo ... this man has a disease. And you know that he is still competent because ... well, just how do you know that?
You who were so quick to conclude that his children only care about their inheritance and that is ex-wife has something to gain by trying to look out for him and now feel qualified to diagnose his problems and his competency kind of make me sad.
I have a ex who I still care about and I would be willing to try to help out children help him if I thought he was in trouble. Heck, I'd even be willing to help out my stepchildren if they were worried about my husband's ex (their mother). My ex's children each make more money themselves than he ever did and have no interest in his money, but I imagine they would be alarmed if he was going through his assets quickly and was likely to run out of money to pay for his assisted living care. Perhaps because I have these facts in my own background I did not immediately assume the worst motives of the original poster. It is sad to me that anyone's background predisposed them to jump to the worse-case-scenario conclusions and then make pronouncements based on that jump.
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